A/N 3115 WoRdS ^ THATS MY PICTURE IT'S GRIAN FROM MY AU BUT MUCH, MUCH HAPPIER THAN HE'LL EVERY BE BTW ^ Heyyyy! Chloe here, attempt!ng to wr!te another book! Let's see how !t goes! Also OMG MY FL!PPING W!F! !S GOING OUT EVERY THREE SECOND HELP MEEEEEE!!! Ok !'m fine now hehe. Angst ! guess? !dk and !dc about tr!gger warn!ngs, but ! guess there might be some tr!ggers? WeLp yOu'LL f!nD oUt—

  My first day at a new school! My parents said that we'd only be here for a little while, but it's a great opportunity to meet some new people! Plus, Taurtis will be there! I haven't seen him since I was 5, which was three years ago! I hope he still remembers me! Only two hours until we get to our hotel! I wonder what Tokyo looks like!

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  My mom wanted the place to have three bathrooms, for her makeup and hairdryers and stuff like that, so we just rented one of the moderate sized houses! My mom and dad sleep in both the bedrooms, and my brother is sleeping on the couch, doubling as a pullout bed, which leaves me to either sleep on the carpet, or the basement floor.

 Never mind. My brother said he doesn't want to see my face any longer than he has to, so my dad pushed me into the basement and locked the door.

  It's really dark and I think my knee is bleeding, as well as my elbow. I used a bandaid from my backpack that my mom let me have, and a flashlight to light the area around myself. I had packed it in case of a zombie apocalypse, and I mean, you can never be too careful.

  The other contents of my bag were: iPad, headphones, notebook, pencil, water bottle, small bag of Doritos, wolf stuffed animal, pack of gum, and a few changes of clothes. Other than a couple chargers and batteries that I know my parents would steal, there was really nothing else in there that would be super useful.

  Other than being dark, the basement was also extremely cold. I looked around and noticed a window. It appeared to be open, so I attempted to reach it and close it, but, alas, it was too high up to do anything about it. I decided to just play Minecraft on my iPad until it died, and maybe then, I could be let out of 'my room'. 

  After a few hours, my iPad died and so I decided to look around for any electrical outlets to recharge it. I stood up and noticed it had started raining. The upstairs and ground level floors were water proof, but unfortunately, due to the open window that was right above the ground, peeking out from the depths, it led all the runoff water from the gutter straight into the basement.

  I picked up my bag and looked for some other place to rest while the water flooded the once dusty, cement flooring. I thought about sitting on the stairs, but then decided against it, as that would probably end up with me being pushed off of them, either awake or asleep by my brother.  

  It would hurt, but it would hurt much worse if I made any noise, as I would be punished quite a bit by my dad, who made me vow to never speak again, since my voice was annoying and squeaky. No one should have to listen or look at me, so being in the basement is probably a good place for me.

  Another reason why they hate it when I speak is because I was born in England, when my parents stayed there for a trip, ending up in living there for a while, which in turn, caused myself to have an accent, and not my family.

  The water was now just below my knees, which wasn't a lot, since I was short. My dad hates that and says I should be tall, like my brother. He says that my brother is the perfect role model, and he shouldn't be around a waste of space like me, or else he might become like some other nobody that no one likes or thinks good about. 

  I wish I could be my brother. He's so cool and has so many friends. My parents also love him, and I'd do anything for even the slightest bit of affection from them. But I just mess everything up and ruin everything.

   I seriously messed up my brothers birthday because he tripped me, and even though I hit my head on the corner of the table, knocking myself unconscious, I fell and hit one of his many, and might I add deserving, unlike myself, presents.

  If I wasn't so light, I could of dented the corner, but since I don't get many things to eat, like maybe one snack a day, and that was if my mom was in a good mood. I shouldn't deserve it anyway, so I sometimes turn it down. 

  Weirdly, I'm really picky, and with most foods I just throw it back up, so almost always, if I get food, I can't even eat it. One food that I do like is Doritos, nacho cheese flavoured, just like the one in my backpack.

  I snap out of my thoughts and realise that the water is getting abnormally high, as it is now above my waist. I start panicking, and just another reason why I hate myself, is because I hate water. I can swim, it's just no matter what, I sink. I have nightmares about drowning, but then again, I have quite a bit of nightmares, so it's just one blade of grass in a field.

  I frantically search for any other option of high ground, last resorting the stairs. The water was excruciatingly cold, soaking my clothes and chilling my already shaking body. Nothing else lye in the basement, so, of course, I had to sleep on the stairs. I was short and quite skinny, so I could fit my body on one, but that's not what I was worried about.

  As I described earlier, my brother has a tendency to trip over me, and when he does, it really hurts. I think he just calls it tripping, but he actually kicks me really hard when I'm asleep. I usually go tumbling across the floor, awaking with a start, and bite my lip so I don't make a sound. He usually laughs or does it again, but if it makes him happy, I guess it's a good thing?

  So the stairs will have to do. I'm still exited about the new school, but the rain has dampened my mood, figuratively and literally. I'll be going to fourth grade, which is a little bit old for me, but most of my teachers say that I'm pretty good at reading and science, and that I'm incredible at math, but I think they just say that because I can't even learn right. Even though I get straight A's, it's probably just fake so I don't flunk and become even more of a mess up than I already am.

  The stairs aren't as bad as I thought, so I curl up on one, and try to sleep. It took a while, but I finally drifted off and into my scheduled nightmare. To sum it up, I ruined my moms, dads, and brothers life, and started yelling at me, telling me the painful but truthful words, much recited in my head, describing how useless, ugly, dumb, weak, stupid, really, the list could go on. I mean, it's not that hard to think of some bad thing to describe me with.

  While I was in dream land, my brother- I should tell you his name, I'm so stupid. His name is Aiden, he's 13, 147lbs, and 5 foot 4 inches tall. He had dark brown, almost black hair, brown eyes, and is wearing a sports jersey and boxers.

  I'm Grian, I'm 8 years old, 36lbs, and 4 foot 4 inches tall, so he is a whole foot taller than me, and over 100lbs heavier. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and a red sweater with a white collared tee shirt underneath, and black ripped jeans (They didn't come ripped). 

  So ya, short description of Aiden and I, but anyways, Aiden opened the basement door to 'trip' over me on the stairs, but he got distracted by the huge pool of water that resided from the previous night.

  He ran down the stairs, two at a time, and instead of taking the time to pause and figure out a way to push me down the stairs, he made sure to step on my hand, and jumped the rest of the stairs and into the water below. 

  My dad followed close behind, and saw Aiden swim around, laughing, and then switched his gaze to me. His smile instantly turned into a frown apon looking at my face. He made sure to finish the job and kicked me square in the back, knocking the wind out of me. 

  I fell forward, tumbling towards the dirty rain water, and banged my head on the metal railing, in turn, yelping in pain, and instantly biting my lip.

  My dad, satisfied, switched his gaze back to Aiden, then ran upstairs to check his phone for the school schedule.  Thankfully he hadn't heard me, and neither did Aiden, who was swimming just below the surface, pretending to be Jaws. After a while, Aiden got bored, so he got out of the water, easily picked me up, and threw me into it. 

  It had stopped raining, but the water resided up to Aiden's chest, which was much too deep for me. I hit the ice cold water, remembering the shock that you first receive when fully submerged. The first thing I though was 'MY BACKPACK!!!'. It was getting soaked! iPads can't survive water for long! Neither can headphones!

  The second thing that popped into my mind was 'Oh wait I need air. OH WAIT I NEED AIR! HELP!', but alas, I couldn't speak any of this, as I was officially drowning. I tried pushing off the ground, and through trial and error, I broke the surface, gasping for air. My brother was laughing, along with my dad, who had ran back down when Aiden called him, saying that I was drowning, and that it was really funny to see, and was carrying a camo Boy Scouts backpack, which, I'm guessing, is Aiden's new bag for school. 

  I started sinking yet again, as if the drowned had come to grab me and pull myself under, and down, into the depths. It was probably only five or six feet of water, but it didn't matter, as it was too much for me. I finally reached the stairs, but was yet again, booted off and into the depths yet again by my brother.

   I didn't go as far, as he didn't try, but the cold was sinking in, causing my body to tremble yet again. My dad turned, still smiling, and looked at Aiden, saying "That's pretty funny sport, but don't kill your brother yet. If he's dead, who will we hate, hurt, and torture?" He says things like that as a joke, but he means it. He ran back up, yet again, to get the car ready to drive Aiden to school.

  My brother turned and saw me coming to a stand on the half submerged stair, and apon seeing my shaking body, said "Oh are you scared, wittle baby? Are you gonna go and run away and cry?" He then laughed, glared, and turned to follow my dad up the stairs, shouting "COMING DAAAAAD!!!" 

  I took off my red sweater, as it was now around 10 pounds heavier, which was quite heavy, and if you compared myself to 3 wet red sweaters, it would come out about as equal, both weight, and worthlessness. 

  I sat my backpack down on the stair above, and opened it. As expected, everything was soaked. My notebook was disintegrated into a pile of mush, my headphones thankfully still worked, but the worst thing was my iPad. 

  It had lived so long, through tears, pain, and suffering, it had survived my brother chucking it out the window, it had survived the time he stepped on it, and it lived through the time he threw a rock at me, but it hit my iPad instead. It saved me, and was really my only friend, other than a little wolf stuffed animal I named Dacota. 

  My brother ripped his leg off, and around the same time, I got twelve stitches on my leg. Long ago, I decided to ask my mom, since she was quite a bit nicer than she is now, to sow his leg back on. She said she would, and I never saw him again. That was until I found him on the floor next to our dog's bed. Our dog thankfully didn't rip him up, and surprisingly, my mom actually did sow him, but I think she only did it for the dog.

  I never really knew our old dog, as he died when I was 3. They never got a new one, and even though I get a cold every time I'm around dogs or cats, when I'm older, I want to get a husky and name it Dacota, after my stuffed animal version.

  I stopped daydreaming about the future, and focused on the present. I had to go to school! I took one look at my backpack and reality hit me. I had nothing dry to wear to school. I either had to go there soaking wet and shivering, or somehow stay home. 

  My dad yelled out "GRIANNN AND AIDENNNN, COME GET YOUR UNIFORM!!!" That was when I remembered. Our school had uniforms! I could wear that, and it came with matching shoes too! I run up the stairs and open the door, squinting at the sheer brightness of the ground floor. 

  Sunlight was streaming in through the windows and I saw Aiden eating chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream, chocolate drizzle, and powdered sugar on top. My stomach rumbled from the total lack of food the past couple days, but I pushed that thought away and ran upstairs to grab my uniform. 

  My mom was upstairs, along with my dad, who was pulling mine and Aidens uniforms out of a plastic casing with the school label on it. He grabbed mine and threw it at me, and I caught it before it hit me.

  I hoped that he saw and might say something like "Good catch, sport!", like he would with Aiden, but instead, he turned and said "Tryna be cool, huh? You know you'll always be nothing, right? I mean, it is a pretty well known fact, and even if you didn't know, you could easily tell by just looking at you. I mean, how do you even look in the mirror? I'm surprised the glass doesn't shatter it's self when it sees an ugly, stupid, skinny, freak like you."

  I just walk back down the stairs, uniform in hand, looking at the floor. Everything he said was true, but it still hurts. I wish I wasn't the complete and total piece of trash I truly am. I wish that I could be like Aiden. I wish my parents could like me. I wish that....no. Wishes are stupid, just like I am. Nothing can fix that, I just have to deal with it.

  I go to the bathroom, change and look in the mirror. Oh man, he described me perfectly, I thought, and looked down right away, before the mirror might crack, and shatter into a million pieces, like my iPad once had. 

  I grabbed a hair brush and brushed my messy blonde hair, until it looked okay. I looked back at the ground and walked out, hoping my brother wouldn't see me. I grabbed my soaking wet back pack, which was now just a really damp backpack, as I had left it outside to dry.

 My dad started the car and called out for Aiden, who wore the uniform pants, but he still had on his previous day jersey. His buzz cut dark hair, funnily enough, had an 'A' on the back, and my parents thinks it's cool, but that's one thing I don't understand. Why would you want a letter on the back of your head?Maybe it's just because mess up's like myself can't understand what perfect people do to be cool. 

My hair was still annoyingly drippy, but it was drying pretty fast, so it should be fine before I get to school, especially if it's far away, and sprinting a long distance could dry my hair even faster.

  Aiden walked in the car and I stood in the lawn watching them drive away. Once they turned down the road, I sprinted in their direction, staying far away enough to not be seen, but also not too far as to be lost. I didn't know where the school was, but I'm guessing it was far. Better start running, or else I'll be lost all day.

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  The school was around 6 miles away, and it took around half an hour to get there, so I was exhausted once I did. I am a fast runner, and can run for a while, but that's just about the only thing I'm good at. I like drawing, but dad says it's stupid, dumb, and wimpy, as am I, but I like it. Probably explains why no one likes me. 

  The school is huge! It looks like 4 stories, and has a huge court out front! I wonder where Taurtis is! His birthday was coming up, and I want to get him something really cool! He's turning 10, which is crazy! 

  I'm turning 9 soon, but I hate my birthday. It's the day I ruined my family's life, and I wish it never happened. I mean, no one really remembers my birthday, so I don't have to suffer through knowing what I've done every year, but still, I like other peoples birthdays! It's fun to see other people happy, as long as it's not me, because my dad would get mad, and it would ruin his mood, and that would be mean of me.

  I need to stop daydreaming about things. It's stupid, just like everything I do. No matter how many times I say it, it would and could never be enough. I'm a stupid, dumb, skinny, ugly freak that deserves nothing, and no one can change my mind to thinking anything wrong. But then again, who would even want to talk to me? That's probably why I have no friends.

  Well, I'm now walking up the steps to the massive school, so wish me luck!

  Ok ya, angst. Well, hApPy eAsTeR! sEe yA LaTeR! 🐣 —

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