"We met less than a week ago and in that time I've done nothing but lie and cheat and betray you. I know. But if you give me a chance...all I want is to protect you. To be near you. For as long as I'm able." Marissa Meyer, Scarlet

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X.

While Alex enjoyed English tea, their food, however, was often quite disappointing. It seemed that these people couldn't enjoy their meals unless every element was boiled beyond recognition and the cooks had never heard of any foreign herbs or spices.

Still, a boiled beef stew did satiate a hungry stomach, even if Alex did need to feed himself rather stiffly. For a brief moment, Alex was thankful that his only thoughts were on his food, and not on what he knew was inevitable.

How he had battled with his conscience in ways that he had never battled before, and in such a short amount of time as well. How quickly that woman had gotten under his skin. In no time at all, Susanna had shown herself to be a woman blessed with a big heart which was so open.

Alex had never felt conflict to this degree before. He had been so good at separating his actions from his conscience, convincing himself that the good outweighed the bad. Everything he did, and would do, was for the safety and future of his mother, and that made it alright. Or at least it had.

Alex knew that he would hate himself, forever hate himself, for injuring Susanna Beresford, and all he could do was hope and pray that her heart was big enough to heal. To heal and to forget that she had ever crossed paths with him.

Len had promised him. One last time. One last con and he was free. Alex would have all the money that he needed to take his mother away from their poverty in Haiti and establish themselves comfortably in the luxury they deserved after so many years of brutal, inhuman hardship.

Susanna would survive this. His mother wouldn't. Alex had not heard from her since he had left Haiti. Like him, she had never been afforded a basic education and so writing was impossible. All he had to go on was that his prayers each night were answered, and she would be right where he had left her when he finally found his way back to her.

Maybe, Alex thought sadly, maybe one day, after he had hired himself a tutor in order to learn, he would write a letter to Susanna explaining everything. He wondered if she would ever find it in her big heart to forgive him.

He could only hope that she would take heed of his words. He hoped that Susanna would protect herself.

Len barged into Alex's room without bothering to knock, wearing an all too pleased grin on his face. His eyes searched the room briefly before they settled on Alex at his little table. He quickly occupied the other chair.

"She rejected you, eh?" he challenged mockingly. "That was not the young lady I encountered today. Did she come here to see you?"

Alex knew that Len would have approached him with this sooner or later considering Susanna had mentioned running into Len in the park.

"Yes, she was here," confirmed Alex quietly.

Len let out a gleeful noise, one that Alex had certainly never heard before as he slapped Alex's forearm excitedly. It was an area which was certainly bruised, and Alex sucked in a hiss. Len ignored him, or simply did not notice. "Oh, oh, my friend," he said enthusiastically. "Oh, she is a sitting duck! Yours for the taking! The look on her face today, you should have seen it! I don't think I've ever seen a girl so besotted so soon! This is going to be easier than I thought!"

Alex could see in the depths of Len's eyes that he was already spending Susanna's money in his head. Len was not a clever man with his money. Not in the way that he made investments or thought of the future. He was a frivolous spender, and indulged in fine food, drink, and clothing. Len would enjoy his life in luxury until the last penny was spent. Alex often wondered how Len could remain so unaffected by what they did.

"She will be the last one," Alex reminded him, abandoning his spoon having just lost his appetite. "I won't do this again."

Len let out a scoff. "Haven't we already had this conversation? Yes, yes," he said disinterestedly. "She is the last one. Now, I have been thinking," he eagerly changed the subject, "on how best to seduce her. She seems very emotional – overly so. So very easy to manipulate when they are this way." He tsked, though he smiled. "I know you are very sensitive about your past as well, Alex," Len feigned a delicate tone, "but I do think if you tell her a few tales of the good old days –"

Alex's eyes narrowed and his teeth clenched. "Don't speak of it," he snarled. "Don't you dare suggest that I use what happened to me, to so many like me, as means to manipulate. That is vile, even for you." Alex had never spoken a word of what he had gone through in his youth, up until the day he was freed at twenty-one. For those with some semblance of experience on the subject, like Len, it was not hard to guess, but Len was not the sort of person that Alex would ever confide in.

The only real experience of Alex's that Len knew of for certain was purely because of the evidence on his back.

Alex could picture sitting with Susanna and telling her about what had happened to him. He had rather startling confidence in knowing that she would undoubtedly offer him understanding and compassion. But never, never would he try and manipulate her with such stories. If ever he uttered those words, he wanted them to be real.

Alex practically heard Len roll his eyes. "Fine," he snapped. "Forgive me for trying to make your job easier. Do what you will. Just do it quickly. We are ready to leave as soon as you can ride. Ashwood awaits."

***

Susanna was equal parts glad and saddened to see the streets of London passing her by as the Ashwood carriage carried them away from the city for another year.

She was glad because she had managed to escape marriage to any number of lecherous gentlemen. But she was sad to wonder at if she would ever meet Mr Whitfield again. Susanna never did have a chance to see him again between when she had visited him at the inn and their departing London that Wednesday morning.

"I know Lord Bertram turned out to be quite the slug," Cecily huffed from beside Susanna, "but you had many other suitors who would have been just fine had you not dismissed them so quickly. If only you have taken a little more time to know them before waving them away, you wouldn't be three and twenty and still unwed. Your father and I had been married some five or six years by the time I was your age. And I had two sons!"

Susanna wished her mother wouldn't use her marriage with Susanna's dear papa as an example of what she ought to aspire towards. While decent, good people individually, Susanna did not think she had ever encountered two people who were more unsuited. She could not recall a single moment from her parents' marriage in which they seemed to even genuinely like each other. Save for her compassion on Peregrine's deathbed, Cecily was quite example of what not to aspire to with regards to marriage.

"They were all one and the same," Susanna muttered for the hundredth time.

"I cannot believe that there was not one man you met with this summer who did not please you even a little," Cecily retorted impatiently.

But there was. If she concentrated, she could picture his eyes, as black as the moonless sky.

"If you are not careful, Susanna, I shall have Adam arrange something for you. If you will not listen to me, then I pray you will listen to him."

It was a useless threat. Susanna knew her brother would never force her.

The entire household stood outside of Ashwood House to greet Susanna and Cecily upon their return, with Adam, Grace, Perrie and Lily standing at the very front to welcome them home. Of course, Lily was not standing, but being held in Adam's arms.

"Do not you want that?" Cecily asked Susanna, motioning to Adam and Grace as a footman approached to open the carriage door.

"Yes, Mama," replied Susanna. "May I marry a servant?" Cecily had told Susanna that she wanted her to be happy.

"Your sense of humour never fails to tickle me, Susanna," replied Cecily dryly as the carriage door was opened and the step was let down.

Both ladies were assisted out of the carriage and Susanna hurried over to where Adam and Grace were waiting for them.

Susanna hugged Grace tightly and her brother kissed her cheek. Susanna kissed both of her nieces as Adam remarked, "Are we surprised you have come home unattached?"

"No," Susanna answered for him. "You would miss me too much. I know you could not do without me," she teased.

"I could do without you if you were suitably settled," muttered Cecily as she approached, ignoring Adam and Grace as her facial expression cheered upon seeing her granddaughters again. She immediately took Lily into her arms and held Perrie's hand as she walked them both towards the door of Ashwood Place.

"You know she teases," Grace murmured. "She would miss you more than anyone. I, for one, am selfishly glad you are returned. I would miss you terribly."

Susanna smiled at her friend gratefully, before her eyes moved to their household staff. Waiting beside the butler was Mrs Hayes, and she had an unmistakably pleased expression on her face. Susanna grinned and rushed over to her, throwing her arms around the woman who was once her nanny.

Mrs Hayes returned the affection warmly, and whispered, "Oh, I am so relieved, Susanna. None of those London gentlemen are good enough for you."

"Will you tell Mama that?" Susanna whispered in return.

Mrs Hayes chuckled. "When you make your choice, whomever he may be, you know I am on your side. So long as he isn't a pompous buffoon or a deceitful cad, of course. I raised you better than that."

Susanna's mind involuntarily returned to Mr Whitfield, seeing his beautiful face so clearly in her mind. "I know you did, Mrs Hayes. I would never think of a man like that." 

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Hope you enjoyed it!

Sorry it's a shorter chapter than normal. This is just where the chapter needed to end. You really don't have to wait very long for the sh*t to start hitting the fan in this one ... ;) Just forewarning you to keep your arms and legs inside this roller coaster at all times!

I spent the day cooking today. I made the most friggin delicious lamb and rosemary pies for dinner. I slow cooked the filling for 8 hours and then put them in pastry and I literally started filling out my MasterChef application because they were freaking bomb. I also made an apple pie but I was so full from dinner that I couldn't eat any dessert haha. 

Anything with pastry, I've discovered I've got a knack for. The best sausage rolls I've ever had are my homemade ones. My chicken pot pies are yum. Steak and veggie I haven't perfected yet but I will. 

But I hope you all had a nice Easter! I have so much chocolate it's ridiculous. Hope the Bunny was good to you all xx

Vote and comment xxx