September 7th-26 weeks pregnant.

Jessica was cleaning the house while the boys were at school.

"You are just a little wiggle worm, aren't you?" Jessica stops what she's doing and looks down as she rest her hand on her stomach.

"Are you hungry? Are you telling mommy that it's lunch time?

*Giggles*

Let's see what we have here.." Jessica walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge.

"I really don't feel like cooking, but I guess I have to..

Tonight's pizza night, so at least I don't have to worry about dinner." She says as she hears a knock on the door.

"Who's that?" Jessica shuts the fridge door and goes over to see who's at the door.

"Hey mom!" She smiles.

"Hi baby! You look beautiful!"

"Aw thanks. I was cleaning, so I took a little rough." She chuckles.

"Oh not at all! I came over to see if you wanted to get lunch?"

"Oh sure! Let me just get dressed. Come in."

Jessica closes the door and says, "I was just about to make myself something, so I'm glad you came by! I don't feel like cooking."

"Hah! Where would you like to go?"

"Anything's good with me. I'll be back." She says walking up the stairs.

***

"So how are you feeling? How's the baby doing?"

"I feel great! The baby's good. He moves So much!"

"Does he?" Dorothy smiles.

"Yes! It's so cute!"

"Aw, that's great! How are the boys doing in school so far."

"So far they're all doing really good. The twins are loving senior life, and my baby's doing really well high school." She pouts.

"High school.. how?" Dorothy laughs.

"That's what I said! My baby is a freshman! I feel so old!"

"Hah! You're not old, Jessie."

"I know, but they make me feel that way!"

"Haha!

... You look good, Jessie.. I'm glad." She smiles.

"I feel good.

It's hard... Harder than I ever imagined.. But we're doing it... You know what next week is?"

"Yeah..."

"Eleven years." She smiles.

"Well really seventeen, but we've been married for eleven... You know, sometimes I forget that he's gone.. Just for a split second.  Like when I wake up.. sometimes I'll turn to the side to kiss him good morning.. Or just to smile at him, cause Sam used to watch me sleep if he woke up first.  He said I was cute and that I slept like a little bunny rabbit.  Whatever that meant.  *Chuckles*

Sometimes if the baby moves during the night, or starts to roll over, I reach over to grab his hand to put it on my belly. 

Yeah I'm doing okay, but.. Sometimes I sit down and think; Wow, I'm never gonna see him again.  I'll never touch him, kiss him, or make love to him ever again.  I don't know how I'm gonna live without him.
Financially.. We're okay.  The boys are helping out a lot, and with my job, we're doing okay. But without his love every single day... Without his sweet words..  The little things he'd tell me, or text me throughout the day.. Simple things he'd do for me like bringing me my coffe before he went to work, or making Saturday morning breakfast... It's those things.. How do I live without those things? How is that never coming back?" She says as a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Oh Jessie, don't cry!" Her mother sits next to get and wraps her arm around her for comfort.

She wipes her face and kisses her cheek.

"I can't imagine how hard this is on you, baby girl.

Having to stay strong for your boys, but still grieving Sam while being pregnant on top of that, must be extremely hard.  I am so so sorry that you're going through this."

Jessica sniffles and hugs her mom tightly.

"Awe sweetie!" Dorothy rubs her back as Jessica buries her face and cries.

***

Saturday September 16th.  27 weeks and two days pregnant.

Jessica wakes up and sighs as she looks up to the ceiling.

"Happy Anniversary, baby." She smiles.

"Eleven years ago, we said two words that made us one.

Sharing our love in front of all our friends and family with our boys, was one of the best days of my life.

I'll never forget it.

***

September 16th 2004.

"PERFECT!" Jessica says in an irritated tone.

"What's wrong, Jessie?" Dorothy asks.

"Michael had a poo explosion!" She picks him up and takes him to the bathroom.

Dorothy laughs and says, "Let me tend to him, and you stay with your friends while they get ready."

"No mom, he's my son and my responsibility."

"Jessica, you do everything for these kids. This is your day, let me help you!"

"Mom it's really gross!" Jessica scrunches her nose.

"Hey I wiped your dirty little butt!"

"Ew!"

"Yeah ew! *Laughs* Now go with your friends, I've got him."

"Thanks mom." She smiles and kisses her cheek.

Dorothy takes the baby and holds her breath.

"What did you do?!" Her eyes widen.

Michael sucks on his hands and laughs.

Jessica and her bridesmaids were in the bridal room, but Jessica wouldn't stop worrying about the boys.

"Jessica.. Jessica..  JESS!!" Anne yells, snapping her out of her trance.

"Oh sorry!  What?"

"What's going on?"

"I'm worried about the boys."

"Why?  Sam's got em."

"Yeah but they're probably running wild!  I don't want them getting dirty, or breaking anything!"

Anne laughs and says, do you want me to check on them for you?"

"Will you?!"

"Yeah!"

"Oh thank you! 

Anne?"

"Mhm?"

"Could you bring them to me so I can see them before the wedding?" Jessica smiles.

"No problem."

"Alright boys, mommy wants to see her little men!" Anne walks into the guys room.

"Oh thank God!" Sam runs and hugs her.

"Haha!  What's wrong?"

"They're running everywhere!  They won't let me do their hair!  If they go out there like that, Jessica might not marry me!"

Anna laughs and says, "I'll take them, and maybe Jessica can get them to listen."

"She can!  I don't know what it is, but she can do it!"

"Heh!  Boys, come on, let's go see mommy!"

"MOMMYYYYY!!!!" The run out the room.

"Hah, I'll be back." Anne shuts the door and Sam throws himself on the couch while letting out a sigh.

***

Anne opens the door and the boys run in.

"Mommy!!"

"Oh my boys!  Look at you!  You two are so cute!"

Anne explains why their hair is a mess, and why their shirts are messed up.

"Oh so we weren't listening to daddy, huh?" Jessica looks at them, and they hang their heads.

"Did you listen?"

"No ma'am.." They both nod.

"That's not how we behave.  Later you will apologize to daddy, do you hear me?"

"Yes.."

"Thank you.  Now come here so I can do your hair."

They come closer and Jessica does their hair, then fixes their clothes.

"See?  Now you look like two handsome prince's!" She smiles.

"Can you both please sit on the couch and don't move at all?"

"Yes." The twins walk over to the couch and sit down.

"Good boys." Jessica smiles.

"You're good!" Anne says.

"I am!" Jessica chuckles and impresses with herself.

***

Jessica comes out in her beautiful mermaid style wedding dress that showed off her curvy body.

"Mommy, you look beautiful!" James smiles.

"Awe!  Thank you, baby!"

"Mama's fancy!" Samuel says, making everyone laugh.

"Thanks, baby!" She giggles.

Jane put Michael down and he runs over to her.

"Mama!  Mama!" He smiled and clapped his hands while bouncing up and down.

Jessica giggles and said, "Awe!  Thank you, baby boy!  And oh my goodness, look at how cute my little man is!"  She bends down and squeezes Michael's cheeks.

He giggles and tilts his head towards her.

"Aww!  You boys get together with your mama for a picture!" Sarah grabs her camera.

"Come here my little guys!" She smiles as she sits down and holds her arms out.

They take the picture and Samuel turns to her and asks, "Mommy, what are we doing?"

"We're about to walk down the isle like we practiced, and mommy and daddy are gonna get married!!" She smiles.

"Oh cool!" James says.

"Yeah, cool!" Jessica laughs.

Sarah shows Jessica the picture and she smiles.

"Look at my handsome boys! 

...One day these three are gonna take care of me." She says with tears in her eyes."

***

"I guess I was right, Sam. 

Our boys are taking care of me now.

I miss you, baby.... I love you." She smiles, then stands up to begin her day.  She knew it was going to be a tough one.