Suki woke up with her heart racing and her breathing erratic. Sweat made her cold hands clammy while a familiar fear gripped her. She knew what was happening so she tried to sit up, but her body refused to move. Weary of fighting a losing battle, she lay there with her eyes closed and let the episode run its course.

Her panic attacks started when she was ten years old. Before then, she had a great life with everything a little girl could ever imagine - loving parents, great friends at school, and all the books she ever wanted! They even lived in a house of their own in a quaint, artsy community near the bay. Then one night, a loud noise jolted her awake. She went to find her parents at their bedroom, but they were not there so she went downstairs to check. At the time, the only thing she feared were monsters lurking in her closet. Surely, there were no monsters in the living room.

That was when she heard the sound of her mother crying. A cold chill suddenly swept up her body. She knew something was terribly wrong. Her mother never cried.

She ran to the kitchen, where the sound was coming from and stumbled upon a sight she never thought she would ever see in her life. Her mother was crouched by the sink with her hands covering her face while her father was kicking her over and over again. There was broken glass around them and the room had a strange smell. Later on, she learned it was the smell of whiskey.

"Dad?" she cried, horrified.

Both of her parents turned to look at her then. Her mother stood up and rushed towards her, paying no mind to the shards of broken glass wounding her feet along the way. She remembered her mother embracing her, shielding her from the sight of her father.

"Everything's okay, honey! Go back to bed," her mother said reassuringly.

She tried to pull away to catch a glimpse of her father. "Why was Daddy kicking you? What's wrong, Mommy?"

"Nothing's wrong. It's all a misunderstanding. Go back to bed." She nudged Suki towards the stairs.

Not wanting to upset her mother more, Suki started walking back to her bedroom. Upon reaching the top, she turned back and saw her father holding her mother by the hair saying over and over again, "This is all your fault!"

"Daddy, no!"

She screamed and tried to run towards them, but a sudden dizziness stopped her in her tracks. She couldn't breathe. She was falling.

The next time she opened her eyes, she was at the hospital with her mother fast asleep by her bedside.

"Mommy?"

"Suki!"

Her mother sat up, looking at her with worried eyes. She brushed the hair away from Suki's face and said, "How are you feeling, baby?"

"What happened, Mommy? Why am I at the hospital?"

"You fell down the stairs, darling, so you have to stay here for a bit."

Suki looked around. "Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy's at home."

She then held Suki's hand in hers and explained, "Listen, baby. Right now, Daddy's not feeling very well so we have to help him. Let's not tell anyone about what happened last night, okay?"

"But he was hurting you, Mommy! Why was Daddy hurting you?" she asked, tears falling down her face.

She loved her father very much. He was her Superman, but she couldn't forget what she saw. How could the man who she thought would always love and protect her turn into a villain?

"It was Mommy's fault. I did something to upset, Daddy. He's very sorry about it now so let's forgive him and not tell anyone, okay? If you tell someone, they might tell the police and the police will come and take daddy away. You don't want that, do you?"

Suki shook her head while her mother wiped her tears away.

"Pinky swear you won't tell anyone?"

"Okay, I pinky swear."

Suki didn't want anyone to take her Daddy away. Maybe tomorrow, everything will be all right.

******

"Suki? Are you awake?"

A knock on her door and the sound of Devin's voice brought her back to the present.

"Devin..." Suki forced herself to calm down.

The door opened and she saw Devin poking his head in to check on her. When he saw her agonized look, he rushed inside.

"Suki? What's wrong?"

"Pa... panic... at..attack," she stammered.

He climbed in bed to prop her back up against his chest. He then brushed her hair away from her face and told her, "Suki, you have to breathe slowly. Follow me, okay?"

He then proceeded to take deep breaths, encouraging her to do the same until she managed to do so on her own.

"Calm down, everything's fine," he whispered into her ear. His hands rubbed the sides of her arms.

Eventually, her breathing went back to normal and the anxiety clouding her thoughts began to fade away. As she regained control of her senses, she started noticing the position they were in and felt a warm blush rise up her cheeks.

"I'm okay now," she said, her voice barely distinguishing itself from the sound of her breathing.

"I'm glad," he said against her neck.

Careful not to make any sudden movements, Devin pulled himself away. Then, he got out of bed and crouched on the floor in front of her. His brown eyes swept across her face.

Suki stared back. He was dressed casually in a gray sweater with the sleeves rolled up and distressed black jeans. His hair was still wet and he smelled like freshly washed cotton. When her eyes met his again, she quickly looked down.

"This is the second time I've been your breathing coach," he said with a light tone. "I should charge you the next time this happens."

She gave him a small smile, but that was all she was willing to give.

"Actually," he went on after awhile, "I came to check on you because I have to go out right now to pick something up from the office. It might take me an hour so I didn't want to leave without telling you in case you woke up."

"Oh," she said while pushing the blanket away from her feet. "I can leave in five minutes. Sorry for keeping you!"

He held her arm with a chuckle. "No, I didn't come here to kick you out. Actually, I was hoping you'd wait until I come back. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I really have to go in a few minutes."

"I'm not sure..." Suki pushed back strands of hair from her face. This allowed her to better scrutinize him.

"Please." Devin accompanied his plea with eyes that reflected the dazzle of his smile. For a minute, Suki was blinded.

"Besides, you can't leave without having some of the breakfast I made. Plus, I noticed you didn't have a phone so I left my spare iPad at the dining table. You can use it to browse the web if you need," he went on.

Suki looked down to shutter herself against the onslaught of his charm. As she contemplated the fibers on the bed cover, she whispered, "Why are you doing this?"

It took Devin awhile to respond so Suki flickered her gaze towards him. His eyes looked sad, almost like he felt sorry for her.

"Because it's the right thing to do."

Suki wrinkled her brow at his response. "I... You don't have to do this."

"I know, but I want to do it anyway. So will you wait until I come back? It will only take an hour, max."

Suki sighed. He confused her. She didn't know what to make of him, but at the same time, what was one more hour? If he had wanted to hurt her, he would have done so while she was asleep. Besides, she hadn't been able to make any concrete plans last night so this worked in her favor. This will give her some time to check the web and make a few arrangements.

"Okay, I'll wait for you."

"Great!" Devin stood back up and made his way to the door. He was beaming once again. "I'm going, then. Don't miss me too much."

He gave her another playful wink before closing the door.

She rolled her eyes. He really should stop winking like that. She had never understood why people did that. It was weird.

When the door shut behind him, she got out of bed. Then she walked to the bathroom and wondered about what he was going to tell her. She considered the answers as she stood by the sink, but she was taken aback by the face in the mirror. Suki was smiling.

Why? she thought with a frown.

Devin's laughing face, while he winked at her, came to mind. Her smile reappeared.

"Snap out of it, Suki! Focus, focus, focus." With soft hands, she hit her cheeks.

You will never see him after today, and that's for the best.

As soon as the words flashed through her mind, she felt the hands of sadness rattle a door to her heart she had never opened before. She glanced back at the mirror and saw the face she had always known. That was more like it.