It's been more than a month since Jaden happened to me. I have vowed for celibacy since then. No one likes to be called a slut after all, especially when you are willing to give the boy a chance. Disaster!

Oh and forgot to tell y'all, have found a new crush, in office. Typical arrogant, hot, systemized super rich boss of mine...well not actually boss but kinda supervisor. He joined last week only, and I'm already drooling on him but so are other girls.  He likes to be alone so that attracts me the most, and not to forget, his sexy little piercing eyes too.
Derek woods. I never got a proper chance to talk to him so this whole crush is nothing but infatuation I know. Anyways...I'm celibate! No more sex! Not until a month at least.

Besides, I have been feeling a little dizzy and more pukey these days. Guess this celibacy thing is not good for my body. I need boo..............

"Christ Stevens, you move to trashcan when you feel like puking.." yelled Cristina, my desk neighbour, when I puked on the floor suddenly. I don't know it just came at lightening speed and before I could move, I was already putting gross things out of my mouth.
And you know what's worse ...Mr.Drooly Woods was coming with a file in my direction only and stopped ten steps away, when I poured my dirty stomach out. Never gonna get him now.....am I?

"I'm so sorry....(burp) I..I'm kinda feeling  under the weather  today...so sorry Mr.Woods" I said while trying to cover up my mouth to pretend the dirty odor reach others and they fire me for lack of hygiene.

"I....I think...you should just go...wash yourself..." He said. He spoke to me.....did he...he really....spoke to me....!

"Miss.stevens...?" He asked again and I came out of my trance and ran towards the washroom.

In the restroom, I puked a bit more and my head started spinning like a disco ball. I couldn't walk back to my desk. I stayed inside, holding the walls and my head and sat on the corner for a while...celibacy totally sucks!

A moment later Cristina came in and helped me stand up. I was feeling like teenage girl who got drunk for the first time and drank whole bottle at once. Totally gone case. She helped me out and with help of Mike, the typist who seems to have a crush on me, walked me through the local clinic right outside the office.

"I'm...I'm fine... really...it's just I'm...I vowed celibacy and been sober from...from everywhere so...it's kinda hitting me" I told the doctor who kept pushing a syringe in me to drain my blood. Bloody blood-drainers.

"Yeah I'm sure you have gone to medical school Miss.Stevens, unlike me....but unfortunately, I got the power...so now if you please.." she said. Who does she think she is...blood drainer bitch.

"Yeah whatever...take all my blood for all I care....I'm fine and I know it.." I said virtually flaunting my hair back for self-confidence to which she rolled her eyes on me.

After what felt like twenty minutes or something I kept waiting, Cristina and Mike left right after my blood was syringed as they had to resume their work. I kept chewing my nail for whole twenty something minutes, boredom strikes like that. My eyes lit up when the doctor came back with my reports in her hand.

"I told you...I'm fine...you drained my blood for nothing.." I said cheerfully and she smirked...evil!

"Wellllll....Miss.Stevens I'm sure you are fine...except that you are five weeks pregnant"

"Brffff what..." Is she mad or what?

"In simpler terms, you have a five week old fetus growing in your uterus which will turn into a human being in few weeks. So when exactly you started your CELIBACY?"

I gulped my dry throat. I'm pregnant. Is that even possible? I mean, I can have a human being inside me??, and who the bloody hell left his dirty legacy inside my personal territory??

"Um...I'm sure you have mistaken my blood with someone else's...mine was...little darker...yeah...mine was kinda darker in sha...." I was explaining and she cut me through.

"Miss.stevenssss..... it's not wrong. I'm sure you are pregnant. Don't worry, just find the daddy" she said it so calm...and started resuming her paperwork...why such people exist in the world. Mean blood-draining calm about pregnancy people. I hate them.

I took the report and looked at it several times. That Jaden...that son of a bitch adulterous Jaden left his stupid stupid sperm inside me. I'm not gonna spare him. I'll tell his wife and ask for a good apartment.

Brighter side of celibacy, at least I can tell who the damn father is!

I ran back to my office, clutching the report as useless piece of crap muttering to myself about what will I say to Jaden. My eyes were on the floor and no matter how hard I try to hide my fear and happiness altogether of this growing person inside me, I could feel people's gaze on me and ouuchhhh...! My head got hit with something and I, in reaction, was about to fall when a pair of hands held me firm. Ouhhh...Mr.Dreamy Woods. It's him......! But ohhhhhh...I'm pregnant.

"I'm sorry.." I muttered suddenly not looking up at him, it's kinda embarrassing to be pregnant and hit your super-rich-and-sexy supervisor.

"Miss.Stevens are you okay..? What did the doctor say?" He said looking down, maybe trying to catch my eyes. I nodded a little and heard chairs shifting and Cristina and Mike coming to me too. God, don't make me popular...please...I got the charms...but please...!

"Yeah Iris.. what's in the report..?"
Asked Cristina.

"Reports?? They did a blood test..?". Mr.Dashing Woods asked and my hands immediately crushed the report in my hands right that moment making the churning sound and gaining attention to it. Embarrassing dead meat now!

"Ouh...the report...looks like Iris didnt like it.." Cristina sang while taking the report out from my grip. I resisted.

"Guys... it's nothing...I'm fine..as I said."

"Oh come on honey...you would have walked in super sass if that would have been the case...let us know comeon...we are your friends.." my foot.

"Cristina..please..." I said again, but she, bloody wrestler heir, snatched the paper, straightened it a little and read it out loud.

"Ouh(gasps dramatically) Poor Iris is PREGNANT" holy crap!! Celibacy is no more a choice now, is it?

I could hear the gasps from all over the floor. Everybody was looking at me and murmuring things. I saw Mike leaving us in anger, when did I vow to marry him? Anyways. Hate Cristina.. seriously hate her.

"Alright guys...leave the girl alone.." Mr.Woods ( don't remember more adjectives) said and shushed everyone. I felt a huge pile of emotions rushing to my adrenaline and waiting impatiently to burst out. I ran to my desk while people still kept staring me. Mr.Woods was back to his cabin.
Gonna sue that bastard Jaden now.

It was 6'o clock when I left the office and entered Joe's, after five weeks. Joe waved at me cheerfully. I waved him back, sadly.

"Iris...long time no see huh....got something serious with last boy, I bet you did"  man....is it that obvious?

"No Joe....he was married... cheating his wife with me...bloody...mo...." I stopped. Can't use bad words in front of the B-A-B-Y.

"Wellll....what's with your health darling...?" He took my whole attention, does pregnancy appears on face as well?

"What...what's with my health...Im perfectly fine...I'm...I'm celibate...I'm celibate I'm fine...nothing wrong.." I said trying to sound as confident and fine I could.

"Oh honey...you are so doomed..." Joe said forwarding a tequila shot towards me. My emotions...oh they are hitting again because I can't bloody drink when there's a B-A-B-Y waiting inside with open mouth. I couldn't hold, Joe was standing there holding the tequila bottle in his hand, the bar was not so crowded today. I felt like loosing it, at least this was the only place I could loose everything. It was my place.

"Iris...what's wrong..."
I cried more louder this time... everything.... everything is wrong...I wanted to yell and tell everybody...that I was happy and sad and frieghtened and alone AND pregnant...all at once.

"Iris...calm down....have this...have a shot.."

"I can't....can't you see...I can't drink alcohol...I'm five goddamn weeks pregnant Joe...that adulterous bastard made me pregnant and now I don't even know where he lives...or don't even have his contact...I liked him, I still kinda do, and Mr.Woods...well he won't look at me, there's no chance of me with good boys Joe....and now I'm pregnant and alone and... desperate to drink...." I sobbed in between my words and poured out my whole heart on the bar counter. Always a wrong place though!

That bursting lead me into the confidence of calling my mom and telling her about it. Joe really helped me with pineapple juice mocktail and said good comforting things to cheer me up. He is my only friend, I presume.
I went to my apartment that night and called my mom, Just to make that night the worst of my life.

She yelled at me and told me to never call her again as I disappointed and tainted her efforts and hopes by getting involved in all this and now getting pregnant as well. She was totally ashamed of me, my heart broke more. I couldn't convince her to forgive me anymore, she just made me see the mirror of reality. How alone, pathetic and useless I made of myself. She said I was just like my father...the one things she hates. I couldn't bear it anymore and cut the call and promised myself to never call her again, just as she asked to. Mothers do hate slutty kids.

Months passed and I started earning less or perhaps spending more. You deadly need someone, especially when you are growing a baby inside yourself. I didn't talk much to anybody in the office, neither anyone else bothered. I kept my distances with Mr.Woods also, can't trust another man. Hope Jaden would have gotten syphilis.

Various times the thought of aborting the baby crossed my mind and I even visited some hospitals to know about the procedure and all but never gathered the courage to go and lie down on the table where some butchers will come and kill my bday out of my body. I stopped going to Joe's also, so apparently the baby was the only one who would listen to me about all my problems and about my pathetic life in which most of it was, ironically because of the baby. Those voids I always dodged and neglected to look for, started highlighting more now. I spend nights curled up in my bed whining with pain, be it physical or emotional. This was not me, this was so not the Iris Stevens I grew up as since last twenty four years. This baby inside me, was eating me slowly everyday.

It was my sixth and half month when suddenly one night, I realised, what am I going to tell the baby about his/her father. How am I going to feed it and work simultaneously, when even now as well I've begged Mrs.Webbers to postpone my rent, for the sake of baby food. She, being a sensitive woman, agreed with me, but what after when I'll deliver it. I should not..
Yes...I should not deliver it. No matter how hard it is and how terrific it will be, I should abort the baby, for it's own good.

I visited the hospital next day, but they simply denied to abort my baby saying it was six months old now and doing the procedure might kill me as well. At first the thought shuddered me, but then again...what's the point. I'm ordinary, as ordinary as a dead leaf of autumn, what's the point of staying when I can have nothing. Nihilism can be very nerve-wrecking at times. I shooed the thoughts away, it's not Iris talking...it's the pain and the worries and the mood swings talking...no killing anyone.

*****************************

Stay connected to know what happened to Iris and how she ended up meeting Angela and Lucifer.

Keep voting and commenting your views.

Stay happy and healthy.
Signing off
Shruti!