A/N:  A lot of typos and grammatical errors. Please bear with me.
Accepting constructive criticism not bullshits.
( Read at your own risk ). Happy reading :-).

Growing up I thought that life is easy as you live on it but, I'm wrong. Along the way, life sucks, and that's the truth. Along the way, you will experience problems, disappointments, rejections, anxiety, depression, and even heartaches and pains.

Growing up, I'm dreaming of having an ideal family. A family that supports you in everything and is proud of what you have become. But guess I, it is just a dream and does not exist in real life.

Second. The word that I hated the most. This word reminds me of how I will always be the second in everything. I will always be the second option in their lives.

It always reminds me that I am not should be the first because there is someone who needs much care and attention.

Whenever I ask that I need them, there are not always available and a lot of excuses. I understand, as we mature the responsibilities that we face and shouldered are much greater now than before. But I just need someone to listen and remind me I should keep moving forward.

I've got to question myself and my worth as a person. I've doubted myself that something wrong with me.

I pour myself into them, hoping to notice that I am here waiting to be acknowledged.

Binigay ko lahat para sa kanila dahil mahal ko sila. Pero hindi ko namalayan na unti- unti na palang akong nauubos.

Masakit dahil hindi nila alam na nahihirapan at nasasaktan din ako. It feels like I'm trash that they dumped.

Until now I couldn't forget how the people that I love the most treated me. There are the people that I expect to protect, support, and love me for who I am. But it didn't happen.

There are the people that I need the most when I am at my lowest. They are the people whom I'm rooting for.

Sa kabila ng sakit at paghihirap na binigay nila sa akin umaasa ako na hindi nila ako iiwan. Pero lahat sila tinalikuran ako sa panahon na kailangan ko sila dahil ubos na ubos na ako. Akala ko lahat sila nakasuporta pero sinaktan at niloko lang ako.

Having someone who is always there for you is beautiful. But, sometimes it is much better only to be alone because they will just hurt and broke you into pieces.

In the end, I only have myself longing for love and support from everything.