The streets of England were silent when I crept out of my house at the brink of dawn with a basket in one hand and the trunk in the other, feet walking to the port but mind still stuck on yesterday's events. The image of Greg spilling our secrets and Lila's face of sheer terror at the news were engraved in my memory, replaying over and over in my mind as I failed at falling asleep last night.

After Lila left me at the port to go tell Fiona what was going on I'd sat there for hours, head full of thoughts, until I grew too tired to stand and walked home, begging for morning to come so that I could board a boat to my hometown, my heart full of disbelief, exhaustion, and excitement. But when I awoke at 4:00 am this morning to leave, I hadn't expected it to be so hard to say goodbye to England and my family.

I could feel my heart squeeze with pain and tears slide down my cheeks as I crept into my parent's room and kissed my Mother goodbye, thinking of all the pain I was about to cause her. How would she survive when I was gone? I might be thinking vainly, but I was sure she would miss me, especially since now she would have no one to talk to when she was alone with Father. Ignoring the guilt that seemed to compress my heart I quickly left the room, knowing that if I stayed any longer my mind would change.

I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to Joseph, who now lived in a huge mansion with Sophia; but I didn't want to leave without at least mentally saying farewell, so I crept into his old bedroom and took one of his sweaters to remind me of him and stuffed it in my basket along with matches, paper, ink and a quill, and a stack of books I found in Joseph's desk.

I felt slightly guilty for taking his things, but I needed it more than he did, and I hoped he'd understand. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Charlie either; not that I was sad about that, but I was wondering if he was asleep, and when he woke if he would be worried about me.

And that's when it came to me; I didn't have to be married anymore! My heart lifted, and I felt my determination grow. No more pretending to love a man I didn't, no more kissing for show, no more standing at the sidelines. It was like a breath of fresh air after being in a stuffy room for hours; I felt energized and full of excitement, despite the lack of sleep. I was finally achieving my dream of returning to Virginia, and no one was going to stop me.

And with that misleading thought I stepped outside, left my home, and set off on the biggest journey I've ever embarked on.

As I walked to the port I could tell my nerves were on edge despite my excitement; last nights events had me spooked, and every rustle of the trees or chirp of the birds made my heart race lightning fast and my feet stop in fear. When I was about halfway there I got the idea of throwing the soldiers off my trail, and decided it was worth doing it, despite Lila warning me to move as quickly as possible.

I did a quick turn around until I was at the edge of the market. It was still dark out, which would work to my advantage; the people strolling the market and the sellers wouldn't be able to recognize my face, but just in case I took some dirt from the road and smeared it on my face and my rag tag dress I'd found in the back of my closet from when we first arrived from Virginia. It was small and unbearably tight on me but would work, and I walked into the market, nodding to a few early buyers that passed by.

I then walked into the nearest open bookstore, looking at the ground and money bouncing in my pocket. "Hello," I said in my best raspy voice to the man at the counter, who gave me a look of disgust. "What do you need?" He said in a gruff voice, and I asked him if he had a specific book on marriage. "Why do you need it?" The man said as he grabbed a book called You Have The Ring, Now What? and handed it to me. "It's not like a hag like you is getting married." He scoffed, and I felt anger boil inside of me, but I forced it down, remembering my purpose of being here.

"I'm trying to get a wedding gift for the future Lady Buckingham. I saw her at the fruit stall in the market before the party, talking about how she didn't know anything about being married, and I thought this would be a good book for her." I said, and the store owner forcefully gave me the book and I gave gave him my money before power-walking outside, wanting to be rid of him as soon as possible.

Then I sulked around the alley and reluctantly teared the pages of the book (even though the book was sexist a book was a book and I hated tearing them) and used my quill to write small margins like "ask mother," or "would Eddie like this?" before scattering the pages, scraps of fabric, and some locks of my hair around the market in a trail that led to the public believed rebel's hideout (it really wasn't but Eddie thought so and told the public).

Hopefully this small bits of evidence would help the Shadow Group make my story of disappearing more believable and make it easier for the Shadow Group to move on and cover up whatever might happen with the information that Greg gave away.

But now it was time to get to the port. Even though it was deathly early and only few stalls and stores were open the city was still beginning to wake up, and once it did I had no way of getting to the port without being seen. So with a final look at my made-up trail of evidence I began to run through the edges of town, reaching my destination inch by inch. When I finally did arrive at the port the stars were beginning to fade from the sky, and men were beginning to emerge from their boats for another day of hard work.

That's when it really hit into me. I was finally leaving. It was so crazy; I would (hopefully) never have to see Sophia's face again, never have to pretend to be something I'm not, never have to please others. Now I would just please myself, and the Shadow Group. I took a deep breath of salt air and embraced England's sights and sounds for one final time and muttered the England anthem, my silent goodbye. Then with a focused deep breath I put my plan into place.

As silent as I could be I snuck down the dock, ducking behind nearby trees and undergrowth, careful not to be caught by a sailor's wary eye. My goal was to board the nearest ship, which I found out from three loud-mouthed sailormen was going to Virginia, and sneak into the cargo area without being caught. But it wasn't going to be an easy feat; smugglers who were caught were arrested and sometimes even hung, which I couldn't afford to happen, especially now.

That's when I pulled the match out of my basket and crept along the bushes surrounding the port, until I was close enough to touch the dock. Then I carefully used my hands to ply a wooden plank from the dock, leaving a small hole. It slightly worried me that it was that easy, but now wasn't the time to think about England issues. It was time to put the first part of the plan in place, which was all I needed to focus on.

Right when the cargo men were carrying a particularly heavy box I lit the plank until it was bursting with flame and quickly chucked towards the men before diving under the bushes. Heart pounding, I sneaked a look over the foliage to see the cargo men fanning the burning plank, trying to stop the fire from spreading. As they did that I dove next to the ship and pressed myself against it, careful not to slip and fall into the watery depths below.

It only had a few minutes to find a way to board the ship before the cargo men noticed me, and frantically looking around I noticed a thin rope ladder that led to the top of the boat, and I wondered if it was possible to climb up and pull myself over.

Thinking it was worth a shot I used all my strength to climb up the rope with one hand while I held my basket and the trunk in the other, not at all thinking about what I was going to do when I got on the boat. That's when I felt the ladder begin to shift beneath me. Heart racing with fear I let out a muffled cry as I was suddenly pulled over the edge of the boat and onto the deck.

I landed on the boats deck with a small oof, and looking up I saw a young sailorman staring down at me, a cigar in his mouth. "Well what do we have here, a stowaway?" He scoffed, and I scrambled to my feet, praying he wouldn't recognize me. He didn't seem too, and I didn't look in his eyes, hoping he wouldn't suddenly remember my face. "I'm not a stowaway sir," I said in a low, scruffy voice, and the sailorman laughed cruelly.

"You can't fool me woman. Come on, lets bring you to the general." He said, and when he noticed the fear that sparked in my eyes he laughed harder. "Aha! I can tell by your fear you are indeed a stowaway. Now I know I can make some real money." He made a lunge for me but I dodged, desperate to make him let me stay. "Please sir, let me go down to the cargo and stay there. I won't disturb you, and it would mean so much to me if I could just stay here. I'll pay you, I promise." I pleaded, widening my eyes in despair.

The sailor looked at me like I was crazy. "I'd get more money for you if I turned you in." He said, and I resorted to the worst case scenario option that I was ashamed of; deception and using my looks too my advantage. "Sir, I'm only running away because my father wants me to be married to a man I don't love. I come from a very rich family, and he will be very upset if you turn me into the general and bring disrespect to my family." I said, and the sailorman narrowed his eyes skeptically.

"Why should I believe you?" He said, and I showed him my hand, which displayed my gorgeous engagement ring. His eyes widened, and I knew it was time to trick him like I did to Eddie. Still avoding his eyes but making sure he could see my features I moved closer to him until we were centimeters apart, and I leaned into whisper in his ear.

"You're very attractive, do you know that?" I said, watching him blush and playing with one of his shirt buttons. "Let me stay in the ship cargo, and when we arrive I'm sure we'll be very good friends." I said, and the sailorman, to my delight, caved in.

"Alright, alright. You can stay in the cargo under one condition. If you survive by the time we arrive you send your father a letter for money and stay with me." He said, and I nodded earnestly. "Anything for you...?" I asked, and he puffed out his chest. "Liam." He said, and I looked him and up and down like Eddie did to me. "Liam." I said silkily, and his neck turned scarlet.

But then he straightened up and gave me a scruffy look, and I was scared that he was about to change his mind. "There are rats and skeletons down there, you know. You could die from the weight of the cargo, and if we capsize you're the first to go." He said, and I felt my stomach tighten. "I'm aware of that Liam, but I've never met a more dashing sailorman." I said, and my heart soared as the sailor chuckled and clumsily put his arm through mine.

"You are just a woman, anyway. But if anyone asks I didn't help you." He said, before shooing me away when the other sailorman began to proud the ship. Even though I was stung by his comment I thanked him and scrambled down an open hatch in the boat that led down to the cargo. As I crept down the hatch I felt myself suck in my breath to stop myself gagging from the stench of death and leather that lingered in the down part of the ship.

When I finally emerged from the hatch I found myself in the low, cramped belly of the ship, surrounded by boxes and boxes of cargo. Crawling so that my head wouldn't hit the ceiling I scrambled over to an open corner of the ship that was surrounded by a wall of cargo. I snuck in the opening and situated myself into the corner until I was somewhat comfortable, drawing my basket closer to myself.

I sat down there for about five hours, wondering if anyone was worrying about me yet and anxious for the ship to move when it finally did, the cargo moving onto the other side along with it. While I was protecting myself for moving items by using the trunk to block boxes I didn't notice a huge rat chewing on my basket until it fell onto my lap.

I let out a scream and swatted at it until it ran away, leaving me shaking at the thought of being bit and infected. But for the next two hours there weren't any rats, and I swayed to the moving of the ship and plotted ways on how I was going to shake Liam off when the ship reached Virginia and mused on how easily he had given into me. After being engaged and being around Sophia for so long I'd learned that if there was one thing that being a young, pretty, rich girl with no rights I could at least get what I wanted.

About another hour later I began to grow hungry, and I opened my basket and pulled out my belongings. Inside the basket were four casual work dresses, one formal dress, two aprons, two cardigans, matches, books, quill, ink, paper, and a bundle of food.

I pulled out the bundle of food and unwrapped it from it's protective cloth and selected a piece of stale bread and cheese to satisfy my hunger for the time being. I nibbled on the food, savoring every crumb, knowing that I had to save my rations for a month, before throwing up from the rocking ship.

After a few more hours I lost track of time, and kicked myself for it. I was planning of writing a tally mark whenever I thought an hour passed, but I had gotten lost in one of Joseph's books that I'd never read before that I'd let it slip past me. Now I shivering from the cold, I pulled on one of my cardigans and wrapped the food safely into the basket before laying down on the cold hard ground of the ship and drifting off to sleep.

. . .

I awoke with a start to find my stomach clawing with hunger and my back as stiff as a board. Pulling myself up, I glanced around the daft ship bottom and wondered what time of day it was, or if it was day at all. It seemed like I had slept for the whole journey, but yet the ship was still moving forward.

For a second my insides froze with fear at the thought of the ship already arriving in Virginia and then being on the journey back. I calmed down by reminding myself that it was impossible for me to sleep for a whole month at least, and decided that I was going to find out what day it was after I had something to eat.

Stretching, I eagerly unwrapped the bundle and pulled out a jar of jam and five pieces of bread, along with two jars of clean water. I glugged down the jar of water after I devoured the "toast," relishing the taste of food. Then I stood up and crept past the moving cargo and too the hatch, which to my luck when jiggled was unlocked.

I carefully peeked out of it and saw warm sunlight streaming down through the hatch and three sailormen pacing the deck. "Another beautiful day on The Washington," one sailormen said sarcastically. The other one chuckled and took a swig of beer, while the third one let out a sigh. "It's only the second day men. We have a whole month ahead." The three exchanged grim nods before disappearing into their cabins, leaving me full of despair but relief. Even though the ship wasn't even close to Virginia it was still something, and I was prepared to wait.

But as I crawled back down to the cargo, dodging moving boxes and trying to ignore the stench of death that lingered everywhere, I couldn't help but be elated. Even though it was a long way away from Virginia we were still on the right track, slowly but surely making our way to the one thing I've been craving and wishing for for so long.

I was almost home.