Before I could wait and see about the man laid injured right in front of me, I felt my water broke under my pants. Now was so not the good time for me to give birth and forget everything, I was going to die as per the deal I had with Lucifer and Angela.
I started panicking so much. Derek and Hike were outside helping with the man and I couldn't even call them out for help because obviously the man out there needed more attention than me.
Just when I was hoping to see somebody, I got the right people beside me.

"Angela.. my water......my water broke just now"  I said with panting voice as tears already took their place and anxiety was on it's way. Once again I was gonna loose my life and my child's. There was no way of looking it in a good way, I was just blaming myself for indulging in all other things than planning a dead man for this time, the thing I was out on earth for.

"No, you weren't put on earth to kill another man. What you did Ire....in all these weeks.....were most heroic and most selfless things you have ever done, or anyone has ever done so don't ever repent on them, it's all going to come back to you in some good way or the other." Lucifer said holding my face in between his cold palms and making me look in his eyes straightway. They soothed me this time rather scaring me like always. He was surpassing me strength and positivity which I admit I needed but what I needed the most that time....I had no idea how to get that.

"Call Derek.....before it's too late" Angela said with weird eyes and I knew what she meant. She was hinting me to say goodbye to him before it was too late. Derek was still outside calling his people and a taxi to get that man to the hospital.
I looked at her with my glassy eyes and she looked downwards. I can't even explain how butchered I felt at that moment, that was the exact moment when I was so scared of dieing. So scared about it that I was slapping myself inside for putting both of us in a DO OR DIE situation, where also the time period for doing was over now....now I was left with DIE only.

I somehow put my head out of the car window and gulping the continuous lump in my throat, I called for Derek.
He turned around at me with his quizzically disturbed countenance.

"I.... I'm.....I'm having it now Derek.....my....my water broke.....I'm sorry.. " and I clasped my mouth shut as the definite pain of knowing that you are going to die....was immaculate and overruling everything coming in the way to cope it up. I couldn't be just normal witty self and control it. It was being too much.

Suddenly I felt my minora labia expanding or what, the pain was immense for few seconds. I held my bump tightly and laid my back on the headboard spreading my legs a little. It was for a few seconds only but very painful thing. No wonder giving birth is the hardest most thing one have to do on earth, and they consider us women weak. Noobs!

Derek came running to me.
"Are you okay? Hike will take the man in the taxi, sit here I'm taking you to the hospital okay....just breathe.. " he said and I just nodded to him as I was still recovering from the contraction pain.

He went back to hike and then I saw a taxi stopping by and Alex coming out of it. They then took the injured man and put him inside the taxi. Derek came running to us and taking the driver's seat, he ignited the car as fast as he could while I laid there silently looking at him. I didn't even notice when Angela and Lucifer left us already.

All weird kind of thoughts were rushing in my brain. I hadn't even talked to my mother in all these months and now I was going to die, I  wanted to talk to her as I knew a mother would wanna know when her child will be in grave dangers like this. My child was in danger too, my child was about to die too and all because of me. There was no way in hell I was ever going to forgive myself for it. No amount of work or chances could ever undone that...what I did with us.
People scarcely get chances to understand their heinous life changing drastic mistakes and understand the consequences, I somehow did but I should have known it was all for nothing. I couldn't fix it. It wasn't my job anyway to kill someone for myself.

Just thinking all this stuffs passed the road and I was surprised that Derek drove so fast. Our car stopped with a loud creech sound and Derek stepped out to take me. I raised from the seat but before I could move out, I got my another contraction attack. I sat back immediately and my mouth slipped a suppressed groan which probably came out of my pressed throat.
Derek held my hand tightly as I groaned and let out sharp breathes. My body had started sweating already. He took out his handkerchief and dabbed on my forehead to dry it out a little. Some of my hair strands were already stuck on my side face with the sweat. It was then when I realised I was sweating so much, also that, handling that pain was very much of a hardwork itself.

"A gurney here please" Derek shouted towards the entrance gate. I somehow tried to come out when I saw a taxi stopping too and Alex coming out of it. He called for a gurney too and they reached them first. Moments later a man came running to us with another gurney and they both helped me lie at it.
Derek didn't leave my hand even for a second.

"Derek.....this......this isn't how......I......I planned..." I tried to say few things before I would run out of time.

He kept his pace high along with the gurney as we were entering the hospital now.
"I know....I know Ire. We didn't even shop, we don't have our bag ready. But don't you worry, I will call mom and Naomi, they will come up with everything you and the baby will need. Don't worry about anything at all. I'm here".

Tear trickled down my eyes more fastly now.  He had no idea what was going to happen. He was going to suffer from a pain like this again, loosing his family. I knew I was his family and I hid all sorts of truth from him. I didn't deserve to be his family or even be a part of his life for what it's worth. He was so blindly trusting me.

"Where's the patient?" I heard suddenly a doctor saying looking at me and everybody stopped suddenly like they have frozen or what. I couldn't move anything but my head. I turned on my left and saw three interns, I have seen already, around another gurney. They were also frozen at their places. I wasn't able to understand what was happening. I was just looking here and there when suddenly hard light hit my eyes and I squeezed them shut.
Next thing I know when I open my eyes, everybody were around me hurrying but not panicking and taking me somewhere. I looked straight and saw Angela standing there smiling a little and mouthing RELAX to me.

I had no idea what was happening, how they all were now seeing me suddenly and working accordingly. But yes, what I can tell you all right now is, I was definitely feeling differently full...like I was injected with life or something...but it could be my mere expectation and wishes that I wanted to be injected with life once again and so I was feeling like that.
I was somehow feeling differently humane but there was no sign or indication that I was human again, it was probably just my mind which was making all these sensations for me as I dearly wanted to be human.
Do you understand? I don't think you do.

Anyways, I was now getting constant contraction attacks. Again and again, my groin was aching so much that I just wanted it all to stop as fast as it can. I was already feeling so drained painfully that I had no idea how women do the hard part as well which comes next, pushing the baby out of them. It was such a dreading moment. I was feeling like piece by piece...life was slipping out of me. The pain was increasing every now and then and the way to the room was seemingly never ending.
Suddenly, to my relief, two gates opened and they stopped Derek from there. They took the gurney inside as fast as they could and closed the door shut behind me. I was still groaning and moaning in my pain writhing on that gurney.

"Calm down and take a long breathe....we will shift you on this bed now" a doctor said to me. I nodded and tried to calm myself down. I closed my eyes and in order to calm myself down I had to think of good things, but, the moment I closed my eyes...the scene of my suicide came in front of it. I opened them immediately.
Two doctors or whosoever they were, took ahold of me each side and lifted me up and on the count of three, put me down to another bed.

I was still horrified with what I saw just now. I closed my eyes again and I saw myself lieing there on the road injured brutally looking at the car. I could feel my head pain with exact amount so I opened my eyes again but closing them again, I saw.....well technically felt myself fainting looking at the dented car and its red stained windshield where I had landed just minutes ago, my stomach aching more than explainable and I felt like my head will explode out of pain. I opened my eyes back again and saw the doctors working their stuffs through. Two nurses were already changing my clothes but I couldn't feel a thing, all my mind was clogged with that accident and feeling of all the pain. I could feel all that pain in my mind and my body as well.
My hands automatically went to my bump where it was aching too and although there was nothing down there, I kept looking and touching myself for I felt like bleeding and miscarriag-ing.

That was the moment when I realised I was dieing. I was dieing like I did in that moment of my accident, although my condition and situation is different here but I could feel and sense all that trauma and pain once again and that was obvious now. I could not complete what deal was offered to me and somehow I was not regretful about it. I didn't kill anyone, I was proud on myself for that.

I closed my eyes again and I saw myself bruised and dead on a table in the hospital. I could feel my throat and mouth going all dry. I felt my veins going dry inside gradually. Tears were trickling down constantly for I was witnessing every moment of my death.
Suddenly my mind travelled to Derek and I screamed his name for I had to say things to him. He needed to know all this stuff as now that I was dieing anyway.

"What happened?" The doctor, who was now checking my vagina and it's contraction, asked looking upwards from my hospital gown.

"I....I need to talk to him...... please.....send him in....." I said with my panting voice as by every passing second I was feeling like dieing, be it mentally or physically.
The doctor turned to one of her nurse and eyed her to call him in.
She opened the doors and didn't even say anything, just eyed, I presume and Derek came rushing inside.

I raised from my seat a little as he came to me and held my hands immediately. He was tensed himself.

"We just need three centimetres more contraction and then we can start your delievery" the doctor said finally putting my gown back to its normal place and standing.

"I.....I need some alone time with him....please... " I said to her.

"But Ire.. " Derek protested as I knew he was tensed for me, but I held his hand and nodded my head to assure him that I was fine. I was not.
The doctor and nurses exchanged their looks and nodding in disapproval, they left the room.
Derek sat beside me as I made space for him to sit.

"I....need you.....to sleep beside me while I put my.......my head on your chest.....and tell you......stuffs" I said trying very hard to gulp down my lump. Even the lump was painful. Everything about this moment was so painful I can't even write.

He looked at me with his questioning eyes and then laid in his half side turned towards me. He put his one hand on my bump while I put my head on his other one which looped around my nape and came back to my other shoulder. I snuggled in him and held the hem of his collar in my fist.

"Are you scared baby? Because you don't have to, I'm always, always here. Okay?" He whispered in my hair and I put my head more down to his neck and shoulders.

"Derek......what I'm going to tell you, will never make sense and you don't have to use your head for it. Just believe my every word, will you?" I said silently and there was a pause between us for few seconds. He must be wondering what on this polluted earth I was about to talk.

"Okay. But........okay. Okay I'll believe you " he said nervously, as I knew he had no idea what he was promising for and he was totally sceptical about it but he did it just for my sake.

"Okay Derek. I'm dead. I'm long dead. Six weeks ago I tried to kill myself and......and unfortunately....I succeeded in it. I'm dead since then ba...."

"Iris you are just disturbed....with all this pain....honey....."

"DEREKK.....you need to hear me out completely. I told you it's not gonna make sense but please......hear me out. I'm running out of time"

And there was another pause, for me to get another indication from him to proceed and pause for him to probably adjust his mental state and convince himself that I was still disturbed and not gone mad completely.

"Derek?" When he didn't say anything I had to ask.

"Hm? Yeah I'm listening please go on" he said haphazardly as I disturbed him in his thoughts.

"Listen carefully okay. So when I killed myself, I was saved by workers of god. They saved me but as I had already committed this sin, they offered me another chance to live. Now it's all very long and complicated but in a nutshell, I was asked to replace myself from another dead person to gain life back on this very moment. I had to make a sacrifice of another person in return of my life....but....I can't do that. Obviously! I can't kill someone else or ask someone else to die for me and my baby so....Derek....this is the last time we are talking." I completed with a sigh and looked up at him.

He was expression-less. He didn't even look down at me while I knew he knew I was staring at him for a reply or a reaction or something. He kept staring the machine behind me.

"Derek..  say something...." I jolted him a little because although I knew he wasn't even listening to my stupid story let alone believeing it, but I wanted some kind of reaction or a reply from him because believe it or not....I was dieing.

"You....you are not dieing Ire, it's just a baby delievery.  You will get through this. Don't think too much" he said finally and kissed my head.

I was crashed inside that he wasn't believing me and thinking that I was insane for reckoning all these stupid stuff. Little did he know how real it all was. I had no other option anyways. I parted away from him thinking that once I'll die, he will definitely think at least once about it and then maybe he will believe me. I did my job anyway, which was to tell him the truth as he deserved it. I knew his life was about to shatter and he was going to break apart once again but I had no other option left. I could just hope that perhaps somehow the truth might lessen his pain and sufferings.

Another contraction happened and it shook my entire body with another level of pain. I shrieked loudly and Derek immediately stepped down my bed and called for the doctors.
The doctor and nurses came rushing to me and my vagina.
I held the railing of the bed tightly to control myself while my other hand was held by Derek firmly.

"Alright it's time....to push the baby out" the doctor said beaming-ly looking at me upwards from the gap between my legs.
This time the pain wasn't going away and now I had to push as well. I was feeling so low of energy and motivation that I had no power to push. Everyone in the room kept telling things to encourage me to push but I was loosing it every second.
I tried to push but it was all going in vain.
"Derek......I.....I love.....I love you. I love you Derek....don't.......don't loose your hope....hope in love.....and......and life....I love......I love you so much....Derek..... and you.....you deserve...much much better....don't.....don't loose it.. "
Gradually, the voices around me started to fade and so did the vision of everyone. I could see Derek standing in my right almost hovering over my head yelling things but like I was loosing and loosing it...he faded away and it all blackened for once and forever.

*****************************

Is Iris dead? What do yout think?

Don't forget to vote and comment people. The book has come to its end.

Sending lots of hope to you guys.
Signing off
Shruti!