It began with sunlight

A light that shined through the blinds.

It was meant to be a happy day

Yet I felt a lump in my throat.

Not for myself.

For Braden who was without a father.

For his grandfather who was without a son.

Finally, for James himself.

To lighten the mood, we went out.

We came back with balloons in all shades of blue

Clasped in our fingers.

Messages on each one.

A message from my brother

Another from my father.

A greeting from my sister.

A declaration of love from my nephew.

Then there was myself.

"We hope you found peace. We miss you so much and think about you every day,"

Mine said.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

I promised myself I'd be strong for Braden.

Though within minutes of letting them go...

My glasses were off.

My eyes were wet.

The bittersweet music echoed in my ears.

My father gave me the embrace I didn't want.

Yet it was also the embrace I needed.

Despite the sadness

This was a beautiful day.

The sun was shining.

The weather was warm.

We were together...

Remembering him.

It was that reality

I couldn't quite fathom.

Four months had passed

I was still hurting inside.

He was gone.

He was really gone.

Though everything was okay.

He would've proud.

James would've been proud.

We love you, James.

May you never be forgotten.

May you have a Happy Father's Day

Smiling above the skies