The sounds around me were different than usual. After the nightmare I had, Doctor Gordon made sure I knew that it was the medicine that gave it to me. Not my mind. I knew he was lying, but I let him believe what he wanted to.

I didn't ask for my family to come see me, in fact, I preferred to keep them away.

I didn't want to disappoint them again. After everything I've put them through, it was too much to ask them to come see me.

I spent two more days in suicide watch, under the watchful eyes of Doctor Gordon. Then, he informed Doctor Hensley that my thoughts were clear of any harm to myself.

I didn't know how he knew this unless he read minds, but I was sent back to my regular room.

My thoughts weren't as pure as he led them to be, but as long as I was away from the pristine white rooms it didn't matter. I now knew that I hated the color white. The thought of the white walls made me want to vomit up the contents of my empty stomach. The burn of the stomach acid is much better than looking at the white walls.

My regular room now had a giant teddy bear in the corner, and several red cards on the side table. I picked one up and opened it.

It read:

Dear Aunt Raegan,
I hope you are feeling better. Mommy helped me write this and I'm so happy that she did. I hope to see you soon and you should bring us presents!
Love,
Anna

I smiled at the sweet note and giggled silently as I noticed the drawing on the side of the writing. It was me and Anna sitting together in a field of flowers. The thing that was funny was the way she had made a scar along my neck, for the scar I had, though she hasn't even seen me yet.

I placed the card down on the bed and grabbed the next one. This one read:

Dear Raegan,
I have missed you these four years and I'm sorry that you are going through this. If you need anything at all, let me know. I am very happy to help.
Love,
Grace

I was grateful that Grace was willing to help, even after all the stuff we've been through together. I placed her card wi th Anna's on the bed and grabbed at the next.

It read:

"Dear Aunt Raegan,
I love you and hope you get better.
Love,
George
P.S. you're still my favorite.

I huffed and smiled at the sweet card. He had drawn a car on the inside which had nothing to do with me.

I took a deep breath and sighed. I set aside the cards deciding I would finish them later.

I felt the yawn coming as I laid in bed. I curled myself into the covers and sleep take over.

I stood in an empty field, wind blowing everywhere. The flowers hit my feet as I looked down.

I was wearing a white dress and my feet were bare. I felt the cool ground between my toes as the wind blew harder. My dark brown hair whipped aggressively around me as if it had a mind of its own.

I took a deep breath and realized the smell of lavender was wafting in the air. Lavender wasn't one of the plants at my feet.

Lavender. The smell of my childhood. Why was I dreaming about it? Was it because of my innocence? What made my subconscious think of that?

I took another deep breath and almost choked at the amount of lavender that attacked my face.

I could hear someone calling my name, I turned around trying to find the voice.

"Raegan." I turned and there in front of me stood a man. I smiled at him and tried to pull him into a hug, but my hands went through him.

I tried to speak but pain inflamed my throat.

"Raegan, don't speak, but listen. Listen closely."

The wind blew slower so I could hear his voice clearer.

"Don't trust anyone. No one. They will betray you. Trust no one."

I tried to speak again, but still blames attacked my throat.

The wind picked up again as I heard his voice begin to fade.

"Trust - no - one."

Darkness took over.

Again, I woke with a start. Not because of the dream or The nightmare, whatever it was. It was because of the man.

The man that was my father. The man that is six feet under the ground buried in a mahogany casket. The man that raised me until the age of six when he died in a car crash.

I didn't know him well, but I still grieved. Still grieved for the things that other children could do with their fathers that I couldn't.

And now I'm seeing him in my dreams. Telling me not to trust people. What am I to believe?

What do I believe? Who am I not supposed to trust? I already knew that someone close to me, someone familiar is the one who took my voice. He's made me question everyone, everything I've ever known. I don't know what to do.

Do I trust the ones that are trustworthy, like Tanny, Raina and Roman? Or do I not?

Has everything just become a puzzle that I have to solve on my own?

What if someone could help me discover what happened that night, someone who could bring out the sights and sounds. Someone like a psychologist. Someone who could dig into my mind.

The idea came to me and I sat there on my bed wondering, can I relive that moment without hurting myself?

A knock at the door interuppted my train of thought. Doctor Hensley poked his head inside the room and I smiled at him.

I pulled the notepad close to myself and wrote can I ask you a favor?

Doctor Hensley simply nodded after I held the notepad up.

Can you get me a psychologist?