I decided to go out at first light. I was getting hungry, and I began to look for something for breakfast. The usual grass, weeds, and dandelions wouldn't do this morning. I was HUNGRY! I wanted the good stuff – romaine lettuce, Swiss chard, and carrots. Especially carrots - I LOVE carrots!

I wiggled out of my "hole" hidden under a large forsythia bush. I had spent all spring digging the "hole." The "hole" was, in fact, a complex system of tunnels with various points of entrance and exit throughout a large area. During most of the daytime, I preferred to run around outdoors unless it was unbearably hot, then I would retreat to the cool confines of my underground home.

Next to the row of forsythias is a large plot of grass. Sometimes I like to run and hop on the lawn. A dopey golden retriever will often walk along the grassy edge. Once in a while, that dumb dog will see me and give chase. I don't know if he's trying to catch me or just chasing me off of his property. Either way, he makes an absolute fool of himself. One time he got tangled up in some bramble bush trying to catch up with me. I had a good laugh that day. Dogs are so stupid!

But on this particular day, I was too hungry to play games with a kooky canine. I decided to go after the main prize – the sumptuous vegetable garden in the backyard. There was only one problem, albeit a minor one. A tall chicken wire fence surrounded the plot of hearty vegetables. It meant I would have to spend some extra time burrowing under the barrier. I picked a discreet location and tunneled my way through in no time.

I felt like a kid in a candy store, as they say. And although I've heard of the expression, I have no idea what candy is, let alone how it might taste. I decided to start with some lettuce for an appetizer before searching for the carrots, assuming there were any. Besides, carrots would involve a bit of effort to dig out. Not that I cared. I just thought I'd save the best for last.

As I was gnawing on a big leaf of romaine, I kept a sharp lookout for the golden retriever or anyone else who didn't make me feel welcome. That's when my eyes caught sight of the most horrendous, hideous, disgusting thing imaginable – a clothesline full of rabbit fur pelts! Not only did I immediately lose my appetite, but I nearly threw up at the mere thought of such a thing.

Just as I was about to high-tail the heck out of there, the owner of the place appeared. I could see he meant business with his shotgun in hand and watchdog at his side. I scrambled toward the hole I had made earlier and managed to squeeze under the fence as a gunshot nearly blew my tail off.

Story and Cover Illustration Copyright © 2021 by Michael DeFrancesco