May 14th.

"I can't believe my boys are getting ready for prom!  I don't want you two to grow up!"

"Aw mom, it's okay!" James says.

"Graduation is less than a month away, and I'm not ready." She looks at them with sad eyes.

"Mom.."

"Just thinking that you two will be fourteen hours away from me makes me sick to my stomach."

"Mom, don't do this." Sam says in a sad tone.

"I'm sorry.. I should be happy that daddy and I raised such.. Smart and independent boys.  I am happy and I'm so so proud of the both of you.. It's just hard for me."

"We love you, mom."

"I love you too." She smiles with tears slowly running down her cheeks.

"Don't cry!  We still have a long time till we leave!  Don't think about it." Sam says wiping her tears.

"What am I gonna do without you?"

"Mikey's still here to help."

"It's not about that.  It's about not seeing you everyday, or not being able to touch you.. Hug you and tell you how much I love you."

"Mom, you can call us, and we'll visit all the time! Please don't upset yourself." Samuel hugs her.

"Oh Samuel... You have grown up so much this past year.  After daddy.. I didn't think I could do this all myself.. Then the baby was coming and I was terrified.. But you guys have stepped up and helped me out so so much.  Thank you.  I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am."

They smile softly and James hugs her.

"You and dad did a great job, mom."

"Thank you.

He was so great.. I'm worried about Michael and Grayson."

"Why?"

"Michael's still young, and Grayson is just a baby.  I worry about him because he'll never have a father."

"He does ma!  He always will! You can do this and we will help you do this!  Grayson and Michael will both be fine.  Michael is strong and Grayson.. That little boy has more people looking out for him than anyone I know."

Jessica nods wipes her face.

"If you ever need anything, Sam and I are just a phone call away."

She smiles softly and holds her arms out to both of them for a hug.

***

"Mom!"

"Just one more picture!  Michael, grab Grayson and you both get in!"

Michael laughs but does what she asks.

"Oh my boys are so handsome!" Jessica takes the picture then shows them.

"Look!  Look how perfect you are!  You all came out of me!" She smiles.

"This picture right here is my four best accomplishments!  I love you boys so much!"

"We love you too, mom."

*

"Alright Grayson, say bye bye to your brothers.  Boys, be good!" Jessica takes Grayson and points her finger at the twins.

"We will!"

"I mean it, Samuel!"

"I know, mom!" He laughs.

***

Last day of school.

Jessica woke up early and fed Grayson, then put him in his rocker and made breakfast.

This was the last day that her three oldest boys would be coming down for breakfast before school. She was emotional, but wanted to make it happy for the boys. This was something to celebrate, not be sad about.

The boys come down and Jessica has breakfast out on the table.

"Ooh everything looks great! Thanks mom!"

"You're welcome! Happy last day of school!" She smiles big.

"Thanks! I can't believe we're done." Sam looks at James and smiles.

"I know.." He looks down.

Jessica's eyes water, but she holds her tears in.

After they finish eating, the boys try to clean up, but Jessica tells them that she's got it.

"You boys get to school and have a good day."

"Thanks mom. And thanks for breakfast."

"You're welcome!" She smiles and the boys give her a hug.

They close the door and Jessica looks over to Grayson with tears, "My babies are growing up, Gray!"

He smiles and kicks his legs making her smile.

"You're just like your daddy, little guy. You can always make mama smile!"

***

"That's it! We're officially done with school!" Sam says walking into the house.

"Aw my babies! Congratulations! I made your favorite for dinner, and some homemade chocolate cake!" Jessica smiles.

"Ah mom! Can I take you with me to college?" James hugs and kisses her making Jessica laugh.

***

June 1st.

It's the night before graduation and the boys are all home.

"I ironed all your clothes and your cap and gown are hung up.. Everything's ready." She smiles softly.

"You're the best, mom!" Sam holds his fist up for Jessica to pound it.

She giggles and says, "Thanks! Are you boys excited?"

"Yes! This is what we've been working for! We're graduating!" Sam lifts his hands in the air.

"..I'm excited.." James smiles softly.

Jessica chuckles and thinks back fourteen years ago.

***

2003- The day before the twins first day of preschool.

"Mommy I'm so excited for school!"

"Well good, Samuel, that makes me happy!"

"I'm gonna meet girls!" He smiles big.

"Samuel!"

"That's my boy!" Sam picks him up.

"Sam!"

"I'm just playing, mommy!

Samuel tell mama that you can't wait to learn all kinds of new things and become super duper smart!" Sam tells his son.

Samuel smiles and pauses for a second.

"Tell her!" He shakes him.

Samuel laughs and says, "Mommy I can't wait to see girls!"

"No! That's not what I said!" Sam yells making Samuel laugh harder.

"You are too much, Samuel Roger Shepard!"

"Hey!" They both look at her.

Jessica laughs and looks down to James who was on her lap.

"You boys ready for bed?  Your baby brother is already out!" Sam says.

"No!" Samuel yells and laughs hysterically.

"You're wired!  It's time for bed!"

"No daddy!!" He whines.

"Okay no school and No girls tomorrow!"

"Ah!  Bed time!" Samuel smiles.

"Oh my gosh, Samuel!" Jessica reaches up and playfully taps his butt.

"Hey that's mine, mommy!"

"I know that, silly!" She smiles.

"Kiss mama goodnight." Sam lowers him down.

"Night night mama!" He kisses her.

"Muah!  Love you more!  Brother and I will be right there, okay?"

"Okay!"

Sam kisses Jessica's head and takes Samuel to bed.

"James, what's wrong, baby?" Jessica rubs his back.

"Mommy I don't wanna leave you!"

"Aw baby! It's okay. You're gonna have so much fun and you and brother are gonna learn so many new things!"

"But I have to stay here! I have to help you with the baby!"

"Aw baby! That's so sweet." She smiles.

"But it's okay, I have daddy to help! And guess what!"

"What mommy?"

"In two weeks mommy and daddy go back to school too."

"You do?!" His eyes widen.

"Yeah, and mommy's nervous too.. But it'll be okay. I have daddy and you have your brother! Michael will stay with grandma and grandpa while we're all at school!" She laughs.

James laughs then becomes serious.

"Mama?"

"Yes baby?"

"Can I go to school with you and daddy?"

"Heh! I'm afraid not, sweetie."

James pouts and lowers his head.

"Don't be sad! You'll have fun!"

"I don't think I will!"

"I know you will!"

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm mama and mama's know everything!"

"Everything?!" His eyes widen.

"Everything!"

"Woah!"

"Yeah! So don't be scared because I know that you'll be okay."

"Mama knows?" He smiles.

"Mama knows!" Jessica giggles and hugs him tighter.

"Now go get ready for bed and I'll be up in a second."

"Okay mommy!" He kisses her cheek and hops off her lap.

Jessica tears up and Dorothy walks up behind her and touches her back.

"Oh hey!" She sniffles and turns to her.

"You okay, baby?"

"Yeah..

My babies aren't babies anymore!" She cries.

"Aw sweetie! They'll always be your babies!" Dorothy says sitting in front of her.

"But they'll go to school and won't need me anymore!"

"Honey they're four years old!" Dorothy chuckles.

"They'll always need their mama." She touches her knee and looks into Jessica's eyes.

Jessica looks at her mother and smiles softly.

"Yeah.. You're right." She chuckles and hugs Dorothy.

"I know.. Because mama's know everything!"

Jessica pulls away and laughs looking into Dorothy's eyes.

"I heard that from a pretty amazing young woman. She's a great mama."

"Aw, thank you!" Jessica smiles.

***

Graduation day.

Jessica woke up early with the baby.  She made breakfast and got ready for the day.

"Well Sam.. The day is finally here.  Our baby boys are graduating.

We did it!

We have talked about this day for years.. I just can't believe you're not here to see it... But I know you're still here in a way.. You'll be right by our sides... Forever."

***

2003- The twins first day of school.

Jessica and Sam got up to get all three boys ready.

While their other nineteen year old friends were sleeping in, or getting last minute things done before college, Jessica and Sam were on their own crazy schedule.

Jessica fed the baby and Sam got the boys dressed, then Jessica gave him Michael to change while she she did the boys hair.  Dorothy helped out by making breakfast so they could grab something to eat before leaving.

On the way over James was quiet and Samuel was playing with a toy while Michael sat in his carrier babbling.

Sam noticed Jessica fiddling with her fingers, so he reached over and placed his hand on hers.

She looks at him and he says, "They'll be okay."

"I'm so scared, Sam!"

"Sweetie, it's okay!  Don't be scared.  It's a great school and they'll have fun!"

"Yeah.." She looks down.

Sam stops at a light and leans over.

"Hey!  Smile!" He kisses her cheek.

Jessica smiles and says, "Let's homeschool them!"

"Who's gonna homeschool us?" He chuckles.

"Sam!" She laughs.

"Baby it'll be okay.  Just think.. One day we'll look back and think, oh my gosh they were so little!  Where did the time go?!  One day we'll be at their high school graduation and think about where it all started.. I'll hold you in my arms and we'll smile.. We won't be sad, because we deserve that moment.. That moment of pride.  Seeing the strong independent boys we have raised walk across that stage and finally become men."

"I don't want them to grow up!" Jessica cries.

"They can't graduate yet!"

"Jess, it's just preschool!" Sam laughs.

"Oh yeah.. Right." She laughs.

"You're such a dork!"

"Hey!" Jessica laughs as Sam leans in and kisses her lips.

***

The boys come down with their cap and gown on and Jessica couldn't hold her tears in.

"Boys.." She smiles and touches her chest.

The image of two little boys in preschool came to her and tears fell down her face.

Remembering seeing Sam run in and immediately starting conversations with everyone, and James having a harder time.  He was shy, so he stood in the corner with his hands in front of his mouth with a scared look in his eyes.

Jessica remembers going over to him, hugging him and kissing his cheek.  She remembers telling him that everything was gonna be okay, and she remembers Samuel running over to grab his brother's hand.  He gave him a kiss and said that he loved him, he was his best friend, and that they're gonna have so much fun together.

Sam and Jessica were happy to see them that way.  Jessica of course she's a few tears, and Sam looked at them and smiled.

"I'm so proud of you two.  I love you both so much." He looks them in the eyes and hold his palm on their cheek.

All of those thoughts came to Jessica as she walked over to hug both boys.

"I am so proud of both of you."

She holds her palm on their cheek and says, "So is your father.. He always has been.  Since preschool, he has always been proud.. And he always will be... Mama knows." She says with a smile in almost a whisper.

The boys smile and James softly chuckles, "Because mama knows everything." He says before they both hug her tightly.