October 31st.

"Happy Halloween, Grayson! Are you ready to put your little Halloween onesie on?"

Jessica slips it on and clips it closed.

"Oh you're so cute!" She tickles his stomach making him giggle.

"Are you ticklish, big boy?!

*Giggles*

Do you know what your shirt says? Hm? It says Mummy's Boy! And there's a little mummy on it! Aren't you just too cute?!" She smiles.

Jessica goes downstairs and Michael was already down there.

"Hey baby! What are our plans for tonight?" She smiles.

"Well I was thinking I'd go to this party my friend is having tonight."

"Oh.. What friend?"

"Brandon."

"Where is it?"

"His house. His parents will be there!"

"Oh, well alright.."

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah that's fine, go have fun and be safe okay?"

"Yes ma'am.

I'm gonna go play some ball, I'll be back later."

"Okay.."

Michael leaves and Jessica sighs and looks down at Grayson.

"Just me and you again.."

He smiles and kicks his legs.

Jessica kisses his head then sticks him in his walker.

"Wait right here while mommy makes some breakfast, okay?"

Grayson follows her to the kitchen and stands right by her feet.

"Well hello!" She giggles.

"Do you want some nanners? Huh? Here, eat your bananas." Jessica puts some on his little tray and Grayson stuffs his mouth.

"Don't choke yourself, silly!"

***

That evening Jessica dressed Grayson in his Halloween costume and went over to see her parents.

"Trick or treat!" Jessica smiles holding Grayson.

"Hey little guy!" Albert smiles at him then kisses Jessica's cheek.

"Hi beautiful."

"Hi daddy! Gray, can you say Happy Halloween, grandma and grandpa!"

"Awe! Happy Halloween, Grayson! Look at the little lion!" Dorothy smiles and takes him from Jessica.

"Isn't he cute?!" Jessica smiles.

"He sure is! Where's Michael?"

"At a party.. That boy never wants to be with us anymore." She pouts.

"Well he's growing up, Jessie.  It's normal."

"Yeah I know.. I'm just so worried!"

"Why? Do you know the people he's hanging out with?"

"Yeah, but I worry about everything now! What he's doing, where he is, who's driving him and pretty much every other thing I could possibly worry about."

Dorothy was concerned for Jessica. A few years back Jessica suffered from extreme anxiety and had to be put on medication for it. Sam helped her through it and thankfully she was able to get off the medicine. Dorothy saw a change in her daughter, and she hoped that she would not go down a path she's been before.

***

Two weeks later.

"OW!" Jessica yells while she nurses Grayson.

He looks up and laughs.

"That's not funny! Are you getting a tooth?!"

Grayson bites down again and Jessica gasps.

"Ow, stop doing that!" She takes her boob from his mouth.

"Let me see!" She looks at his gums.

"Yep! You're getting your first tooth! Oh you're such a big boy!"

Grayson giggles and Jessica taps his nose.

"No more boobies for you! You get a big boy bottle!" She smiles.

Jessica gave him a bottle and Grayson pouted.

"Come on, it's the same thing!"

He fused and pushed it away.

"Grayson! No sir, drink your bottle!"

He refused to take the bottle. For the past few weeks Grayson was only nursing for the comfort of it while going down for a nap.

"How about if mommy lays down with you and feeds you? Will that be better?"

Jessica lays beside him in her room and Grayson lays his head on her chest as he drinks his bottle.

"Is that good? Do you feel better?" She kisses his head and softly caresses his back.

Grayson brings his eyes up to look at her and Jessica giggles.

***

Later that day.

"Mom, I'll be back." Michael says grabbing his coat.

"Where are you going now?"

"With friends."

"Michael, you're never home anymore.  You and your brothers always stayed home and had family time.  Why are you always wanting to leave?"

"I just don't want to be here."

"Why not?"

"Nothing mom.. *Sighs* Listen, I'll be back around ten."

"Michael!

Come back and talk to me!"

Michael looks down and says, "It's different here."

"What do you mean?"

"When dad died, the place seemed quieter.. But with everyone here being loud and keeping everything going.. It was okay. It still hurt.. That hurt will never go away, but things were happening and I'd just try not to think about it.. Pretend he's at work or on a business trip. Now the twins are gone and it's just you, me and Grayson. I love you both, but I need the loudness and the chaos.. The emptiness in the house is making it all too real and I hate it."

"Oh baby, I had no idea you felt that way! I'm sorry.. I know what you mean.. I feel the same way.. When you leave me and it's just Grayson and I, it gets really lonely. I always think of what daddy and I would be doing. You know, little things.. Like, watching tv on the couch with Grayson... Putting him down for a nap and cooking together in the kitchen like we loved.... Him playing with the baby and me getting some rest.. Heh, all kinds of different things run through my head.."

"I'm so sorry I'm always leaving you guys."

"We miss you." Jessica says bouncing Grayson on her lap.

Michael smiles and looks at the baby.

"I miss you guys too.."

"You can go out with your friends if you want."

"No, it's okay.. How about I call in for pizza?"

"Yum! Sounds good! How does that sound, Gray?" Jessica stands Grayson up on her lap.

He giggles and eats his hands.

"I think he's on board!" Jessica laughs.

***

November 16th.

"Grayson, your brothers are coming home today! Are you excited?! Sam and James are coming home just for your birthday tomorrow! Then they get to stay for a whole week! We're gonna have so much fun having them back home, aren't we?!"

Grayson giggles and chews his hands.

"I think that means you're happy!" She giggles.

Jessica goes to the hall and shouts for Michael.

"Mikey, are you ready? The boys' plane should be landing soon."

"I'm down here, ma!"

"Oh!" Jessica walks downstairs.

"Ahh! What are you doing here?!" Jessica screams scaring Grayson.

"Surprise! Uncle George picked us up!" The twins stand up from the couch.

"Surprise! I'm here too!" George jumps out.

Jessica laughs and nods her head.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Gray!" She rubs his stomach.

Grayson rubs his eyes and cries.

"Aw! It's okay, little man! Come here! Look at you! You're so big now!" Sam takes him.

Grayson looks at him with a blank face then smiles big and holds his face.

"Awe! He missed his big brothers!!" Jessica says before hugging James.

"Get over here! Oh my baby! You look thin, are you eating right?" She asks with her hands on his waist.

"Yes ma'am." James laughs.

"Samuel! Give me hug!" She holds her arms out.

James takes the baby and Sam hugs his mother.

"You've lost weight mom, are You eating right?"

"I've been trying to loose baby weight.. Finally!" She laughs.

"It only took me a whole year to start trying!"

"Heh! You look great just the way you are, mom."

"Aw thanks, sweetie!"

"So where are we going for lunch?" George asks.

Jessica chuckles and James says, "You know what I want, and I think Sam wants as well?"

"What baby?" Jessica smiles.

"A home cooked meal!"

"Awe! Well no problem! You boys sit down and watch tv, and I will make you all something to eat!"

"Great!" George smiles and takes a seat on the couch.

Jessica rolls her eyes and goes to the kitchen.

"Gray! Did you miss us?" James asks standing him up on his legs.

Grayson marches his little feet and claps his hands.

"I think that's a yes! You're so happy to see us, aren't you?"

Grayson laughs and grabs his face.

"Oh I missed you!!" He hugs him.

"So Michael, how's school?" Sam asks.

"I mean, it's school.."

"Everything okay?"

"Oh yeah, I just hate going."

"Well who doesn't?" He chuckles.

***

"Ah Grayson! What are you doing, bud?" James laughs as Grayson leans forward and puts his face on his cheek.

"Yuck! Baby slobber!" Sam laughs.

"It'll be ready soon.  Oh I see he's showing you his new thing he likes to do. He loves giving kisses!" Jessica giggles walking in.

"Oh is that what that is?" James laughs.

"Yeah, isn't he cute?" She smiles.

"Adorable! Now let's not give too many kisses away at once!" James pulls him away and wipes his cheek on his shoulder

"Aw!" Jessica takes him and brings him to her face.

"You can give mama kisses!"

She laughs and says, "and look, he has a little toothy!" Jessica gently holds down his bottom lip to show them.

"Man Gray, you've already grown so much!" James says.

"Yes he has!  He's not even nursing anymore.. You know, cause of the tooth.."

The boys laugh and George says, "When Jenna was a baby and Samantha was nursing her she almost lost a nipple because of her little teeth coming in."

Jessica laughs and continues, "And we're working on walking now.  Grayson, can you show the twins how you walk with mama?"

Jessica stands him up and holds his hands.

"Steady yourself.  Good boy!  Now put one foot in front of the other!" She says in a cute and encouraging voice.

Grayson walks slowly with a big smile on his face.

"Good job, Gray!"

"Wow! How long have we been gone?!" Samuel laughs.

"I know, he's like a little person now!" James says.

"Yep!  Crazy to think one year ago at this time, this little guy was in my belly!  This year has flown by.."

"It sure has...

Remember how big you were?" Sam laughs.

"Samuel!  Way to ruin the moment!"

***

Grayson's first birthday.

Jessica woke up and Grayson was on her chest starring at her.

*Giggles*

"Well hello!  Happy Birthday, sweet boy!  You're one year old today!  How cool is that?  Hey and guess what!  It's daddy's birthday too!  Can you say Happy Birthday, Dada!"

Grayson babbles and blows little spit bubbles.

Jessica laughs and says, "Say dada!  That can be your birthday present to him!"

He laughs and Jessica kisses his forehead.

"You're so cute!

Happy Birthday, Sammy!" She looks up and smiles.

***

"Grayson!  You're one!  Happy Birthday!" Michael says taking him from Jessica.

"One year old?  Grayson, you're almost as old as I am!" Sam smiles making breakfast.

"Oh boys, I was gonna make breakfast!  You're on break, I should be spoiling You!"

"Oh don't you worry about it, old woman!" James pats her back.

"Old woman?!  Hey, I just popped a kid out, I am far from an old woman!" She says making them laugh.

"Just playing, momma!" He smiles and kisses her cheek.

"Oh my Baby!" Jessica hugs him tight and presses her cheek to his chest.

"Miss me, ma?" James chuckles as he hugs her back.

"Yes I did!" She says in a cute voice as she hugs him tighter.

***

1:00.

Dorothy was throwing Grayson a birthday party, so all of their family and friends went over to her house.

"Thank you so much for all of this, mom.  I really appreciate it."

"Oh no problem, baby girl!  Anything for you and my sweet Grayson!" She holds his chin as Jessica bounces him on her hip.

***

Jessica sits with her mother in law and talks.

"How are you doing, Jessie?"

"I'm good." Jessica smiles.

"Good.. Are you sure though?"

"I'm better." She sighs.

"It's just hard.. You know, when my boys are so far away.  Right now I feel okay.. It's just when they're gone I feel like a kid with separation anxiety.. Like I almost can't function.  Michael is older and doesn't need me, and Grayson depends on me.. Some days I don't want to get out of bed, but he keeps me going."

"Sam would want you to keep going.  He would want you to be happy."

"I know.."

*Sighs*

"Which is why I'm going to offer this.  I'll take the baby one night and I want you to go out.."

"Jane!"

"I'm not saying meet a guy and have sex, I'm just saying to go out.  Go with Sarah, or someone else.  Just have a good time.. You need that, Jess."

Jessica looks down and Jane continues.

"Since you were fifteen years old your entire life has been about your boys.. It's time you start focusing on yourself.  Yes you have Grayson, but it's not healthy to just be with him day in and day out.  I hope I'm not offending you, dear.. You know I think of you as my own daughter, and I just want you to be happy."

Jessica gives her a small smile and nods.

"I know.. Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The baby does something cute and Jane smiles.

"And look at you! Such a big boy now! You're looking more and more like your daddy everyday, Grayson."

"He is.." Jessica gets a sadness in her eyes.

"He was a handsome man, your son."

"Yes he was.

He's handsome, you're gorgeous.. It's no wonder you made these little cherub children." Jane smiles.

"Aw thank you, Jane.

*Smiles*

Right now Grayson and I are working on saying dada. Isn't that right, baby?" Jessica smiles and fixes his hair as Jane holds him on her lap.

"Oh really? Awe!"

"Yeah.. He's one and hasn't said anything, I'm worried."

"Jessie he's only one!"

"I know but my other boys were saying mama and dada at this age."

"Oh that's right. But Jess, all babies are different, sweetie."

"Yeah, you're right. How about you say mama, Gray?!" Jessica cups his chin and smiles at him as he giggles.

"My precious boy!" She gives him a kiss.

***

They sing to Grayson and have cake, then Sam asks, "Mom, can we hit the piñata already?"

"Heh!  Sure son." She nods.

They take pictures with Grayson and his piñata, and he falls in love with it.

It was Blue from Blue's clues.

"Is that Blue?  You like that show, don't you?" Jessica asks in a cute voice as she stands beside him holding him up.

She takes his hands and gently taps the piñata with the stick making him laugh.

"Is that funny? *Giggles* you're such a cutie!" She kisses his cheek.

Grayson stands there trying his hardest to balance himself while staring eye to eye with "Blue".

"You love it, don't you baby boy?!"

Grayson throws himself forward and hugs and kisses it.

"Aw baby, you're such a sweetheart!  I don't want anyone hitting it!" Jessica turns to everyone and pouts.

George bends down to his level, "Grayson, we're gonna hit it and lots of candy's gonna come out!"

"Which he cannot eat!" Jessica gives him a stern look.

"Oh come on, it's his birthday!

Tell mommy to let you have some candy!

Say mommy give me candy!" George points his finger at Jessica.

Grayson narrows his eyebrows and points his finger at his mother as he baby talks.

"Grayson!" She laughs.

"George, do not teach my child to talk back to me! He's a sweet boy! Right Gray?" She smiles and pats his stomach.

"Mom!" Sam whines.

"Oh right! Come on Gray, let's let your brothers have some fun."

"Let's let all the kids hit it first, then we'll go." James says.

"You ready, Kenna?" Sam playfully pats her arm and hands her the stick.

"Oh yes I am! I'm gonna murder it!"

"McKenna!" Jessica laughs and widens her eyes.

"Please excuse her violence." Sarah closes her eyes and nods her head.

***

Grayson was smiling and waving at the piñata as Jessica held him.

He was fine watching the kids hit it, but got extremely upset when it came to his brothers turn.

"Alright, let's do this!" Sam gets excited before he starts swinging.

"Ah!" Grayson makes a sad pout before he cries hard.

"Aw poor baby!  Don't look!" Jessica holds the back of his head and faces him away.

Grayson turns back around and points while sobbing.

"Aw, they're hurting his friend!" Sarah pouts and touches her chest.

It was the hardest and most hurtful little cry.

"Grayson! Aw baby boy, I'm so sorry! Come on, let's go inside with mommy and you can have some more cake, okay?" She says bouncing him and holding him to her chest.

***

"Look at all the presents you got Grayson! Can you say thank you?"

Grayson baby talks and waves to everyone.

"Aw good boy!" Jessica gives him a kiss.

"All these toys and he's obsessed with the wrapping paper." Sam chuckles as Grayson plays with the paper.

"It's the little things in life, isn't it baby boy?" Jessica giggles and rubs his back.

***

George and the boys load up the van and Jessica helps her mom, mother in law and sisters clean up.

"So what are you guys up to now? Off to bed early?" Dorothy chuckles looking at the exhaustion on her daughters face.

"Heh, no.. I'm gonna take the boys to the cemetery to see Sam."

"Oh that's nice!"

"Yeah.." Jessica sighs and looks down.

"Jess, are y-" Ann puts her arm around her.

"I'm fine, Ann." Jessica cuts her off.

"You sure?"

"Yes.

Ann, not now... I can't."

"I understand.. I'm sorry. Love you, sis."

"I love you too." She smiles softly.

***

James drove to the cemetery and Jessica sat in the back.

"You've been such a good boy on your birthday, mama is so proud of you!"

He smiles and kicks his legs.

"So happy!" Jessica giggles.

***

They walk over to Sam's grave and Michael puts blue flowers in his vase.

"Awe.. My Sammy. Happy Birthday, baby." Jessica sits down and gently rubs her hand on his grave the way she once caressed it on his bare chest.

She bends down to kiss it, then wipes her tear stained cheek.

Grayson starts fussing to get down, so Sam hands him down to Jessica.

Tears were slowly running down her cheeks, but Grayson looked to her and gave her the biggest smile.

"Aw, thank you for that sweet smile! Looks just like daddy's."

The baby points to the grave and smiles brightly.

"Yeah that's daddy! Can you say, Happy Birthday, Dada?"

"Da-Da!" Grayson says in the cutest little voice as he reaches over and touches the stone.

Jessica and her boys gasp.

Their eyes widen and Jessica smiles big.

"He just said dada! Did you hear him? He said dada!"

"Yeah! Good job, Gray!" James rubs his back.

"Oh my boy! You are so special, do you know that?" She kisses his head.

Sam looks at his watch and says, "Right on Grayson's birthday minute too!"

"Awe! So now you're officially one! Happy Birthday, buddy!" She kisses his cheek.

He smiles and claps his hands.

"Yeah! It's a happy day and we shouldn't be sad, right, baby?

Thank you for reminding me that, sweet boy." Jessica cups his face, before he reaches over to touch the stone again.

"Happy Birthday to my big baby and my littlest baby!" Jessica says with a beautiful smile on her face.