"Though a lifetime of listening to the music of the world has passed, even now the tone of the rain on the roof of my home is the sweetest sound I have ever heard." Kensi Brianne Smith

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XXXIX.

After weeks, or some months, at sea, Susanna finally spotted land off in the distance, and was promptly informed by the crew that they were soon to sail past the coast of Ireland.

Ireland.

They were nearly home! Susanna felt nerves of anticipation in her stomach at the very thought. She was excited. Of course, she was. She was excited to be home, and to see her family, and to be in familiar surroundings. But then she was certainly anxious about the changes that were to come. It was hard not to be. Susanna had spent a great deal of her life as a terribly naïve debutante. That was how it was meant to be. Women of her position were deliberately kept that way until they were transferred into the homes and hands of their husbands.

But in taking this journey, Susanna had succeeded in finding the worldliness that she had long desired, and she had succeeded in finding a partner. Not a husband, but a partner, a man for whom she would cross oceans, quite literally, and she knew that the feeling was reciprocated. Alex had lied his way into the Palais du Gouvernement to rescue her, after all.

Susanna loved him. She was not entirely certain when she had fallen in love with Alex. Perhaps it was when they had known each other in England, or at least the start of it was. By the time Susanna realised it, she simultaneously realised that she had been in love with Alex for a long time. When she focussed on this, and this alone, the changes that were to come, and the troubles that they would no doubt face, did not seem so frightening.

"We are ..." Belle paused, furrowing her brow in concentration as she searched for the English word in her head. "Near?"

Belle's spoken English had improved dramatically throughout the voyage, and her reading and writing were improving as well. Conversations could sometimes be broken with French when she could not remember the word that she was searching for, but Susanna was genuinely impressed with her.

She and Belle had indeed become friends during their journey. In spending time with Belle, Susanna could understand why Alex had been so determined to protect her. Belle reminded Susanna a little of a bird with a broken wing. There was a helpless fragility to her that warranted protecting. But at the very same time, behind her golden stare, Susanna could also see great strength ... a strength that she indeed kept hidden. Belle guarded her secrets well, and never let anything slip out of her mouth that she did not intend to share.

Susanna never pried. She could not even begin to imagine what someone like Belle had been through in her life. She did pray that Belle would find some peace and happiness in England.

Susanna was determined to help Belle find it. She had talents and ambitions, even if she was not entirely forthcoming about them. She liked to draw and create, and often painted with her index finger on the deck of the ship in between words when Susanna used water and a paint brush to help her write. She was also a talented seamstress, though Susanna was loathed to guess as to how and where she had developed that skill. It did not seem to bother Belle, however, and she enjoyed sewing. It was one of the first things that she had articulated to Susanna in English. Susanna had torn her hem on a loose board on the deck, and Belle had sourced a needle and thread and had mended it like new. Susanna possessed her own sewing skills that she could have handled a fix like that, but Belle was insistent, and seemed quite content with needle in hand.

"Yes," confirmed Susanna. "We are near. We will be home soon."

Belle focussed for a moment as she translated what Susanna had said, before she smiled. "Good," she said gladly.

Susanna suddenly spotted her brother over Belle's shoulder, emerging from the hold wearing quite a forlorn expression. Such a face brought Susanna immediate concern. "Please excuse me, Belle." Susanna left Belle and headed straight towards Adam, nearly tripping over a rope as she hurried.

Adam's appearance had altered over the last months as Susanna's had in the way that his skin was tanned from the extended time in the sun. His hair was longer, as well, and he had not been able to maintain his cleanshaven jaw as he usually did.

"Adam, what is it? What's wrong?" Susanna asked, her brows furrowed with concern.

Her brother's hazel eyes flew directly to her own. "I haven't been keeping track of the date," Adam replied regretfully. "Not since Christmas, not properly. It has been difficult to. I ... I just learned that it is March twenty-eighth today."

Susanna desperately searched her memories for some significance for the twenty-eighth of March, but she could think of nothing. What on earth was Adam so upset about?

"Lily," Adam all but whispered. "Her first birthday has come and gone, and I missed it."

And realisation fell down upon Susanna's shoulders like an anvil, and she felt rotten to the core. It had not even occurred to her that her niece's birthday was coming, or that it had already been. But that was not the issue.

She was Adam's daughter. Never before had she seen a father so devoted to his children. Susanna included her own father in that assessment, God rest his soul. Adam adored his two daughters more than anything. The family that he had Grace had created was what they truly deserved.

And yet, here he was, at the tail end of a journey that had taken them months. Susanna had asked, and Adam had not even hesitated. Adam had accompanied her, supported her, and all but put his own life in a drawer for her.

And it broke her heart to see this pain on her brother's face. If Adam had felt this before, he had hidden it well. This was the first time that Susanna was seeing true grief over the separation of his family.

"She was still a baby when I left," Adam continued, his voice nearly breaking. He looked away from Susanna. "She won't be a baby anymore. She won't know me. She won't smile at me when she sees me."

Susanna did not know what to say to bring him comfort, because, sadly, she feared he was right. Lily would have changed so much in the time that they had been away, and she felt such responsibility for that. She felt all the responsibility for that. Adam had missed time with his daughter that he could never get back.

"Adam, I am so terribly sorry," Susanna apologised emphatically. "This is all my fault."

Adam sucked in a deep breath, before returning his eyes to Susanna. "I was not expecting an apology, Susanna. I would ask for one if I wanted it. I am grieved today, but I know soon I will see my family again, and it will be alright."

"I don't know how to thank you, Adam," said Susanna helplessly.

Adam shook his head. "You have thanked me a hundred times already," he replied dismissively. "You needn't do it again."

"But what you have done for me, it is beyond anything that I could have expected. What you have given up for me is a higher price than I would have wanted you to pay."

Adam smiled suddenly, as though an amusing thought or memory had just popped into his mind. "Do you know, I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would endeavour to be the sort of eldest sibling that Grace is. Would Grace have done this for one of her siblings? For you?"

Susanna did not even have to think about it. "Of course, she would have."

"That's the end of it, then," replied Adam. "Yes, I have lost time with my family, with my children, and it saddens me deeply. But you are just as precious to me, Susanna. And what you care about is important to me."

Susanna knew that Adam meant it, but she still suspected that he was protecting her feelings, as he often did. This, missing time with Lily in particular, hurt him most grievously. Susanna prayed for a good wind to take them home that much faster. The sooner they returned to Ashwood, the better.

***

There was a favourable wind, and only ten days later did the party find themselves travelling by carriage through the gates of the Ashwood estate. As Susanna peered out the window, it suddenly felt like it had been years since she had been home, and not a matter of months.

The estate was in bloom, as springtime filled the gardens, and the perfume of the flowers was quick to permeate the small cabin of the carriage.

Susanna travelled with the ladies. Alex was in the carriage ahead, accompanied by Adam and his father, Captain Whitfield, who had asked permission to join them at Ashwood House for a short while.

Belle and Amélie were staring out the window in awe, remarking to each other in French their amazement at the view. One word in particular caught Susanna's attention.

"Le maître."

Master.

Of course, that was where their poor minds would go when they saw a house such as the grandiose one before them. Susanna's heart sank. "No," she told them sincerely. "No, no masters here. My brother is the duke. This is his land. But everyone who lives on it, works on it, walks by it, is cared for, and is paid a fair wage. They are cared for," she said again, "just as you shall be." Susanna repeated her sentiments in French to ensure that her message was received as she had meant it, and that nothing had been lost in translation.

The French was necessary for Amélie, who spoke no English, but Belle smiled, her golden eyes warming. "I understand," she replied in her heavily accented English. "No master."

"No master," confirmed Susanna.

Susanna watched as Belle's shoulders settled before she looked to the window once more.

When the carriage finally came to a stop, the door was opened for them and the step was let down by the driver. Susanna climbed out first and took it upon herself to assist Belle and Amélie as the driver seemed hesitant to offer the women his arm after aiding Susanna.

Susanna barely had time to blink before she saw her brother tearing up the stairs towards the front door of Ashwood House. He was not waiting to be a polite host, not when his wife and children were so near.

Alex appeared at Susanna's side, an expression of apprehension on his face. He was nervous and he was trying to control it, or at least hide it. "Are you happy to be home, wife?"

One last little game of their charade. "Yes, husband," replied Susanna, smiling reassuringly. "It will be alright." She looked up into Alex's dark eyes and willed him to have faith. Feeling her heart swell with affection for him, she was able to push away her own nerves. There would be many battles ahead, but it would be alright.

But Susanna knew their first battle was closer than ever, and her name was Cecily.

"Grace! Where is the duchess? GRACE!"

Susanna could hear her brother's cries for his wife from inside the foyer of Ashwood House. "Come along, everyone!" she urged. "Let us go in."

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Hope you enjoyed it!! We're home! 

I truly hope you all are safe in the world! I've felt very guilty for feeling annoyed and frustrated at our current situation when watching the news and seeing what the poor people of Afghanistan are going through. Everyone deserves the right to feel safe and free.

I've similarly been feeling so keenly for the people of Haiti after a devastating earthquake hit the island. Haiti has obviously featured very heavily in this story and so is close to my heart. 

If you are in a position to, please donate to reputable foundations that are supporting these two countries during this time xx 

I hope you are safe at home with your families and friends xx