The followup appointment with Dr. Kim was scheduled for 11 am. Tim let Caroline sleep til 9. He'd noticed a few changes in her since the episode at school. There were days she seemed extremely happy then others totally opposite. And her motor skills were irratic from dropping things to tripping over nothing.

Caroline had noticed the changes as well. She tried hard to cover them up and knew she wasn't succeeding. She feared the disease was progressing faster than anticipated. 'I need more time, he's not ready, I'm not ready' she thought as Tim walked into the room.

"Here, let me help you" he said noticing she was having difficulty. She watched him in the mirror as he gently brushed her long hair. He even went as far as braiding it to the side for her. "You're pretty good at that " she commented, smiling into the mirror.

****
Dr. Kim sat at his desk reviewing her chart, trying desperately to find anything to prove he was wrong. But, nothing. Somehow, someway he had to convince her to accept treatment.  If she didn't, she wouldn't make it six months.

Caroline and Tim arrived a few minutes late.  For whatever reason traffic this morning into Houston was more insane than usual. Apologizing to the clerk, they took their seats in the waiting room.

Nurse Janzic summoned them from the waiting room, following behind, watching Caroline. She noticed a bit of wandering to the right as she walked down the hall to Dr. Kim's office.

Once inside, he greeted each of them seperately before beginning his exam. He advised Caroline he wanted to run another MRI and blood work, to keep her status up to date. Nurse Janzic escorted them to the exam area where her physical was performed before heading to radiology. She then sat with Tim while he waited.

"How are you doing" she asked while pouring him a cup of coffee.

"I'm doing fine" he lied as he took the cup from her.

She knew, she'd come to know them well and could tell he was covering. She looked at him, raising an eyebrow as he looked at her.  Tim avoided her gaze as best he could, "ok, maybe not fine but as well as can be expected" he stated "More important is how she is doing" he added.

"And how is that" she asked.

"She has her moments, she tries to cover things up but I notice. I just wish..." Tim shook his head as he sipped his coffee.

"Wish what? That she would do the treatments" Kris asked.

Tim looked into his coffee " yes, but she won't. I understand some of her reasons, not wanting to be so sick all the time.  She thinks she'll be a burden to me. But she won't, I swear she won't" he said looking up at Kris.

They talked a bit more till Caroline was finally brought back from radiology. Kris took them both back to Dr. Kim's office. He stood there looking at the MRI films as the three of them walked in.

"Well, the tumor hasn't grown any, which is good. However, it has shifted slightly which would account for your mood swings. I do see some swelling in the surrounding tissues. I'm going to give you a steroid to diminish that. Typically with this type of tumor you will see others pop up as the disease progresses but there is no evidence of that happening thus far" he stated.

Caroline squeezed Tim's hand as he let out the breath he'd been holding. 'At least it hasn't grown or spread' he thought to himself.

"Caroline, I understand you've decided against any therapy. Can you explain why" the doctor asked her.

Caroline didn't expect to have to explain her reasons, "it should simply be my choice" she answered.

Tim started to say something, but didn't want to start an argument in front of everyone. He wanted her to try, it felt like she just wanted to give up. He wasn't ready to give up, he couldn't.

"Caroline, when we spoke last I told you what I recommended, I told you that you were looking at 2 yrs" Dr. Kim reminded her.

"Yes, yes you did" she answered.

He looked at both her and Tim. "If you don't try something, one treatment or another, you most likely would have less than 6 months. The chemo and radiation could put you in remission,  could give you the 2 yrs" he told them.

Tim desperately wanted her to try something. She looked at Tim, searching for support in her decision, but all she saw was fear. She knew all he was thinking was 6 months or less. She hated the look in his eyes. The longer she stared the more pleading she saw. "Baby, please " he finally whispered.

Caroline turned back towards Dr. Kim. "Would the radiation be as effective as before, like shrink it?" she asked.

"Yes, it could" he answered "you would need more sessions due to the growth and present size, but it could be effective" he answered.

"Could be...not would be" she stated.

"Caroline,  there is no 100% quarantee anything will work. Is there better chances of chemo and radiation together? Absolutely, but I won't lie to you and say either one is a cure. We just haven't come that far in cancer research. But I will say either one will buy you more time. I don't want to see you give up. You've come too far to not fight a little longer" Dr. Kim stated.

Caroline looked at Tim again.  He was her reason for every decision she made. She wasn't ready and she knew he definitely wasn't. She would do it, for him.

"Ummm...lets..I guess...I'll do the radiation treatments " she finally told them.

Tim looked at her, "you sure?" he asked quietly.

Caroline nodded "when do we start?"

****

Once back home and settled Caroline laid on the sofa for a nap. She leaned against the arm, hugging the pillow under her head. Tim knealt down beside her, lightly stroking her face with the back of his hand.

"What are you thinking" he asked her.

'Everything but nothing. So many decisions to make, changes to be made, people to finally let know what's been going on. It's rather overwhelming" she replied.

Tim laid down beside her, bringing her close. "I know, but we will handle everything one step at a time, at a pace you're comfortable with" he assured her.

Caroline snuggled into his chest. "I'm sorry " she whispered.

Tim lifted her chin gently, "you have nothing to be sorry for"

"This isn't the life we planned on" she stated.

"Maybe not, but it's our life. We're together, that's all that truly matters" he told her pulling her close again.