You would never know I was falling
If I hadn't told you
I held you close
You pushed me away

When I said I loved you,
There was a hatred in your eyes,
A simmering resentment,
That left the words lodged in my throat

The vacancy in your eyes
When the words left your mouth
Left me speechless
But it hurt less
Knowing you were never truly there
Knowing you never cared

I would find you again someday
That much I knew

Just never knew you would be dead
Painted in black and blue.
The memories came flooding back
Those that left me red and blue
Kept me alive
Even as I stumbled through

You dismissive reassurance,
Your coddling hits
Kept me away
Pulled me close
Only to leave me
Tired and alone.

So as I stand on your grave,
I remember
The words you once told me,
Now unsaid
I love you was sorry
I'm back in my head.