James carefully turned his mother on her side and prayed it would soon be over.

After a few seconds Jessica's body slowly started to calm down.

"Mom?"

Jessica didn't say anything, she just looked around with a confused look in her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Her lips slightly parted but she still didn't speak.

They were worried the seizure might have caused more damage than they thought.

"...What... Happened?" She says in a voice so low it was almost nothing at all.  Her eyes were half shut and she looked so weak.

"You had a seizure.. You're gonna be okay though, mom.. It's okay.. We're gonna take you to the hospital. How do you feel? Can you breath alright?"

Jessica moves her head and makes a small noise.

"You okay?"

She lightly nods her head no and he asks, "Are you gonna be sick?"

She nods yes and he looks around for something but it was too late.

"I'm sorry.." She cries.

"Don't be. It's okay! Just let it all out." He rubs her back.

Jessica grabs her stomach and moans in pain.

"Mama!" Grayson cries reaching for Jessica. 

"Mama's okay, bud!  She's gonna be okay.." Michael bounces him lightly.

"He's scared, Mikey.  Get him out of here." James says still trying to comfort his mother.

"Right in here." Sam says with paramedics following behind him.

They first make sure Jessica is okay and alert enough to be moved, then they put her on a stretcher.

"I don't want her going alone, can we go with her?" Sam asks.

"We can only have one person in there with her."

"Sam, you go with her and I'll clean up and take the boys over to the hospital with me."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll let you know what's going on."

"Thanks.. Oh and Hey!" James pulls him aside.

"Don't be stupid.  Make her feel safe.  Hold her hand and talk to her.  Do what dad would do.  She's scared right now.. Dad would speak calmly to her and ease her mind."

"If dad were here she wouldn't be like this!  We should have done something!"

"Sam, I know you're upset, but you can be upset later.  She needs you!"

"Yeah.. Okay." Sam nods.

James cleans up the mess and quickly packs the baby's things before heading to the hospital.

***

When Sam gets there they take her back, leaving him alone.

He was a wreck he didn't know what to do.  His mother was sick and he felt helpless.

Why did you have to leave us?  You should be here!

Sam was in tears.  He felt that he failed his mom, and failed his father for not taking better care of Jessica.

"Dad please help us!  We don't know what to do.  How do we deal with this?  How do we get her back to the way she was?" Sam speaks to himself in the long empty hallway.

He took his phone out and called his grandmother.

He needed someone to tell him that it was all gonna be okay.  He needed someone to comfort him.

"Hello?"

"Grandma!  Grandma, I'm at the hospital with mom!" He says crying.

"What?!  What happened?"

"It's a long story, but she had a seizure."

"A seizure?!  Oh my God!"

"She's been taking pills, grandma.  She takes more than she's supposed to.. We found out on Christmas and we had an appointment tomorrow morning so she could see the doctor.  I guess the detox was just too much.  Grandma please come!  The boys are on their way, but we need you!  I can't.. We can't do this alone.  If my dad were still here--" Samuel's voice cracks and he breaks down.

"Aw baby, don't cry!  I'll be there as so as I can!"

"Thank you so much!  Drive safe."

"I will.  I love you, sweet boy."

"I love you too, grandma."

Dorothy was shocked to hear Samuel so upset.  He was always so strong.

After she hung up with Sam, Dorothy called Jane who lives about five or ten minutes away from her.

Jane quickly drove over to be with her father who was asleep and still knew of nothing that was going on.

Dorothy got in her car and drove to the hospital.

When the rest of the boys arrived, they ran over to Sam and asked if they've talked to him yet.

"They haven't even come out!  What if something's wrong?!"

James closes his eyes and let's out a hurtful sigh.  He looked like he was in the verge of tears.

"She'll be fine."

"This is all our fault."

"It's no ones fault." Michael nods.

"Yes it is. I called grandma, she's on her way."

"You told grandma?!" James raises his voice and widens his eyes.

"Yeah.."

"Why would you do that?  Mom didn't want anyone knowing!  Plus, grandma is busy with grandpa!"

"Well James, we need someone!  We can't do this alone!"

"But mom said-"

"Grandma doesn't care!  Mom needs her mother here with her, James!" Sam raises his voice right back at him.

Grayson sees them going back and forth, and gets upset.

"Gray, it's okay.. Come here." James takes him from  Michael and looks at Sam.

"I'm sorry.. You did the right thing, I just.."

"I know.. It's okay." Sam says in a low voice.

"Are you Mrs. Shepard's family?"

"Yes!  Is she okay?!"

"She'll be fine.  Your mother's body was just going through a tough withdrawal.  We have her on an iv, and we can keep her here to get the proper care she needs to get back to her normal self."

"So she's okay?" James asks.

"Of course!  She's lucky to have you boys.  You can really see the love you have for her, and vice versa.  When she was able to start talking a little more, she just kept asking if you boys were alright." The doctor chuckles.

"That's mom for you.. She's the best." James says and his brothers agree.

"Can we see her?"

"She's sleeping right now, but you can come in if you'd like."

James called Dorothy before they went in to see Jessica and told her what the doctor had said.

When they went into the room, Sam sat beside her and held Jessica's hand.

"I love you, mom." He said softly.

"Mama!" Grayson pointed.

"Shh, mama's sleeping." James puts his finger over his lips and Grayson mimics him.

James chuckles and kisses Grayson's head.

"Bo Bo?" He tilts his head and pints to his mother.

"Yeah bud.. Mommy has some bo bo's, but they're gonna make her all better, okay?"

Michael was quiet and Sam never once let go of his mother's hand, or took his eyes off of her.

Jessica slowly started to wake up.

"Hey momma." Sam smiles softly.

"My babies." She smiles with her eyes half shut.  Her voice was a whisper, but she was okay.

"How do you feel?" James asks.

"I feel okay.. Have you boys eaten?"

"We're okay, mom." Samuel chuckles.

"Listen mom, I need to tell you something."

"What?!" Jessica panics.

"It's nothing bad, mom.  Sam, don't scare her like that!" James says because Jessica was grabbing her chest with fear in her eyes.

"I'm sorry!  It's not bad.. I just wanted to tell you that um.. I told grandma about you being here."

"Oh no.. You didn't tell her about the pills, did you?"

Sam stays silent.

"Samuel." She looks at him with disappointment.

"Mom, don't worry about it.  Grandma isn't mad."

"I just hate disappointing my parents." Jessica looks down.

"Mom, you could never disappoint anyone.  Trust me.. You're like the best thing ever."

"Aw Mikey." Jessica smiles.

"I called her because we need her.  Mom, I am so sorry we haven't been here for you.  I'm sorry about everything!"

"Samuel baby, don't say that!  You boys are incredible.  I couldn't have come this far if it wasn't for you guys.  I owe you everything."

"No you don't.  We owe you.

I just feel like we should have done something!  Mom, none of this would've happened if dad was still here.  He knew how to take care of you.  How to make you feel safe.. Mom, I'm so sorry he's gone and we're never around. Mikey's young and Grayson is a baby! We should have never went to a school that's so far away!"

Jessica saw sadness, and anger in her child's eyes.

"Samuel, look at me!" Jessica grabs his hand and looks into his eyes.

"This is a school you've wanted to go to for years. I am so so proud of you, baby, and I don't want you to regret going over there, okay?"

Sam nods his head as tears slowly run down his cheeks.

Jessica wipes them and Sam cries harder.

"I wish dad was here."

Jessica's eyes immediately fill with tears.

"Oh baby.. I'm so sorry."

"Our life was normal! We were happy! Why did he have to leave?!"

Jessica grabs him and pulls him to her chest as he sobs.

"Baby boy, it's okay! I know.. I know it's horrible, but it was his time to go. I know it doesn't make sense.. I know it feels like the end of the world, but you know what? It's not." She pulls him away and looks into his eyes with her palms on his cheeks.

"It's not the end.

Your daddy is still with you.. And with your brother.. And me." Jessica says in a shaky voice.

"You need to live happy and not have regrets, because that is how your father lived every single day.

I'm here because of me! Not you, okay? So don't ever think this is you or your brothers fault."

Sam nods and Jessica hugs him.

"My baby."

Samuel lays on her shoulder and Jessica rocks him lightly forward and back.

They hear a light knock on the door and Michael opens it.

"Jessie!" Dorothy walks over in tears.

"Mom!

Mom, I am so so sorry!" Jessica cries.

"Don't be. *Nods* I love you with all my heart, and I'm always here for you. Don't ever be afraid to come to me about anything, okay?"

Jessica nods and Dorothy gives her a hug.

"Mama!"

Jessica chuckles and she and Dorothy break their hug.

Grayson holds his arms out and leans forward.

"Awe he wants his mama." Dorothy baby talks.

Jessica smiles and takes him from James.

"Hey little guy." Jessica kisses his head as he sits on her lap.

"I know I haven't been much fun to be around.. But I promise that's gonna change. Mommy's getting help.

I want to go back to the mommy you love being around.. Not whoever this is." She softly chuckles.

Grayson eyes widen and he makes an "O" shape with his mouth.

He points to her iv and Jessica laughs.

"Yeah that's yucky, huh?" She says in a cute voice.

Jessica looks around the room and smiles softly.

Her eyes fill with tears and she speaks softly.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." They all say.

"We love you, ma." James puts his arm around her and kisses the top of her head.

"Luh yew Mama!" Grayson smiles a huge cheesy smile as he sits his hands playfully on his legs.

"Awe!  Baby boy!  You've never said that before!  I love you too!  I love all of you." She looks up and scans the room.  She felt so loved.  Jessica knew it was going to be difficult, but she wanted to change for her family.