"Even I think it's a date, Gerard, come on, they're getting to you or something, if you're going to be so insistent that you genuinely don't have feelings for him, but I'm just looking at this realistically, and I really reckon you're going to get down on your knees for him at some point in the next week." Lindsey took a sip of her coffee as she eyed Gerard's reaction: flushed cheeks and very little to say for himself, much as she'd expected.

The two had gone for a Starbucks together, on the false premise of incentive for marking, but they both knew by now that absolutely no work was going to get done, but with Brendon Urie as the head teacher, who could expect anything more from anyone?

"Lindsey, just... stop it, okay?" Gerard rolled his eyes, hiding his face with his hair, in the least successful manner possible, of course. "I don't like him, well, I like him, as friends, you know, but not like... I'm not, for the first time in my life, there is nothing gay about this."

Lindsey scoffed, meeting Gerard's gaze as she did so, "believe it or not, I find that rather hard to believe, you know?"

"Do you?" Gerard rolled his eyes, "fucking good for you, Lindsey, it's like you fucking want me to date him as well."

"I just want you to be happy, Gerard, and I'm just getting signs that he makes you happy, you know? With spending all this time with him?" She continued, smirking a little as she did so, which was seriously something do with just how red Gerard's face was getting.

"He's my friend." Gerard continued, groaning a little, "I'm allowed to spend time with him, am I not?"

"It's a little different when you stare at his ass so much, and when everyone reckons you're fucking, because I mean, rumours don't just come out of nothing, do they?" Lindsey raised her eyebrows as she sipped at her coffee.

"It's apparent that they do." Gerard snapped, shaking his head at her, as if to disown her as his friend. "Shut up about this, or I'm giving you all the shit classes next year."

"You always give me all the shit classes, Gerard." She reminded him, "how about if I shut up about this, you won't give me all of the shit classes?"

"Come on, Lindsey, you know if I have to teach those 'I took art because it's easy' dickheads then I will shoot myself." And Gerard reckoned he wasn't even exaggerating, not much anyway.

"Oh but Gee, what would Frank say if you shot yourself?" Lindsey pouted, her voice overdramatised, and with the sole intent of taking the fucking piss. "He'd be all sad, and you don't want that now, do you? Because you wouldn't be a very good boyfriend to him then, would you?"

"Lindsey, we're not fucking dating, oh my god." Gerard exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief, as he did genuinely consider throwing his coffee at her. "I wish I had something to piss you off with, you know?"

"You piss me off everyday and just by existing, Gerard, don't fucking worry, you've got that covered." Lindsey grinned at him in the most friendly manner known to mankind.

"You know, Frank is actually much nicer to me than you are, Lindsey." Gerard shook his head in disbelief, "maybe I should recruit him as my new best friend, what do you think?"

Lindsey laughed it off, "I wonder why that is! He just wants you so bad, Gerard, like seriously, this is just getting annoying because you won't admit it, you know?"

"Good, I'm glad you're fucking annoyed, Lindsey." He added, the buzz of his cellphone interrupting their conversation, and thankfully so, in Gerard's mind.

"Hey?" He answered, without even looking at the caller I.D., because he totally hadn't been caught up with glaring at Lindsey or anything.

"Hey, Mr Way, you won't believe what I just found out!" And it was only then that Gerard truly regretted giving Chantal his number; it had totally been just for homework, because her email got hacked or something, and not anything to do with Frank, but she'd taken to giving him daily updates on Frank's life and the gossip of the school, and Gerard had become far more okay with it than he would ever admit.

"What?" He asked, ignoring Lindsey's constant attempts to ask him it was, because she'd seriously fucking kill him if she found out that he also so casually had a somewhat more than professional relationship with Chantal Claret, but okay, it was nothing in comparison to the school in general, because he hadn't even thought about kissing her - thank god he was gay, basically, because that would be the only thing stopping Lindsey from calling him a pedophile if she ever found out who was on the other end.

"Well... I'm.... sir, I'm at a sex shop right now, and I wasn't even stalking him, but he's there, and I had something like a heart attack when I saw him, and I'm hiding and like this is why I'm whispering but I'm trying to get a photo, because he's gonna buy this absolutely massive dildo, sir, I-... shit-"

And then she hung up, and Gerard was left staring blankly at Lindsey with very little to say for himself, as something close to a heart attack occurred in his chest.

"Well?" Lindsey met his gaze, raising her eyebrows a little, as she did so.

"Uhh..." Gerard blushed, about to slide his phone back into his pocket, before the text from Chantal popped up at the top of his screen, and knowing instantly what it was, Gerard fucking dropped his phone onto the table.

And needless to say, Lindsey snatched it, opening the message instantly, and Gerard was left there to die as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, "holy shit, Gerard, I- wait is that Chantal Claret? What the fuck are you- are you getting your students to stalk him for you-"

"No, she's just- she just is, I didn't ask her to, but I don't even, I-"

"That's a fucking big dildo." Lindsey shook her head in disbelief as she handed Gerard his phone back. "Are you gonna start feeling self conscious about your dick now, because I'm not prepared to handle that, you know?"

"I... I don't like him, I-"

"You? How many kids do you have stalking him for you?"

"I don't have any- I just... Chantal has my number because her email got hacked and she needed help with the homework, and she may or may not have become something like my friend at some point after that, I'm not a creep, I promise."

"Yeah, you're not, Gee, but that fucking dildo, I... he is." Lindsey shook her head in disbelief. "I am not going to be able to look him in the eyes ever again."

-

And the fact that Frank was blushing had nothing to do with the fact that it may or may not be a date, because it really was not a date, and they may or may not have been the only people who had turned up, but it wasn't like Gerard hadn't been expecting that, and it wasn't like Frank was happy about that or anything.

And it totally wasn't like Lindsey had noticed from her room, and it totally wasn't like she was considering locking the door behind them, because she totally didn't want something to happen between the two of them, totally.

Frank let out an awkward kind of blushy sigh, as he glanced around once more, "uhh..." He added, dragging the sound out as he did so. "So... I thought... people... I-"

"Yeah," Gerard let out an awkward laugh, "so did I... people just... I don't even know..."

"People want us to date." Frank finished for him, smiling a little as he did so, and blushing, but that was pretty much a given by now. "It's... a little weird, also all I seem to be forced into talking about in class..."

"Is talking about me really so much of a bore?" Gerard asked, raising his eyebrows, "I'm a pretty interesting guy, I reckon," he leaned back against his desk, and even by that point, it was pretty obvious that there was going to be little but awkward flirting occurring. "I do have a habit of talking about the same things... you know, art, and France, and... well... you sometimes, but that's not intentional, honestly..."

"It's fine, well all have interests." Frank let out a giggle, "and it's not your fault if I'm one of them, in fact I'm something like very flattered... something like that anyway..." He let out a sigh, grimacing a little as he mind flickered back to Max and home and everything he already had, and this asshole beside him with the pretty face, whom he couldn't help but hate with such an incredible enthusiasm.

"That's not what I meant." Gerard narrowed his eyes, jumping a little as he phone vibrated against the desk behind him. He rolled his eyes in Frank's direction, before reaching to pick it up and scan the message he'd received from Mikey. "It's my brother... he's in Japan... on a honeymoon for a wedding he didn't have."

"Oh?" Frank raised his eyebrows, curious. "Was it a divorce? Or... I'm slightly confused? What did she walk out on him or something?"

"He." Gerard corrected, meeting Frank's name. "My brother's name is Mikey, and his boyfriend is called Pete, and they've been in Japan forever together, and I feel like they're just making excuses not to get on with their lives, but I don't particularly blame them. They're good together anyway, and they've been together for years, so I don't see why they didn't actually get married, but whatever, it's not my life... I'm not much for marriage anyway."

"Oh, why not?" Frank asked, in a casual heterosexual way, because he was taking no interest in Gerard's personal life for his own benefit, of course.

"Never saw the point: it's just money and a big mess, isn't it?" Gerard let out a sigh, "I suppose it's a pretty good excuse to go to France, though, but... I don't want to just go to France, like.. I want to take students there and show them it... I know it sounds ridiculous because I work here, but I actually like teaching."

Frank scoffed, his eyes widening a little. "I like the long holidays, and I don't really have to do anything here, so... I like that, I do kind of like the kids though, it's amusing, you know, better than sleep deprived balding middle aged men who won't look away from their accounting work, isn't it?"

"Definitely!" Gerard exclaimed, glancing at yet another text from Mikey, and letting out a sigh, "I feel like he's doing it just to rub it into my face half the time: you know, the whole, look me and my cute boyfriend and our perfect relationship, and... yeah... I've been single for a while..." Gerard let out an awkward sigh, blushing a little. "Too long, more than a while, but it's not like I'm desperate or even particularly looking anyway, I have to think excessively about the trip to France otherwise the world might just end."

"Of course." Frank added, a small smile gracing his lips. "It really doesn't look like anyone else is turning up, does it?"

Gerard shook his head, "you can just leave if you want, I don't mind, I mean, Mikey's probably going to Skype me in a minute anyway, and I mean, you\re my excuse to ignore him, but I probably should talk to the brother half way across the world."

"What if I don't want to leave?" Frank asked, blushing a little. "What if I can't think of bigger and better things to do?"

And in that very moment, Gerard had to remember the dildo, in all of its renowned glory.

And he was pretty sure he couldn't breathe.

"Uhh... I..." He choked out, his cheeks red and oh fuck, and he kind of felt sorry for Frank who didn't know that three people he saw on a daily basis knew about the massive dildo he'd bought at the weekend.

"What's wrong- are you okay?" Frank asked, his eyes widening with concern, as he stepped closer to Frank.

"Yeah, I just..." He shook his head, leaning back and sighing a little, "it's just this stupid thing I remembered... and don't ask me to tell you, because I won't."

"Okay, okay." Frank smiled awkwardly, and naively too, "I won't."

"But I kind of want to mention it to you, because it's something you know but you don't know that I know, but it's going to be horrible for you if you do know that I do, so basically if I did the nice thing here: I wouldn't tell you but I don't know what I'm going to do, so you can make that decision."

Frank's eyes widened, pausing to consider it for a moment. "I... I don't know.... I'm really curious, but I... is it a bad thing?"

"I'd say it's amusing more than anything." Gerard added, letting out an awkward kind of breathy laugh as the two finally made eye contact.

"Alright, tell me, but if you're an ass about it, I will slap you." Frank stepped closer to Gerard, narrowing his gaze a little.

"Okay..." Gerard let out a sigh, preparing himself, and that wasn't the best choice of words on the subject of dildos, but whatever. "Well, you know how you said you can't think of bigger and better things to do?" Frank nodded, just a little tentatively, "well, I think you can, because I may or may not have heard about a visit to the sex shop you had at the weekend, and I may or may not have seen a picture of the world's biggest dildo-"

Needless to say, Frank slapped Gerard across the face at that moment, gasping a little in shock.

"Motherfucker." Frank shook his head in disbelief, not even quite sure what to think of the man before him.

"No, but seriously, you can fit that in your ass?" Gerard exclaimed, his eyes widening in intrigue. "Like, I could not do that - it's respectable... almost I'm slightly curious, tell me your secrets, if that's not weird, that's weird, but shit, how hard must you come like that?"

"This is an awkward conversation." Frank added, blushing more than just a little this time, "but yeah, lube, lots of lube... also maybe I have some sort of size kink, but you're never going to mention that to anyone- wait, how did you know? Who the fuck knows about this? If this is going around school I'm gonna-"

"It's not, don't worry, just me, Lindsey, and Chantal Claret know... Chantal was the one who saw you actually, and she sent me the photo, and I was with Lindsey at the time, and she saw it by accident." Gerard admitted, momentarily overlooking the fact that it probably wasn't normal for him to have Chantal's number.

"You have Chantal's number? That's... a... bit..." Frank trailed off, biting his lip, "I feel like I can't insult you again for fear you'll just bring up that thing now, I just-"

"Hey, I promise we won't speak of it again unless you want to - go ahead and insult me all you like." Gerard grinned, still blushing a little, because this really wasn't a heterosexual conversation at all, and dear god, if someone walked in and heard them, fuck, just fuck.

"You're an asshole." Frank shook his head, "but seriously, you have Chantal's number? You're not fucking her, are you?"

"Dear god, no, I'm not that straight, and I'm not fucking anyone, just so you know, not that you need to know, but... I'm single, and gay, and Chantal is underage and probably straight... actually I don't know... I should ask- no I shouldn't, that's really not appropriate, is it?"

Frank let out a small smile, shaking his head, "no Mr Way, it's really not."

"Don't 'Mr Way' me, that makes me feel really awkward, you know? Even when students call me it, like... I don't know, I'm not that important, am I?" He asked, running a hand back through his hair.

"Alright then, Mr Way." Frank continued, smirking like the fucking asshole he indeed was.

"Mr Iero." Gerard added, narrowing his eyes, "fuck you."

"You pronounced it right? I'm impressed, I really am, Mr Way." Frank let out a laugh, before glancing at his cellphone, "I'm sorry but I really need a smoke before lunch ends, you know so-"

"I'll join you... if you don't mind, of course, Mr Iero?" Gerard raised his eyebrows slightly, as he grabbed his jacket and followed Frank through the fire door to an awkward little secluded spot near the fence.

"I didn't know you smoked." Frank began as he lit his cigarette, glancing at the older man as he did so.

"I didn't know you did either." Gerard countered, leaning back against the wall, a grin hugging his lips, "you don't look like much of a smoker, though, you know? With the cardigan, and all?"

"Fuck you, Mr Way, cardigans are fucking fashionable, and cosy, and cute, I look cute as fuck, don't I?" Frank argued, perhaps grinning more than necessary as he did so.

"Well, I can't argue with that, can I, Mr Iero?" Gerard sighed a little, because yes, this was getting exceedingly pathetic now, and he was more than well aware of that.

"Why ever not, Mr Way?" Frank continued, well aware that they sounded like fucking idiots, but becoming oddly comfortable with the notion.

"Because I'm not a liar, I don't think, not in excess, anyway, at least I wouldn't say so, but we're all biased towards ourselves, aren't we?"

"I guess." Frank shrugged, stepping closer to Gerard as he did so. "But I am damn cute, though."

"Of course."

And that was that, awkward smiles and blushes, and an awkward incident buried as Frank forgot about his boyfriend and Gerard forgot about his dignity, and the two seemed to separate from the whole world out there, shrouded in cigarette thoughts and lazy kind of pathetic thoughts with no reason to be thought, besides idiocy, of course.

-

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