Tim woke to Caroline standing near the open window, a warm gentle breeze flowing through. He walked over, sliding his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder. She leaned her head into his.

"Can you ever forgive me" he whispered.

"Of course" she replied quietly as she turned to look at him, his dark eyes filled with sadness. He kissed her softly, then pulled her close.

"I'm sorry I left you here, alone" he told her "that was selfish of me. "

"I understand why you left. I have to admit it hurt watching you leave, but I know I hurt you too" she told him.

They stood together, their eyes locked.  "Can I explain why" she asked softly.

"Please, I dont understand and I'm scared" he told her, his voice cracking a bit.

Caroline led Tim to the bed to sit. He sat up against the headboard while she leaned her back into his chest, wrapping herself with his arms. "I'm scared too" she began "but right now more of what the treatments could do to me, do to us." Tim listened intently while she explained her fear for any chemo or radiation and the side effects that comes along with it. "I don't want you to have to deal with it, with me in a constant state of vomiting, weakness. Days of infusions and uncertainty. It wouldn't be fair"

"It wouldn't bother me, I can handle that. I can take care of you, I will take care of you" he tried to reassure her.

" I would become a shell of a person...no hair, weight loss, weakness, not to mention emotional changes" she replied.

"That doesn't matter to me, Caroline.  I wouldn't love you any less" he said as he tightened his arms around her.

"And then there is the alternative, the surgery. I can't Tim...I just can't do that" she trailed off as she began to cry. "You heard what the doctor said...I could loose all function, all memory...I don't want to forget you, our life.....I just can't" she began to sob.

Tim began to cry as well. The surgery was one of the treatments he feared the most. At least with the chemo and radiation, it would be temporary, there could be an almost guaranteed recovery. But not with the surgery, even though the doctor was the top neurosurgeon in the country, he still couldn't guarantee that she would be the same when it was completed.

"That's why I decided against everything. I was going to explain all that yesterday..." she told him, wiping her eyes "I want to focus on you, on us and our life together. Not dwell on this monster in my head".

"Are you against everything?" he asked.

"What do you mean" she replied, turning towards him.

"What if you tried the radiation alone? He did say that could possibly shrink it. At least it would alleviate the headaches and vision changes, along with the medications he prescribed" he suggested.

She looked into his pleading eyes, wiping the tears from his cheeks. How could she say no to him. If it were the other way around she would be asking the same of him. She cupped his face in her hands.. "Please" he asked her as another tear fell. Caroline nodded as he pulled her closer . "Thank you" he replied before kissing her gently.

****

Emily sat on the back porch, twirling her hair in her hand while searching her computer for more information about Caroline's condition, she didn't realize Dena walked out with a glass of sweet tea for each of them. 

"What are you doing" she asked sitting the glasses on the table between their chairs. 

"Checking to see if I can find information on Caroline's condition. I want to help, Momma, I just don't know how" she replied not looking up from the computer. 

"I know, I do too. The main thing is to be supportive and loving and not treat her any differently. She loves your brother very much, I know this in my heart. I pray they will talk with each other and not let this pull them apart. Did you find anything in your search" she asked before taking a sip of her tea. 

" Mostly information explaining it but nothing about treating it yet" she answered closing her laptop. "I hope she's not upset with Timmy for telling us" Emily commented before taking a large sip of her tea. 

"I'm concerned of how her parents are going to react when she tells them" Dena stated.