XX. Fading Hope

            The day I was locked up was the last time I spoke to Halian. She did not come by to sneak in a visit or slip me extra food. It was not like I expected her to come by at some point every day, I wished it. The first day she did not appear, I thought nothing of it. The second day I tolerated it. But by the third, fourth, and fifth days, something told me something was not right with this. Surely by the third day Halian would not forget about me, being so invested in her investigation. She could not be that busy to forget about me.

            I feared the worst: the assassin knew Halian was on their trail, and they disposed of her before she could tell anyone the truth. If my worst fear was true, Halian was the assassin’s first official kill. It would be harder for the killer to hide their tracks after committing murder.

            This was all hypothetical of course, but I did not rule the possibility out.

            Today was day six of being lonely in the dungeons. If I remembered right, Halian wanted to clear my name by the wedding. She had said that almost a week ago. The wedding was to be tomorrow, I only knew that thanks to my memory. But if my fear was true, Halian had been out of time. I was out of time.

            Speaking of time, I was not given my punishment yet. What was the king waiting for? How hard of a decision was it? I swallowed, trying not to think of what would happen to me. There were a few ways the king could approach this: I could be tortured, executed, or even banished from Greenwood. There was no way I would be let off with a warning.

            Aside from receiving food, I was not visited by anyone. The loneliness was starting to get the better of me, and I often found myself daydreaming. Daydreaming could only help me escape this dungeon for so long.

            I was often tempted to take out my dagger and mess with it, but I knew better than to wield a weapon where a guard could see. They would seize it from me; I did not want that to happen.

            I tried to recall Minas Tirith and all of its white beauty. I tried to remember what Arwen looked like, how low and soothing her voice sounded. I truly missed the Queen of Gondor. I was surprised I even remembered her; it felt like a century had passed since I was rescued and brought to her city.

            I did not meet my visitor’s eye upon hearing their feet come my way. I did not speak a word to them; there was no reason to waste my breath. They would slip the food through and then vanish like they always did. I avoided their looks after two days, their eyes held nothing but contempt for me. I should have faced the guards’ stares, proving that I was not shaken by them. But I would only be lying to myself.

            “You are silent like the dead.”
            This Elf was the only exception to my ignoring-the-guards rule. My heart fluttered at seeing the Prince of Greenwood on the other side of the door. I was not surprised it took him so long to visit. I had begun to think he would not show at all.

            “I am being ignored now as well?”

            “Why should I waste my breath when I am sure you have only bad things to say?” I stared at the wall opposite me. “You would be no better than the guard your father has watching over me.”

            “I did not come to argue with you, I came with news.”

            “News?”

            “Your punishment if you want to be precise.”

            “Is tonight going to be my last? Will I not live to see you wed to Nikita?” I said sourly.

            “No, you will live. I cannot say the same about you lingering here, however.” This made me look at him suspiciously. “Today is your last here in this.” He touched the bars of my door. “Tomorrow you will be brought forth to my father and given your sentence.”

            “Exile.”

“How could you know?”

“Lucky guess. There are not many punishments that keep one alive. I am surprised I am not going to be executed.”

            “If anyone had been killed from the attacks, you would be.”

            “Still, an alive assassin is a threat to others.”

            “Father says you will be everyone else’s problem once you leave.”

            I rolled my eyes. “That sounds like a king to me, only caring about his kingdom and nothing outside of it. You also talk as though you believe I am the culprit behind these attacks.”

            “I am torn, Nimalia. I want to believe that you did not poison Nikita and my father, but the evidence is there, and it is pointing to you. It is with a heavy heart that I believe the evidence over you.”

            “I wish you had more faith in me, Legolas.” I wrung my hands slowly. “I thought our bond ensured that we would stand by each other, no matter what came our way.” I slid off the bench, feeling my limbs ache from lack of movement.

            “Neither of us could have predicted this. You know this.”

            I nodded solemnly. “I know there is nothing I can say to persuade you, because I have nothing solid to prove my innocence with.”

            “If you did commit the crimes, I hurt deeply. It would hurt me to know that all this time we got to know each other, you were putting on this façade to conceal your true nature.”

            I laughed wryly. “I can understand why you would believe I would have motives to try and kill those you love. With Nikita, you would think that I was jealous of her, when clearly I have told you that I would not interfere with your love. But, here is where things get interesting. What would it do me to try and murder your father, the King of Greenwood? What could I possibly gain?”

            “Infamy.”

            “Do I look like I have a dark heart, Legolas? What I have gone through may suggest I have some bit of darkness in me, but I am as pure as I can be. I have been honest with you since the time I met you in Minas Tirith. Believe what you will about me, but I know what is true. I cannot force you to believe me.” I found myself inching closer to the door. “All I ask is that, when I leave, try to remember me how you knew me best. Or, if you find it better for yourself, forget about me entirely. Let Nikita be the only elleth in your mind.”

            The corners of Legolas’ mouth twitched upward. “You are learning.”

            “I had a decent teacher.” I bit my lip, pondering whether or not to tell Legolas about Halian. But would he believe me? Would he think that Halian is an accomplice of mine, as ridiculous as that sounds? Maybe it was better to not bring her up. “She could have taught me a lot more.”

            “You will have to find a new teacher.”

            “I do not believe exile is a good choice for me. Your father is throwing me back into the wild, where the Men can hunt me down again.”

Legolas dipped his head down. “He believes you are working with them.”

“Your father is paranoid, extremely; these attacks have made him worse. Surely you cannot believe that I am in an alliance with them! You saw how the scout tried to kill us that time.” I swallowed.

“There are a lot of things I do not want to believe, but yet I do.”

“So I should take that as a yes?”

I received no answer.

I laughed wryly at Legolas. “For once you let your brain win over your heart.” I shook my head at him. “You chose the wrong thing to listen to when it was most crucial.”

It hurt, it truly did. I lost everyone: Halian was nowhere to be found, Nikita was never truly on my side, and now Legolas was against me. I was alone. None of the friends I had in other kingdoms could come rescue me. I would sooner find myself in the hands of the Men before any of the friends I had left.

I did not want to be found by them. They would not be welcoming me with open arms. They would bring me death.

 “Truthfully, I am terrified of exile,” I whispered. “I am not a navigator, I will wander the wild until I wilt and die. Surely your father will not banish me without a steed.”

“That is his plan.”

“No. I will fight your father until he gives me Thalias. I cannot leave without him. He will be heartbroken, and he would probably leave Greenwood and die trying to find me again.” My voice cracked.  

            Legolas was quiet for a long moment. “I will try and convince him to let you have the stallion.”

            I nodded, happy that at least he would try. He was my best bet at having Thalias by my side anyway. I doubted the king would grant the request if it came out of my mouth. “I do not want to be alone. I need a protector. I lost one, I cannot lose the other.”

            Legolas picked his head up at my comment. He knew what he meant to me. He was more than my protector. He was someone I could go to for comfort. Someone I knew who would listen and not judge me so quickly due to my whereabouts. Someone that I could see being in my life for all of eternity.

            Someone that I loved.

            But I would never get the chance to say it to him. It would mean nothing to him, he was with Nikita. To him, I was the assassin, though he was very unwilling to believe it. Though now would be the ideal time to confess it, I could not muster the courage. I could feel my heart cracking inside.

            With our conversation at an abrupt end, Legolas abandoned me. I stepped back from the cell door, glaring up at the cold, dark ceiling. I let the tears fall down my face. Even though the cell did not break me, everything else seemed to. Ever since I had been in the Men’s capture, my world had fallen on its head. Very recently, since I was rescued, my life was becoming right again. I felt like it had begun to find its silver lining.

            It did not look like it was going to come to me in this lifetime.

            It felt like things had not changed at all. I was back in the same corner I had been for most of my life: in the land of darkness, with barely a glimmer of hope.  

**Things are getting really brutal. You guys, we're nearing the end of the road on this story. Only a few chapters left, and by a few I mean five.**