"Zubair. That's enough. He is already out. Calm down, man." Someone said.

I didn't have the energy to even look up. I still gripped onto the edge of the table, supporting my body. The pain traveled up my spine swiftly every time I moved. So I stayed put, focusing on my surrounding, unconsciously.

Fareed was on the ground. Zubair was standing looking over him. His clenched fists were shaking beside his fuming body. His veins were visible in his arms. He breathed quick and loud breaths.

"Zubair. We'll take care of him." I saw that there were two guys there, Shahid and Raiz probably. They gave me a cursory glance before going towards Fareed, and picking him up. Both of them had Fareed's arms over their shoulder and supported his weight. His feet were dragging over the floor. He groaned in pain. His eyes were closed. His face bruised and lip bleeding. Once they went out, someone shut the door.

I was still holding onto the table in my rigid position with my head hung low. I didn't know what to make of the situation. What just happened and what am I doing right now? Just then a figure appeared in front of me. Zubair stood facing me.

"I told you not to meet him." He said solemnly.

I gulped. I never was scared of him. Actually, whenever he got angry, it was mutual and I was equally angry at him. But this time I felt different. I wasn't exactly afraid of him, but shaken at his tone. Because he was furious. Deadly. Damn serious. And I knew he would snap if I said something ridiculous.

I ever so slowly, looked up. I gasped at what I saw.

His eyes were red. His face was contorted in anger. Veins visible on his temple.

I held his gaze, trying not to show my fear.

"I didn't. He came in, and locked the door. I couldn't do anything." I said my voice cracking at the end.

He sighed. A heavy sigh, and he looked up defeated.

Then next thing I know, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I didn't move, because I knew it would pain if I did. But instead of putting pressure on the table top, I leaned into his body. And the relief that washed through me was comforting. His soft T-shirt caressed my cheek as I leaned into him. This was all I needed right now. A warm hug. One which would welcome me and let me forget my pain. My guilt. And let me plunge into a place where nothing bothered me. He slowly touched the back of my head and caressed it. His other hand touched the small of my back. Then he ran his hand over my back up and down in a soothing rhythm. It calmed me down.

"Are you alright, Zaira? Did he do something to you?" He asked in a painful voice after a minute of silence.

My voice betrayed me. I couldn't talk. So I shook my head in denial.

"Please, tell me the truth. I heard him. His maniacal laugh and yells. I really didn't want this. I shouldn't have left you alone. It's my fault. I am sorry." He said sadly.

I just burried my head in his shoulders and calmed my heart. It was alright.

Allah is with me. And that's all I need. It was all a test. And no matter how much Zubair hates me and I hate him, he will always continue to look after me. And I could count on him for that. He'd keep his promise.

I returned his warm hug by wrapping my arms around his torso. When I thought of him hating me, I felt a little displeasure, and I tightened my hold on him. But I knew it was my fault. For always jumping into conclusions and believing my theories without ever listening to him or confronting him on the incident.

We stayed like that for a longtime, in which I absorbed his warmth.

"Come on. The rain will stop soon and they will call us again. Can you walk?" He inquired in a throaty voice breaking the silence. He pulled away, but still held me by my shoulders. I nodded in response to his question.

He still held my shoulders as I tried taking one step forward, but the shock of pain traveled through my spine again, and I couldn't help but scream in pain. My eyes glazed because of the excruciating pain I was feeling. I felt like I was being  electrocuted.

"Zaira! Are okay?" He asked frantically as I screamed in pain, and snaked an arm around my waist. Every time I took a step forward, the current went up, but gradually, the intensity with which they came lessened. And I barely made it to the couch with his help, before I collapsed onto it.

He sat beside me on the couch, with little distance between us.

He turned towards me as I silently watched ahead. Then he slowly lifted his hands to my head and held my hijab. He removed the loosely wrapped shawl around my head in careful movements and placed it on the armrest. He turned towards me again and untied my hair which was held by a band. My hair fell around me ceremoniously like a curtain. I felt weird. It wasn't the first time he was seeing me without the hijab, infact it was the third or fourth. But still, I was nervous.

Then he grabbed one of the towel which had been lying on the couch since he had left. He unfolded it. And put it over my head and dried my hair.

While he did so, I drifted into my world of chaos. Was this the real Zubair? Did he really care for me?

He then put the towel over my head and reached for his jacket which I was currently wearing on top of my shirt. He proceeded to slowly peel the wet jacket off my shoulders. He removed it completely and placed it on top of the armrest. Then he wiped the water on my neck and face with the towel slowly. I felt goosebumps when his knuckles grazed my neck.

He suddenly stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked tensed.

"To get the spare clothes." He said reassuring me.

Then he went out of the doorway, and picked up a duffel bag from the floor. He came back and sat beside me. He fished out a few clothes from it. A hoodie which reached up to the knees and a long jacket. He took out another black T-shirt and a pair of black jeans.

He held out my clothes. "Here, these are the only ones I think you could wear. But I don't have any pants for you. Sorry."

"It's fine. Thank you." I said and got up. The pain didn't shoot up this time. Maybe because I had been sitting around for quite a while now. But my back was a little sore.

"Can you walk alone?"

"Yes."

I walked up to the washroom, and was turning the knob when he stopped me.

"Zaira."

"Yeah?" I asked without turning. There wasn't any reply. So I turned around and met his tall body standing near me. I flinched in shock at his close proximity. Then he reached his hand forward and touched my shirt near my stomach. Goosebumps arouse in my body at the sudden contact. My heart probably entered my throat ready to come out. My heart started it's all the more familiar pace now. I first looked at him with wide eyes but saw that his were dark, with anger and he was looking down.
So I looked down. To see a tear in my shirt.

"What's this?" He asked in a low, angry voice.

I furrowed my brows as I examined it. "It must be when he pushed me on the table." I thought for a second and my mind searched for other possibilities. And I carefully looked up.

"Or......."

I didn't finish the sentence. I couldn't think of how to tell him of what Fareed might have done. But I could tell that he understood me when I saw his expression turn to guilt and hurt. He took away his hand from the tear and I immediately realized that my skin was showing underneath, so I quickly turned away and entered the washroom.

Once I did, I closed the door quickly and rested my head against it. I clutched my wet shirt and calmed down my weak heart. What's happening to me?

***

After peeling my wet clothes off my body, I washed. I scrubbed each and every corner, my neck, face, wrist and shoulder especially. Every place Fareed had had contact with. I scrubbed furiously when all those moments and my past flashed by in my mind. But I didn't cry. As much as the incident scarred me as a girl, I was still strong. I didn't cry for pathetic psychopaths. I cry for Allah.

After drying off with the help of the towel, I stepped out with my wet hair spilling out, towel around my neck and hoodie hanging till my knee above the jeans.

When Zubair saw me step out of the washroom, he stopped what he was doing. He looked me from up to down, as if to make sure I was in one piece. Then he pursed his lips together.

He took his clothes and made it inside the washroom, but he didn't meet my eye, and his eyes still had that dark look.

***

Now we were currently at the stadium, after the rain had ceased. The food were still left over carefully preserved under the over roof of the stadium. I went for a hot tea, while Zubair went for coffee. Zubair hadn't said a word after we left the infirmary. I couldn't help but wonder if he was either angry or guilty. He was hovering over me like a bodyguard. We both hadn't met our friends, since our last encounter. We were engulfed in the sea of students. Some of them still were giving us strange looks. I was starting to get annoyed with his behavior of staying right beside me.

"You're aren't a stalker right? Quit acting like a bodyguard." I said frustrated. He didn't tell anything, instead, he continued to drink his tea. And I dropped the topic, knowing that I won't be getting any word out of him.

We were still sipping onto our beverages when I saw my friends. I waved them over. They walked towards me in hurried steps.

"Zaira! Are you alright? What happened? Where did you disappear to?" Asked Farha who was the first to reach me, worriedly.

"Girl! What happened? Are you okay! Why were you-no that Zubair was hugging you?" Demanded Naila who reached me a second later.

I turned to look at him beside me. He was looking down.

"Naila!" Shahla and Zahra whispered to her quietly at the same time.

"What!" She hissed.

"Well, the one you're talking about is right beside the one you're taking to. And your friends here are much smarter than you and realized that simple fact." I turned to see Shahid, Raiz and other guys moving towards us.

Naila just glared at Shahid. "I didn't ask you, Shahid Wadi."

"Assalamu alaikum to you too, Naila Alam. Long time no see, eh? Well, you're still the same aren't you? And you must still not know that these two are married and that's why they are perfectly allowed hug each other."

I felt a little uncomfortable, and felt my face getting hot, when all of them looked at both me and Zubair. I just looked around to ward off the awkward situation.

"Wa alaikum salaam, Wadi. I know about these two, For your damn information. Get off your high horse. It's high time. Besides I feel sad for your horse, it's aging." She said smiling at him sarcastically.

"Sure sure. At least my horse isn't dead." He said enjoying the situation.

Naila scowled and took a step forward, when Zahra and Shahla held her back quickly.

"Shahid." Zubair warned.

Shahid just rolled his eyes at him. I had a hard time, hiding my smile at these two's behavior. Well, Naila couldn't bear his existence and Shahid was enjoying her attitude.

"You fine?" Farha asked again, taking all of us back to the topic.

"Yeah. Nothing big." I gave a quick glance to Zubair. He was staring at Shahid.

"Shahid, I need to talk to you." He said.

"Sure, come on." He said walking to a less crowded side. Raiz and the others followed him. Zubair gave me a warning look. The first time looking at me right in the eye directly, after we both had left the infirmary. I felt butterflies in my stomach.

He took a step forward and in a subtle movement bent his head forward, near my ear.
"Dare try to disappear again."
He said under his breath in a low voice quietly so only I could here him.

I felt goosebumps in my flesh. I pursed my lips in response to his cold look.

Then he left.

"Zai! What did that cow- Zubair, say to you? Is he controlling you? Why did he hug you? Where did he drag you off to? What happened? And why is that idiot here?" Nails bombarded me with questions.

"Nails, everything is fine. I-I was a little not okay that time. He-he was just-just, you know........He took me to the infirmary because I was a bit shaken. Well, about Shahid, he was always around Zubair. That's normal." I said stammering a little at first when I talked about Zubair.

Everyone except Naila was smiling knowingly at me, as if they were sharing a hidden joke. Maybe because I never acted like this before. I never stuttered. I never got nervous. I was always oozing with confidence. Zubair always managed to bring out the worst from me.

But Naila was glaring daggers at me as if i had betrayed her.

"Why were you shaken?" She asked.

"About that......." I really didn't want them to know. I didn't want them to worry. But I knew they would feel hurt if I didn't share this with them. As much as it caused me pain to relive my past and my traumatizing memories, I elaborated quickly, about what had happened years ago and what had happened just a while ago.

After I had finished, Zahra and Shahla were quite angry with me a little for not telling about Zubair all those years ago, but they made up with me. Farha told me that she always was doubtful about Zubair doing that. Nails came into terms with the reality after much persuasion. But they all seemed shocked with Fareed's revelation. Naila was ready to kill him. They all were pretty furious at Fareed and were worried if he had done something to me. But I assured them that Zubair had come before he could do anything. And I had a hard time reassuring Nails that Zubair and the guys took care of Fareed.

"Okay.........maybe that guy might be suitable for you. Just little bit, okay? He has my permission." Nails said after thinking.

We all burst into laughter at her words. She was always the overprotective one among us. Acting like our elder brother.

When I heard a sigh, I turned around to find Zubair standing beside me and Shahid and the guys behind him.

"Phew. I am glad." He said quietly.

"Well, don't think you're off the hook. You better treat her properly. Else I will personally come and see to it." She said solemnly, hearing him, though he had said it under his breath.

Just then we were addressed and the session continued for an hour longer. We all got our certifications and documents at the end. Then we bid our goodbyes, shared our contacts, hugged each other and left. All the while Zubair stood by me like a shadow.

When Zubair was reversing the car out of the parking lot, I broke the silence and talked.

"What-what happened to Fareed?" I asked carefully.

"You don't need to know."he said firmly.

I sighed frustrated with his answer. "Please. If anything, I have to know! Tell me."

He mantained silence, as if I hadn't talked. I sighed again clearly annoyed with his demeanor.

"We handed him to the professor." He said after a while.

"Professor? Which professor? why?" I asked confused at his reply.

He sighed looking out of the window. "It's a long story."

"I have time." I said firmly, not letting him to stray away from the conversation.

He sighed a defeated sigh and i inwardly smiled at my success.

After 20 minutes I still sat on the seat of the range rovers, trying to fit every piece of information in my brain. So, after it was proved that Fareed was guilty, he was expelled without being given the certifications. But with Zubair's consent he was allowed to continue his education, under the conditions that he'd have to repeat two years again in the uni, and he'd have to do social work for the two years. That was his punishment. Ibrahim and Irfan were given one year repeating and social work. And technically, all of them were still students at the University.

But, as Zubair said, with the recent incidents, Fareed's fate was unknown. And we'd decided to keep it like that. We didn't want to be involved in any way.

I was thinking of my life. How it had changed for the worst one moment and how it had changed for the good another moment. How people I had trusted betrayed me while people I had despised turned to be good people. This is life. Allah does everything for a reason and who am I to question Him?

The red light of the traffic lights blared in its circular void.

"What're you thinking?" He asked breaking my thoughts.

"Nothing important." I said careful to hide my thoughts away from him.

Zubair is impossible. I can't seem to figure what he's thinking. He hates me. I know it for sure. It's pure animosity dripping down from the sky to the depth of the sea. I don't exactly know why, maybe my personality or my qualities or my attitudes. Then why did he help me? He kept all of this to himself when he could've easily revealed everything. But he didn't because he claimed it was his punishment. He repented for his mistake. Well, actually like Fareed had said, it wasn't exactly his fault but still he did accept it. I'd never admit it to his face but, my respect for him increased each minute. Though he must hate me more than I do him, he never actually made it come between us. I was his responsibility after the nikkah, and he stayed true to his words. Like today. Then what was his deal? Why was he helping me if he hates me? This is getting me nowhere.

I suddenly looked at him sideways frustration oozing out of me. He was holding the wheel and was concentrated on the road. he turned to look at me briefly before focusing on the road when he noticed me looking at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked curiously.

"What do you mean?" I asked turning towards the road and pursing my lips, trying to solve my problems.

"Well, you were frowning and looking at me a second ago and now you are scowling at the road. What could possibly be wrong, right?" He asked sarcastically.

You. You are wrong. It's all you. Why did you help me? Why did you repent? Why did Jen forgive you? If she did, it's useless or me to not to. And if I do, there will be no point in hating you anymore. Well........actually, do I hate you? Oh Allah. What's wrong with me. It's all your fault, Zubair.

My mind suddenly flashed to the time in Czech Republic. When he held me for the photo. When he fought with those drunkards. When he got hurt. When he defended me from Shaima aunty. When he held my hands that night. When he hugged me tight during his panic attack. When I helped him to change because of his hand cast. When he held me close in the elevator from being touched by other people. When he hugged me while I cried because of the sudden revelation and when he punched Fareed for hurting me. How he hugged me and calmed me down. How he stayed with me through the day. And how my heart failed me all those times, running in a pace which wasn't possible. How my face burned with heat. How a garden full of butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

Suddenly, I felt those again. And a new thought filled my brain. Slowly, it went towards my heart. But my heart didn't allow it to. It refused the thought not permitting it to enter and cause a chaos. But my heart failed miserably and it entered my weak heart and made itself comfortable. It was no longer a thought. It became a fact. And I knew I wouldn't be able to fight it anymore, because both my brain and heart had agreed on it.

I love him. I love Zubair Khan. The insufferable idiot.

That's why my heart beat wildly. The butterflies in my stomach acted up. My face had heated. All those, because I liked him. The respect I had for him, had gradually grown and developed. But I had mistaken it for utmost respect. When it was blossoming love.

I gasped with the revelation. Horror filled my face. What have I gotten myself into? Why do I like him? I mean, what could I possibly see in him?

"What? Is everything alright? Why do you look like that?" Zubair asked nervously.

"Everything's wrong. Everything."

***

We returned back home. Well, to say the least, Things had changed between us. We were no longer the same. And the people surrounding us felt it. They questioned us multiple times on it. But we never answered them.
We had decided to keep the whole thing a secret. We didn't want them worried.
After finishing dinner, we both went to bed, claiming we were tired. They left us alone to our room. We were too tired to talk, so we prayed, and went to bed.

I was still trying to figure why ever I would like him. Why the hell I would be in love with him. My life was a mess. Did he feel the same? No. Obviously not. The sun would rise on the west of he did. This is impossible and horrible. Why did my thoughts always revolve around him now? I was seeing him in a new light. What in the jahanam was wrong with me?

"Zaira? Are you asleep? Zaira?" Zubair suddenly asked.

As usual they both were sleeping in the far corners turning away from each other, leaving a large gap in between.

I was still full awake, but I didn't want to talk to him right now. So I decided to pretend to sleep. I reduced my breaths to slow, relaxed and peaceful breaths. I relaxed my sleeping stance. And I closed my eyes shut.

He scooted closer reducing the gap between us. The mattress near me dipped with his weight. The action made my heart accelerate. He then placed a hand on my shoulder and slightly turned me. I felt my heart beat wildly against my ribcage even more faster than earlier at his abrupt contact. He shook a hand mid air checking if I was asleep. And I had fooled him. Confirming that I was asleep he leaned back taking his hand off my shoulder.

I was thinking of what he was gonna do, when suddenly a hand snaked around my waist. A shiver ran down me and I felt goosebumps all over my body. My lips quivered with nervousness.

Never in my life had I been this close in proximity to another male. Not even my brother or my father. Neither did I ever imagine myself to. Certainly not Zubair. Possibly, in what world would I imagine to be like this with Zubair?

But now I was.

I didn't have any words to describe my inner feelings. Only Allah knew. I wasn't angry at him for touching me. No. I was nervous.

"I am sorry Zaira. It's my fault. I should have told you. What happened was my fault. I am sorry." He suddenly spoke up in the deadly silence that had engulfed the room. His voice held such guilt, sadness and hurt that it hurt my heart.

Yes. I hated him. But now I didn't. I loved him right now. Saying it out seemed hypocritical, but it was the truth. And it hurt me and made me sad seeing him blaming himself.

I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell that it wasn't his fault. That he did all he could, to help me. And he really did. He had calmed me down and had hugged me warmly.

But I couldn't. Because then he'd know that I wasn't asleep. Then he'd be in an awkward situation,m. I probably couldn't confront him on my feelings, because I would end up being the idiot and the broken one . He didn't obviously like me, so I would end up being embarrassed. I didn't want him to know that he affected me. I didn't want to be embarrassed by him. And most importantly, it would end our current situation where we rarely had arguments and almost had been civil. It had been a satisfying situation where we learned to live together, in the past weeks. And if I confessed, it would change everything . He would change. Because he never felt anything for me.

A sudden pull jerked me out of my thoughts. He pulled me closer to him and laid his head beside mine.

What was he doing? Does this idiot want to kill me by giving a heart attack?

I was deep in thinking and failed to notice that he had fallen asleep. His soft snores then traveled to my ears. I focused on that sound, away from my tangled thoughts and frantic heart. His soft snores came slow, and they calmed my erratic heart down. And slowly I was lulled into a peaceful sleep.

But before I fell into the hands of slumber, I lifted my hand and placed it over his firm hand which wounded across my waist.

***