I rested my head on the headboard which was cold steel. My head was still bouncing a little from inside. Apart from that, I couldn't feel any pain, not even my usual back ache or swollen feet. I put a hand on my baby and my eyes filled with salty water just with the fact that I actually killed it.
"I'm....I'm sorry baby...mama is so...so sorry....don't hate mama ohkay...mama loves you" I couldn't stop but pour out my apologies to it. Angela was right, I was stupidest person in the world for taking that cruel step. I closed my eyes with anticipation the moment I felt some movements inside my bump. Although she said it was alive, I still couldn't believe her until I felt it myself.

Darkness and negetivity overpowers you this way that you don't think rationally. It makes you selfish in a so wrong way that you, instead of loving yourself and your circumstances, start fighting everything around you. And LIFE becomes one of your enemy. I wiped my tears off and slipped down by now resting my head on the soft white pillow, without leaving my hand from my baby, in search of little peace of mind.

But it was futile to search for peace when the facts, that you are a ghost and that two god workers are searching for solutions to send you back on Earth, won't let your mind stop from thinking all these over and over again and raise various different questions. I started questioning my mental health as well, as Angela said I was depressed already and pregnancy mood swings added cherry to the cake. I started feeling like I got personality disorder or some neurotic delusional disease which is making me imagine all these stuffs and characters. I was going crazy with what's real and what's fantasy. I needed  a strong and instant check, like...like if I close my eyes and then when I'll open it, whatever will be in front of me will be REALITY.

I did. I closed my eyes shut tightly, held the baby, asked it not to panic, and opened it slowly...like peeking stealthily and all I could find was yet again...same things. Same white dull room with no furniture except this one bed I was laid upon. I snorted in grieve as nothing was solving out. I started thinking other plans to assure myself about what's happening.

"We told you it's not your imagination. It's real..." Oh..he is back again reading my mind.

" Don't read my mind all the time...please.." I yelled finally and to my surprise, he started laughing in response. The He-Christ is totally insane.

"You poor little humans..." Laughed again. I closed my eyes and made a tight fist to ignore my anger. Baby has heightened my emotions.

"Leave the girl alone..." Angela said entering the room. Reminded me of Dashing Woods. Forget him, forget him, he won't be even caring about my death or whatever thing.

"Umm....dashing woods huh...who is he..father of your baby?"
I need to file a lawsuit against this man. Invading my privacy all the time.
He kept nodding his head and laughing all this time. I'm dead meat, telling you.

"Iris...focus here now"  she snapped in front of my face and pointed at her, while joining me on the bed. This time, Cruel He-Christ put his chair a little closer to the bed, still a feet or two afar, and sat on it with his legs crossed. His focus was on me. Scary!

"So....so you guys....came up with idea? Or something?" I asked what I zoomed out of their faces as they both were looking weirdly at me. Angela seemed bit scared and tensed while Lucifer was in his calmed-cold state.

"Yeah actually, it's Lucifer's department so I don't get a say in this but he did come up with the solution" she said looking at him and then back at me. She was scaring me now, to be honest.

"Which is....?" I asked insisting on them to end the suspense now.

"a morte in vitam" he said while putting his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on his palms, focusing on me with his little sharp eyes straightway now.

"I....I don't get it...(chuckled nervously) in Engli...." He cut me through by saying

"A death for a life, a morte in vitam, is Latin, in English it means A death for a life" my eyes forgot to blink, my mouth forgot to produce saliva. It dried immedietly, racing my heartbeats a little. I gasped and started breathing but more rapidly than normal and immediately clutched my bump. Does he mean I have to die to save the baby? Or baby have to...? I don't...I didn't....

"Listen stop talking to yourself so much and ask here..." He snapped at me in his barbaric tone making me aware of both of them.

"Iris....relax...it's a rule...we can't change it...or bend it anymore...but relax ohkay..." Angela said to me but at the moment, I forgot how to reply to people. I was so shunned listening to what he said and this horror suddenly made me also realize that whatever dilemma I was having about if it's reality or just my imagination, it all cleared up. Something inside me suddenly ran through making me aware of how much big trouble I caused to myself and my baby and now this all, this all was the price if I wanted to undo what I did.

"Girl....here..." I saw him standing up and reaching me on bed, while Angela immediately got down from the bed and stood in a corner. He came in front of me and pulled his hands out of his pocket. They were covered in gloves.
He touched my hands, I felt like someone put a whole bucket or ice on me. They were so cold and rough like stainless steel. I looked up at him, he bore his eyes on mine. I was scared to death but then again...I'm already dead.

"Stop thinking of all these....and listen to me carefully ohkay. My wife here, she wants you and your baby to be saved. We are bending the God's rule, the nature's rule in order to save you but everything comes with a price right. You know that. So you have to submit a death in order to take a life. Do you understand? (I nodded in a no)ah woman.......(he exhaled sharply) ohkay so...someone, except you, will have to sacrifice his/her life and die, then only I'll be able to save you, in technical terms, will replace your life with his/her's because, the nature keeps a record whenever someone dies, they did when you died, your baby doesn't count, now I'll give you an ultimatum and you will have to submit me a death that day....so that I could do a little swapping and play foul game to save you.
Got it now?"

I nodded but my mind had stopped working, honestly. What was going on..? Submit death...sacrifice life...save myself... nature's record...baby doesn't count...too much information in last thirty seconds.

"She doesn't know everything...she needs to take it from the ground Lucifer.." she said looking at me. I looked at her with my baffled face and she seemed like the beam of light in my underground cellar mind.

"Argh...this was me nicest
Now you deal with your little victim" he said leaving my hand and getting up from the bed. I felt so embarrassed that moment, I can't define in words. He was actually being nice but it was all too much bizarre for me to take at once. He rose from the bed and left the room apparently, I looked at his retreating figure and tears came out of my eyes again. I felt like a super dumb kid, teachers trying to teach.

Angela put a hand on my shoulder in order to stop me from abusing myself anymore.

"Look I understand this is all so unbelievably impossible for you to even know, let alone accept and perform accordingly. But Iris, honey...we have to do this, you....have to do this...otherwise, it will all fall in vain. In death."

"I...I... understand...it's just...I don't know....I don't know what to do and...now he said someone has to die...for me....that is...I mean why...why will someone do that....and....I just....don't know dammit"

"See I know all this. But you have to listen because I'm gonna tell you this whole thing. So what you have to do see/convince/ conspire to kill someone on your ultimatum day. Lucifer is gonna check records and see the ultimatum day according to various other things. Anyways, so once you submit someone's life to Lucifer on that day, you will be gifted with yours and your baby's. Now Iris, I know how cruelly pathetic and selfish that sounds that you will have to practically look for someone's death on the same day...but you have to do this, if you want second chance, and I dearly want you to want that."

That made sense almost, still alot of questions were roaming in my head.

"Um.. Angela you said...you said you are angel of life...why can't you just give me life..?" I asked hoping maybe they have ignored this possibility. Angela smiled at me painfully though.

"I'm indeed Angel of Life but, nature has fixed a rule, life and death both are made for the perfect balance. If I were to give life just like that...the balance will falter and nature will be disturbed, and so will the god. You know, I'm more like a flower. I mean my anatomy, it's more like a flower. I bloom when someone borns, like I'll when you will give birth to your baby, but I dry up when someone dies. It's like a part of me gets chipped away. Now when you killed yourself, I saved you and that part from me to be chipped away, so I can't just give you life because as Lucifer also said, Nature keeps the record. He wants a life as a sacrifice from you because he will swap it with yours and submit to the god, then once my part will be chipped away and once the nature's record will be maintained, I'll use my power and give you life. Balanced! You see..."

Now I understood the whole procedure of life and death. It was more like a factory going on in here, up above the world, God indeed has immense amount of brain.

"So...so till the time....I mean Ultimatum day...I'll be living here..?"

"Oh come on...use your brain Stevens..." Yeah! Who else than the very smart brain-reader. Angela looked at him with confused face.

"Come on you know I was outside...seeing after how much efforts will she understand" he said in his defense. I need this brain reading power.

"It's given to some very intellectual people...not fools like you" he mocked me...again.

"Whatever..." I said with all the hatred I had for him. He rolled his eyes.

"You will be send to the earth but as a ghost only..." He said after a minute.

"Excuse me..?" I was shocked again.

"Yes,.you heard me. What are we fighting for..? Your life, and what we don't have until we win...that's right...your life. So till then you are a ghost dumbass. You will be send down as ghost but whoever will be thinking of you, or praying for your good, will be able to see you"

I gulped. I'm a loner remember. A dead meat loner.

"And....." He said emphasising for another twist...oh god..I mean, no
..no...god don't pay attention to me for some days. This is all hidden task.

"And?" I asked looking at him to reveal whatever he was holding.

"And you have five weeks to do that"

"Fi... five only...?" Shit scared was I.

"Lucifer, how can she do it in five weeks?" Angela asked.

"I can't help it, she is already 29 weeks due and I saw the files, the recorder( keeper of nature's record) will be taking a leave after five weeks, so I can swap the deaths then only, moreover I saw her delivery also, of course before suicide, which was planned on her 34th week because of her not taking enough food than required. So all in all, I made it to 33rd week, the baby will be fine, you know how much science has grown. And I'll immediately swap the record and you will be able to give them life." He explained everything of which I understood the minimum part that anyhow I'll have to find my pig for slaughter in five weeks only, that too being a pregnant ghost searching for people bothered by my absence.

"Alright...that makes sense...thanx Lucifer...thank you Soo...." Angela squealed and jumped a little while smiling her fullest. She was so beautiful and even beautiful was her smiling face, it could end all your pain and eradicate all your worries just like that. She excitingly forwarded her foot towards Lucifer but then withdrew it back immediately. She saw me watching her so she just ignored me and my eyes. Lucifer kept staring at her and I saw, the pain in his face was not because of his job.....but something else.

"Ready to hit the earth Stevens?" He asked me immediately catching me off guard from staring at them and thinking about them. No more thinking about them.

"I guess so." I said while inhaling a deep long breathe and adjoining my hands tighter.

*****************************

The journey begins now.
Are you ready for it? Yeah, so am I..

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Take care and spread love.
Signing off
Shruti!