Axel Reed is in my room, I think to myself faintly as I open the door to admit the boy. My mind reels with the almost-familiarity of the scene and the three-note knock Axel used to notify me of his presence. It's strange how, all this time later, I still remember the sound of that knock. In the past, it had meant the boy was coming over to my house to hang out. In the past, it had made excitement split through me. I'm not sure what feeling the knock warrants now.

"Wow, this room is like the mirror image of mine," Axel muses as he steps over the threshold, an amused smirk curling his lip. "Everything seems like it's out of place."

"Yeah, well..." I mumble. I shrug, unsure where I was going with the sentence. "Welcome to my room, I guess."

"Just like when we were kids, huh?"

I stare at the boy for a moment, as if waiting for him to wake up and realize that nothing is the same between us. He just continues to smirk at me, quirking an eyebrow when I don't respond immediately. "Yeah. Just like it."

Axel opens his mouth as if to say something else, but quickly clamps his jaw closed as he looks past me. "Oh. My. God. Is that a kitty?"

I follow his gaze. Hazard sits atop the hotel bed, staring at Axel with wide yellow eyes. I wasn't expecting company tonight, either, I silently assure him, chuckling at the bewilderment on the cat's face. As Axel steps closer, his hand outstretched to greet him, the cat leaps off of the bed and trots away, wary.

"Hazard's not so sure about new people," I state with a shrug. "He really only knows me and my friend. It takes a bit before he's comfortable."

"His name is Hazard?" Axel squeals. "That's adorable, honestly." I nearly snort at the suddenly high pitch of his voice, not having expected it out of someone wearing so much leather.

"Have a soft spot for cats, huh? I would have thought you were more of a dog person."

"I don't like to pick sides," he replies with a grin, watching Hazard duck into the bathroom. "I think I used to be more of a dog person, though. Never really understood cats, but... They've grown on me, I think."

I hum thoughtfully. "I've always been a cat person."

"Let me guess: you don't like the slobber."

I shake my head. "Cats have a backbone and understand personal space. Dogs will bend over backward to get your attention. It's cats I can respect." I raise a hand to inspect my fingernails, feeling awkward in the sudden silence between us. "But, I mean, I doubt anyone likes the slobber." I add after a moment.

Axel nods, chuckling softly. He doesn't say more, but sinks hesitantly onto the foot of the bed after I sit down. I cross my arms over my chest. I'd already changed out of my binder for the day, not expecting to interact with anyone else before I went to bed.

"So," Axel drawls after a moment, "Do you want to play truth or dare?"

A surprised laugh slips past my lips. "Truth or dare? What is this, a slumber party?"

He shrugs. "Two things: one, truth or dare is more than a childish sleepover game; two, that's not an answer."

I let out a breath, my bangs fluttering up. "I mean... I guess we can play."

"Perfect. Truth or dare?"

"Seriously, I have to go first?"

"Alright, nerd, I'll go first."

Rolling my eyes, I pull my knees up to my chest and turn to face him. "Okay. Truth or dare?"

Axel taps at his chin, as if the question requires serious thought. "Hmm. I'll start off easy, I guess. Truth."

"Um, alright." I absently chew the inside of my cheek, considering what to ask him. Starting off easy, he said... "Uh, what's your favorite color?"

The boy snorts out a laugh. "What kind of question is that?"

"You said you wanted to start off easy," I sputter defensively. "I'm not going to just ask you about your deepest secrets right off the bat."

"Ah, but that question will be coming," he muses with a chuckle. "Anyway. My favorite color is red."

"Could have assumed that from the hair, I guess."

"That's pure coincidence. I've dyed my hair so many colors over the years. It just happens to match my answer right now." He tugs at a faded lock. "What's your favorite color?"

"Green."

"Should've figured. You've got Princess and the Frog on the brain."

A hesitant smile tugs at my lips. "Guess so."

"Alright, now it's your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Axel studies me for a moment, pensive, before leaning back with a smirk. "What's your biggest fear?"

"I thought we were starting off easy!"

The boy just flashes me a grin.

Groaning, I pluck at a loose thread on the comforter beneath us. "Ugh, I don't know... Death?"

"Come on, the 'truth' in 'truth or dare' means truth."

"You just said the word 'truth' so many times that I'm not even sure what you're saying at this point." I mutter, rolling my eyes. I let out a sigh. What even is my biggest fear? "People never seeing me as me, I guess. Or, I don't know, dying and having the wrong name written on my tombstone, so everyone forever remembers me as someone I'm not. I guess not being remembered would be just as bad."

"Deep," Axel hums. "That would suck."

"Yeah, I bet you'd hate that. You love getting attention. The thought of your thousands upon thousands of fans not remembering your name... Ouch."

The boy visibly stiffens at the words, though I see the smirk he pastes onto his face just as quickly. "Well, I doubt it'll ever happen. As you said, I've got thousands of fans."

"No need to flex that on me," I mutter. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What made you change your mind about cats?"

Axel chuckles, the mixture of amusement and confusion on his face a clear indicator that he hadn't expected the question. "I mean... It's as you said, really. Cats value their independence. They value respect, and you have to match their vibe to get along with them. I guess I've always liked dogs because they're easy to get along with. They want to spend time with you, as much as you'll allow it. Maybe it's because I enjoy the challenge cats provide, or just because I'm beginning to understand their reasoning." When I don't respond, he shrugs. "But, yeah. That's the gist of it, I guess. So... Truth or dare?"

"I'll do another truth."

"This is really just me catching up, because it's been so long, but... What's your job? Like, what career do you have?"

My eyebrows lift. "Oh. Uh... I'm a copy editor for an insurance company."

"Huh."

"What? You asked what job I have, and I—"

"I just thought... I don't know. I thought you'd be doing something more creative. Didn't you want to be an author when you were younger? I know you always liked writing."

I'm almost surprised he remembered that. I shrug. "Not all of us can make it to the top. And with all that happened in high school... I figured it was best to lay low. I don't need my face out there any more than necessary. Publicity has never been my thing, and even if I was able to make it as an author... I don't think I could deal with the hate that would come with it."

"Fair enough," Axel murmurs. "It's just a little strange to me that you'd demote yourself to such a boring job like that."

"It's fine. It's not like I can do a whole lot with my English degree, anyway. I'm lucky enough as it is to have a job that pays enough to afford my rent." I shake off the tendril of regret that swims in my gut. "Whatever. Truth or dare?"

I try to ignore the almost-pitying way Axel eyes me as he answers, "Truth."

"What are your future plans with your band? You guys just finished a tour, so clearly you're doing well."

"Yeah... Ha." The unexpected bitterness in his tone makes me glance up, eyebrows raised. "I'm sworn to tell the truth in this game, so I have to say that it's, uh... Not that great, actually. We don't really have any future plans, and all of the songwriting has kind of been hinged on me... Except, apparently I'm getting replaced in that regard, so... Yeah. Not great."

"Really?" I manage a bewildered grin. "You're Axel Reed, pretty much any music-lover's celebrity crush. You've got an entire fanbase waxing poetic about you. And your band is... Firing you?"

"Well, that's not quite how it works," he responds with a shrug. "There's no official 'job' since I'm not on a monthly payroll or anything, but... I guess the band has decided they might want to move on without me, if I don't prove my worth to them."

"Jeez, man."

Axel bites his lip, letting out a bark of a laugh. "Yeah. It's a lot. I'm not even sure why I'm telling you this, but... Not like I have anyone else to go to about it. Who is there to tell? My bandmates, who are the ones threatening to kick me out of the band? My mom, who thinks I'm dumb because I dropped out of college? Not a whole lot of options."

Unsure what to say, I simply nod, chewing on the inside of my lip. "That sounds... Not fun."

"That about sums it up," he agrees quietly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to dump all of that on you. But it's truth or dare! The game that reveals all the secrets. Anyway. It's, uh, your turn."

"I'll do another truth, I guess."

Axel meets my eye, contemplative. "Why did we stop being friends?"

Something cold and buzzing drops down my spine—shock that Axel went so far as to ask the question I was expecting to hear sooner or later, maybe, or dread that the time had finally come to answer it. I run a hand through my hair, struggling to piece together my scattered thoughts. "Um."

"And I want the real answer," Axel clarifies after a moment, his blue eyes still on mine. "You've been treating me like I'm an asshole, and... Maybe I deserve it, but I need to know why."

You don't remember? A part of me wants to scream. Why should I have to explain it to you?

"It was, um... Senior year, I think. When you started up your band..." I begin slowly, thinking my way through the words as I speak. It's hard to say them without conjuring the memories linked to them. "You were a different person around your bandmates. You were suddenly their friend, and not mine... You cast me aside, at least in my eyes, but it was more than that.

"Your bandmates were jerks to me when I came out. Calling me slurs, threatening me, passing me notes... Those guys were a whole package of transphobia. And when you joined the band with them, it's like you sucked up some of it. I don't know if you ever blatantly did anything, but you never ever tried to do anything to get them to stop."

I take a breath. "And, whatever, I was used to it and I let it slide, because I didn't want to lose you over something so stupid. But, when you guys performed at the talent show at the end of the year..." I swallow, the memory leaping unbidden to the forefront of my mind.

◦✭◦

The auditorium was decked out in garish gold and red streamers—the school colors of East Bridge High School. Volunteers hurried to get a drum kit adjusted for the boy who sat atop it, while the show's host—a grinning, blond-haired senior named Ryan—stepped to the front of the stage to announce the next act.

"Making their official debut for us tonight, let's welcome The Kissing Teeth!"

A chorus of cheers came up from the audience, the building practically vibrating with excitement as the band members stepped out from backstage. I grinned, clapping eagerly as Axel waved to the crowd.

The boy shouldered a gleaming electric guitar, taking a moment to fix the instrument's strap before stepping up to one of the microphone stands. 

"Hello, East Bridge!" Axel greeted with a laugh. "Funnily enough, we've performed around town, but never at our own high school. Wow. Good thing we're fixing that now."

As the audience rumbled with laughter and excited hoots, the boy brushed his newly-blue-streaked hair from his face. "I'm sure you already know us, but just in case... I'm Axel Reed. On the drums, we have Cliff McIntyre. On bass, we have Gavin Kramer. And, on rhythm guitar, Theodore Walsh! Together, we are The Kissing Teeth!"

Axel let the applause die down before approaching the microphone again. "Now, before we begin, I promised Cliff he could get a word in. It'll be brief, don't worry!"

The audience fell silent as the boy with dirty blond hair stood from the drum kit and wandered toward the microphone. "As already mentioned, I'm Cliff." He grinned. "Anyway, I just wanted to dedicate this song to a very special person who's here tonight." A collective 'ooh' came up from the audience. Cliff gripped the microphone in both hands, stepping closer and dropping his voice lower. "She's actually a very special lady friend of ours. Or, well... I don't even know. I thought she was; we all thought she was. And, I mean... She's still a lady where it matters, if you know what I mean. Can't change the biology."

Dread pooled in my stomach as the surrounding audience members chuckled along with his words. I knew where this was going.

"Elaine Hoffman, if you're in the audience tonight, stand up so we can see you!"

Shit. I shrank lower in my seat, fixing my gaze on the back of the chair in front of me as a dozen sets of eyes flitted my way. I didn't need to rise for everyone to know exactly who Cliff was talking about. 

"Axel wanted to dedicate this song to her tonight. The man's got something of a crush on her, from what I can tell. Or, is it a him? I don't know, Axel, are you gay?"

As Cliff turned to face him, Axel laughed. While he wasn't close enough to a microphone to hear his words, I could see the shape of them on his lips as he answered, "I'm not gay."

"Good to know, man. Anyway, this song goes out to Elaine! If you see her, make sure you let her know how much The Kissing Teeth loves her. Now, let's get this show started! Five, six, seven, eight!"

◦✭◦

So caught up in the memory, it takes a moment for me to realize I relayed the entire story to the wide-eyed boy sitting beside me. I fall silent as I await Axel's reaction.

"Shit, dude." The boy whispers, shaking his head. I watch his lips twitch, as if he's instinctively attempting to paste on a smirk. He only manages a grimace. "I... I kind of remembered that, but I hadn't realized... Damn."

"So, yeah. It was bad enough that my best friend had become a full-on transphobe, but the fact that you guys decided to publicly announce it..." I mutter, my gaze dropping to the bed beneath us. "I was outed to the entire school—to those who hadn't already figured it out, at least. I was made an easy target, the bullying increased like crazy..." I trail off with a shrug.

When I let my eyes drift hesitantly back toward Axel, I notice that his gaze has gone distant. His jaw is clenched, his hands balled into fists in his lap. 

"Those guys are jerks," he replies after a moment, still not meeting my eye. "I never should have..." He lets out a breath. "I'm so, so sorry. I never intended to hurt you, never wanted any of that to happen. I've always thought of you as a boy, as Nikolas, but... When I joined the band, it became so much about popularity that I felt like I had to go along with everything the other guys said to maintain our image.

"I didn't realize it until a few months in that everyone, especially Cliff... They're total assholes. But I went along with it, and I let all of that happen, and wow, Nik, I'm so sorry."

Nik. I suck in a breath, going still. Axel was the first person I came out to, long before my parents—and I hadn't known Yasmin at the time. He had asked what name I wanted to go by, and I'd told him Nikolas. 

"Can I call you Nik?" He'd asked. 

Part of me wants to slap him across the face for letting the nickname slip out now. 

"I don't expect you to forgive me," he adds after a moment, noticing my silence. "Hearing it from your perspective, what you had to deal with..." Axel shakes his head. "I do want to clarify, though, that none of that was me. It was always Cliff doing that dumb, horrible shit. He asked me if he could introduce our song at the talent show, and I didn't... I didn't think he would do something like that. And when he put the attention on me, asked me in front of the entire audience if I was gay..." 

"Your image was at risk," I answer for him. "Being associated with the trans kid is one thing, but if the school thought you were gay, you'd lose your popularity. I get it."

"It was stupid of me to put my image above our friendship," Axel hisses, his voice so full of emotion that I find myself meeting his eye. "It was so, so stupid. I'll probably say this a thousand times, but I'm really, really sorry. I doubt things will ever go back to normal between us, and I'm not sure I even deserve your forgiveness, but I just want you to know that."

I stare at Axel, trying to read his expression. I've never been good at identifying what someone is thinking, but Axel seems... Genuine. He's watching me with a severity I've rarely seen from anyone. Concern, guilt, regret... All of those and more are written clearly across his features. I swear I see the glimmer of tears pooling in his eyes.

It's not his fault, a voice in my mind reasons. At least, not as much as you thought before. He was a bystander, he let it happen... But he wasn't the cause. 

"Okay." I whisper.

"Okay?"

"I... I appreciate your apology. It means a lot to me," I continue, however hesitantly. "I don't know if I forgive you yet, but... I'm willing to move past it. I'm willing to try."

A soft smile leaps to Axel's lips. "That's probably more than I deserve."

I chuckle. "Yeah, well... I've never been one to hold grudges." Except for this one, which I've held for years now. But I don't feel the need to say the words aloud. "So... Want to continue the game?"

"Oh, are we still playing?" He raises an eyebrow. "I think I've forgotten whose turn it is."

"Um... I don't know. My turn, maybe?"

"Alright," Axel replies, a smirk tugging at his lips. "What'll it be, Nikolas: truth or dare?"

"I mean, I think I've already revealed all of my truths," I mumble with a shaky laugh. "I guess I'll go with dare? Please don't make me regret this."

Axel's smirk widens into a toothy grin. "Don't worry, I'll make this a good one." He hums thoughtfully, staring off into space as he considers his answer. "I dare you, Nikolas Hoffman, to jump into the ocean in the middle of the night."

My eyes widen, a bewildered smile on my lips. "What?"

"You heard me."

"But it's already the middle of the night."

"Well then, you'd better go put on your swimsuit. Looks like we're taking a field trip."