"Boys do not ache for their father's masculinity. They ache for their fathers' hearts." T. Real

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XXXV.

Alex searched the plantation, daring not to ask any of the labourers if they had seen the two white men who had been spotted on the plantation the day before.

He walked swiftly, ran through fields, and absolutely tested his once brilliant strength, pushing himself to keep moving as quickly as he possibly could. As he moved, Alex's heart thundered in his chest, and it was hard to decide whether that was because he was running about like a madman, or if it was because he was about to come face to face with his father once again ... and this time, Captain Whitfield knew who he was.

It was only after searching through every field that Alex returned to the ruin that once was Master's house. If he closed his eyes, he could still vividly see the man standing out on the upstairs porch, looking out on all he owned like a king. The house, itself, was uninhabitable, but Alex did remember that there had once been a cellar underneath the house where all the fine French wine had once been kept.

Alex raced around the back of the house and found the rotted, wooden doors that led down into the old cellar. A rusted chain, which Alex presumed had been draped over the handles, was on the ground beside the door, and Alex knew that this was now the most likely option.

The doors were practically rotted through and nearly crumbled as Alex pulled them open, one by one. Sunlight streamed down into the cellar from above, illuminating a set of stone steps. The smells emanating from inside were musty and old, and Alex knew that anything of value was long gone.

"Are you down there?" he called. Looking around, Alex added, "It is safe to come out."

Not a minute later did Alex hear movement from within the cellar, and moments after that did he see the face of Adam Beresford appear on the steps, ascending up towards the sunshine. Adam was followed by Captain Whitfield, and Alex helped both men to climb out from the cellar.

When he grasped the hand of the captain and pulled, their eyes met, and Alex saw the recognition. Of course, the captain knew him. They had travelled together and had become acquaintances. But now there was recognition, connection ... a bond.

"Susanna?" pressed Adam before Alex could say anything. "Where is Susanna? Did you find her? Is she alright?"

Alex met Adam's worried stare. "Yes, she is safe," he confirmed. "I found her safe and well." Did he dare tell the duke that in order to get Susanna safely out of the Palais du Gouvernement he'd had to pretend that they were married? Did he dare tell the duke that ... that he really wished it were not a lie?

Alex elected to keep his head in that moment. "Please, come with me," he urged. "I will take you to her. Walk behind me, not at my side." They would once again be spotted, and Alex knew that the smartest thing to do would be to have the white men appear subservient, and not equal or superior.

They were, of course, stared at and approached by the workers and labourers on the plantation, but Alex offered words of reassurance as they moved quickly towards the empty field. Susanna was easy to spot in and amongst the field of tents, washing lines, and firepits. Her golden hair shone brilliantly in the sun as she sat beside Belle, who had ventured out from inside the tent.

Adam spotted Susanna instantly as well and broke away from them as he ran towards her, calling out Susanna's name.

Alex watched as Susanna's head snapped around when she heard her name, and she rose to receive her brother. 

"Alex." Captain Whitfield reached out and grabbed Alex by the wrist, stopping him from moving. "Wait a moment."

Alex turned around, and the minute he did, his breath caught in his throat. Captain Whitfield was looking at him, really looking at him, as though he was committing every feature and facet of Alex's profile to memory. And as he did so, Alex couldn't help but look at him, too. Of course, he had looked at the captain, but it was different now. They both knew what they were to one another. It was clear.

And the captain didn't look ... he did not look at all disappointed. He did not look at all like he wanted to reject Alex. He had to understand, it seemed, that like Susanna, this man had come for him.

Captain Whitfield had come for Alex, because Alex was his son.

Despite them being so obviously different in appearance, Alex could see in the captain's face, in his father's face, features that he had inherited. They stood at eye level. Alex's height was exactly the same as his father's. He had certainly outgrown his little mother by the time he was twelve or thirteen. Though older, Alex could see the strength that his father had once possessed, and probably still possessed, across his shoulders. They were both broad and strong. Alex recognised his own strong jaw in sharp line along his father's chin, and even noticed his own heavy brow as Captain Whitfield searched his every feature.

"You wouldn't dock here." The words escaped Alex's mouth before he knew what he was saying. "You wouldn't risk your crew. And yet you have come."

"You knew then, didn't you?" Captain Whitfield asked, before his eyes softened a little. "You knew the moment you learned my name," he realised. "Your name."

Alex barely managed a stiff nod.

"It doesn't matter," Captain Whitfield said then decidedly. "It doesn't matter," he said again. "Of course, I came. When I learned who you were ... who you are ... of course, I came."

Alex could hear the tenderness in his father's tone. It was a tone he was wholly unused to, and one that he had never experienced from a man before. It was a completely foreign phenomenon to feel cared for, and it was something he seemed to instinctively misunderstand. He knew that his demons were the blame for that.

But Susanna had come because she cared, and so had Captain Whitfield. So had his father.

"Yes, I knew," Alex confirmed quietly. "As soon as you told me your name, I suspected ... I knew. I knew I was your bastard."

Captain Whitfield flinched at the word and shook his head vehemently. He placed his hands on Alex's shoulders and gripped him tightly. "Bastard?" he sneered, saying the word distastefully. "No. You are my son." He moved his hands from Alex's shoulders and gently placed them on the sides of his face.

As soon as he did, a chill ran down Alex's spine.

"Quoi qu'il arrive, tu es mon fils," he repeated in French.

Alex felt the tension that he hadn't realised that he had been holding in his shoulder dissipate as he exhaled a shaky breath. "Père," he whispered.

Captain Whitfield smiled. "Yes," he confirmed.

Father. It seemed surreal to even imagine that he was blessed with not one, but two parents. The father that his mother had described seemed almost imaginary to him as a boy, and yet here he was, a living, breathing, flesh and blood man who was proud to call him "son".

At the same time, both father and son wrapped their arms around the other. Alex felt his father's hands on his back, over the scars that were etched across his skin. In that moment, the past, his past, truly felt like it belonged to someone else.

When they parted, Captain Whitfield said, "I have so much to learn about you."

Over his father's shoulder, Alex could see that Susanna was watching them, a smile on her beautiful face. He returned her smile, before flicking his eyes back to his father. "We have much to learn about each other."

***

Susanna watched on with an unapologetic smile on her face as she observed Alex and his father connect for the first time. She had observed that Alex did not understand how people could care for him. It was a fact that deeply saddened her. But she did sincerely believe that he would understand properly one day, and that he had already begun to.

Alex had accepted his father, and she could see the happiness there in his eyes as they embraced for the first time.

"Qui est cet homme?" asked Belle, observing on as both Susanna and Adam were.

"He is Alex's father," replied Susanna, before uttering the word for Belle, "Père."

Alex left them shortly afterward once again to fetch his mother, and Susanna noticed the heightened alertness that appeared on Captain Whitfield's face at the thought of seeing Alex's mother after all this time.

Susanna, herself, felt very nervous as Alex's mother was the most important person in the world to him. He had said it himself that every seemingly unforgivable sin he had committed had been for her. Susanna knew it was desperately important that Amélie liked her and approved of her.

But she did wonder, and predict, that being reunited with Alex's father would properly eclipse their own meeting. What would their acquaintance be like after so long? Could it be called an acquaintance? Susanna did not understand well enough, but she knew that if such relations had occurred back in England that everything would have been hushed away and the couple would never have seen each other again. That or they would have been married with a special license promptly.

Much like Jack and Claire had been married promptly with a special license. It felt cold and dirty to speculate about her brother and sister-in-law, as for whatever reason for their prompt marriage, they were indeed very happy together with their beloved child.

Alex returned a short while later accompanied by a very petite woman who looked to be about half his great height. Her skin was deeper than Alex's but was just as beautiful as his. It was clear and smooth. She wore simple, sturdy work apparel, topped with a grey cloth that was tied around her abundance of thick, ebony curls. Her thin arm was looped through Alex's, and Susanna watched how instinctively protective Alex became as Captain Whitfield approached them.

Amélie appeared quite apprehensive, not that Susanna could blame her. She would certainly have no idea how she would react were she in that position. But she spoke to the captain. And he spoke to her.

And after a while, it felt quite rude to watch them. So, Susanna instead looked to Alex, who was standing some fifty feet from her, with both of his parents. Though she couldn't hear what was being said, she could see Alex visibly relaxing, his shoulder dropping, the line between his intense brow disappearing.

"Do you think it is going well?" Adam uttered under his breath to Susanna.

Susanna did not know what to expect, or indeed what Alex hoped for. She merely hoped for him that he would have the privilege of knowing and having both of his parents in his life. It was at times like these that her thoughts often drifted to her own dear departed papa. She wondered if Adam thought of him, too.

"I hope it is," replied Susanna.

----

I hope you enjoyed it!

I'm sorry I didn't get this up last night. It got to 1:30am and I just couldn't keep my eyes open. The minute I woke up I got to writing so now I need to get up and start my day haha.

Completed another week of lockdown, and it's supposed to end on Tuesday night which I'm crossing everything for. Hopefully will be back at school on Wednesday!!

Anyways, I'm going to get up and go and switch on the Olympics because the first Aussie medal contender in swimming at 11:30am. CMONNNN AUSSIE!!

I hope you have a lovely week xx

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