Chapter XV: The Ending -υи¢єиѕσяє∂-
[Warning! This chapter contains explicit material of sexual nature. Be warned! Can I hear a woot woot? XD]
Chapter XV: The Ending -υи¢єиѕσяє∂-
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"Sometimes the things that are felt the most are expressed between two souls over the distance and over time...where no words abide. And others may speak freely, live with one another freely, express themselves freely- just like everyone else, but then there is you... you have no words for proof of reassurance, no tokens of professed love, but you have something. Something worth keeping."
― C. JoyBell C., Saint Paul Trois Ch Teaux: 1948.
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When Dex got home from work that night, Timmy had started to paint again. He had spread his canvas out on the kitchen table, the paint at his fingertips, with soft music playing from the stereo in the living room. Haley was sprawled on the couch, thumbing through a magazine and bobbing her head along with the beat. Dex hung up his coat and dropped his bag in the hall, and she glanced over at him before giving a small wave. Dex returned it.
Timmy didn't look up until Dex had joined him in the kitchen, but when he did, it was with a beaming smile that showed his dimples. "Hi."
"You're painting," Dex said, unable to articulate anything else. Because he could remember the first time he saw Timmy paint, last year already, New Year's Eve, and how by that second time, Dex was already falling for him. He could remember the feel of Timmy warm against his back, the slick slide of paint between his fingers, the rough drag of the canvas, remembered painted trees, and people, and thoughts and memories, and snowflakes and french-fries and walks in the park, and how he'd been so screwed up and f*cked over by his own expectations, drowning himself in drink, and how Timmy had reached in there and plucked him out and made him remember what it felt like to dream, because suddenly he dreamed of Timmy and what they could be together.
Last time, thought, Timmy had painted people in sickly yellow. Now, he painted flowers with the pads of his fingers, in blue and purple and red and green. New life.
"Yes, I'm painting." Timmy reached for a light blue tube of paint and squeezed some out. "I felt like it."
"That's good." Dex smiled at Timmy, who grinned back at him. It was so easy, like this, and Dex wished he could make Timmy smile forever.
"Paint with me?" Timmy asked, offering a tube of yellow, and Dex would never be able to say no to that. So he sat, and he painted, and Timmy smiled at him all the way through it.
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It was Friday when they got the call from the hospital, asking Timmy to come in the next day for his appointment. Timmy talked to the nurse, pacing nervously the entire time and biting at this lip. "Is it gone though?" He asked her multiple times, and Dex watched his face as he listened to the answer. When he finally hung up, he turned to Dex and Haley, seated together on the couch, and smiled weakly. "She said it's good news," he said. "She hasn't seen the scans herself, but she says the oncologist says it's good."
Haley folded double in her seat, hand flying out and clutching at Dex's. "Oh thank God," she whispered, and then she was up from the couch and squeezing Timmy tight, and they were both tearing up as they held each other, swinging gently from side to side. Dex sat back and let the information soak in-good news. It was good news.
Timmy was going to live.
And suddenly, there was a whole new future for him to dream.
But why did it feel like nothing has changed?
Dex didn't even notice he was crying-crying with relief, with disappointment that nothing felt different, with unknown emotions that somehow needed to be expressed through tears-until Timmy sat down beside him and pulled him into his arms, stroking his hair and murmuring 'Shhh...' as Dex turned his face into Timmy's chest and clung to him.
It should be the other way around.
"I need to see it for myself," Timmy told him when Dex expressed this out loud. "I just...need to see the scans myself, and then I'll believe it."
Dex could respect that, and thought, partially, that was what his problem was as well. How could you just accept something that changed your life for so long was just gone, without seeing it for yourself? He kissed Timmy's temple and leaned against his shoulder, and watched as Timmy ordered Haley to his feet and braided her hair into careful, tiny braids.
Dex slept alone again that night, and he could hear Timmy and Haley whispering to each other, giggling softly as they exchanged stories and catch-up. He wondered what Haley was feeling now. She knew Timmy was going to live, seemed to have accepted it without the reassurance that Dex and Timmy both needed, that she would have that one person who loved her and adored her, even if her own personal fairytale had gone horribly wrong. She would always have one prince to carry her away into the sunset, even if she only really wanted someone else.
And, in this way, she hadn't failed to protect him. Even if Haley didn't notice in school until it was too late, now she was aware, and she could hold Timmy in her arms and tried to keep him safe.
He wondered if that would be enough this time.
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The next day, Dex brought Timmy in for his final appointment with the doctor. Haley told Timmy she could come too, but he just pushed her back to the couch and said he was fine. She was still exhausted and moody, and would probably do no good at the hospital besides perhaps annoy the nurses. So Dex called the two of them a taxi, and they sat silent all the way to the hospital, hands clenched tight between them. Somehow, Timmy ended up with his head leaning on Dex's shoulder, and Dex kissed his hair and threaded an arm around behind his back.
He must be so tired. He'd been fighting for years-against abusive social workers, bullies, against his loneliness, against hunger and poverty and then against something in his own head-and now there was a chance for him to stop, to actually rest and recover and remember what it meant to have a chance.
Dex wouldn't be surprised if Timmy went back to the apartment and wanted to sleep for months.
The cabbie dropped them off at the front of the hospital and they walked hand in hand through the front, doors, to the elevator, down the hallway to the oncologist's office. Timmy went to sit in one of the plushy waiting room chairs with the other silent patients as Dex headed to the counter and checked in. He signed the forms for the payment plans, and once again, thought about the people out there without the money to do such a thing, the people who would die because of a stupid thing like numbers printed on green slips of paper.
Timmy had closed his eyes and tilted his head back against the wall, hands working uselessly in the hem of his shirt, when Dex got back to him. He didn't react when Dex sat down next to him. Dex considered picking up a magazine, but one glance at the cover told him that reading about some reality star's boob job gone wrong wouldn't help at all-maybe triviality could keep people from seeing the problems in the first place, but it did a really awful job of covering it over. Dex wondered if it worked for some people. It must. Otherwise, how could the world be such a messed up place, if distractions like movie stars and cat videos didn't capture so much more attention than people starving in the streets?
When the nurse came in and called Timmy's name, he opened his eyes slowly and turned to stare at Dex, as if searching for confirmation.
"I'm right here," Dex muttered, leaning in and catching Timmy's cheek in the palm of his hand. "You got this."
Timmy took a shuddering breath, eyes flickering over the nurse waiting patiently in the door before they return to Dex. "I'm scared," he whispered.
Dex smiled weakly at him. "You will be okay," he promised, and instantly he was not sure what the point of it was. His words couldn't do anything-he couldn't take away Timmy's fear any more than he could somehow erase the last years of Timmy's life and give them to him anew. He wanted to do both so badly. But words were pointless things, useless, and Dex hated it, because even those words he kept so close to himself, when said out loud, were entirely useless as well. And did he-the boy who played truant in school, who followed mindlessly in his parents' wishes, who found a place in a mundane office painted in tones of beige and only found his way out when Timmy barreled into his life with the smell of paint on his fingers and a sharpie tucked behind his ear-even have any courage to give?
But Timmy still took it, his lips twitching up as he reached over to squeeze Dex's hands, and then he was walking away, buoyed on Dex's gift of courage and promise that really didn't exist at all, because Dex couldn't give him something that he didn't have.
That was not true though, Dex realized as he watched Timmy follow the nurse through to the doctor's office. He had learned it, learned how to brave, in these past few months.
Maybe it was not the same type of bravery. He never rode off to slay a dragon or defeat a witch or become some sort of chivalrous prince. He never kept himself alive in New York City from the age of nine, fought against abusive social workers and bullies that haunted his chidhood and then battle against an intruder in his head for over a year and a half. He hadn't dealt with constant heartbreak, chasing his love halfway across the world only to realize that someone else needed him more, and abandoning that thing that had defined him for so long. No, he didn't have those sorts of bravery.
But he had that sort that kept him going. The sort that allowed him to love Timmy, even when everything else was falling apart, with that sort of passionate love that most people would call insanity. The sort that allowed him to brush aside the consistencies of his life, the 'have-beens', and see instead the 'could bes', even when the could be's were so much more terrifying. And while some people might look at that and not see bravery, Dex knew that it was. He didn't need anyone else to tell him.
For the first time in a long time, Dex felt brave.
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It was half an hour before Timmy let himself back into the waiting room, closing the door gently behind him. Dex was at his side instantly, and Timmy turned to him, pale and exhausted, but with a wonder lighting his skin.
"It's gone," Timmy whispered, staring at Dex with wide and misting lavender eyes. "It's all...done. It's done."
And suddenly everything was real.
"Thank God," Dex murmured, and then Timmy was in his arms, clinging tight to his shoulders with the tears spilling down his cheeks. Timmy pulled back, placed his hands on Dex's face, and kissed him, hard, right there in the middle of the waiting room. As if they had been doing that for ages, as if they were just a normal couple, that kisses and hugs and said 'I love you' every day without restrictions, without complications. His mouth was soft, warm, and wet, and desperate.
He was shaking in Dex's grasp.
"Hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay..." Dex whispered when they pulled apart. Because it was. It really was.
Timmy gave a watery laugh and buried his face in Dex's shoulder. "I can't believe it's over," he muttered. "I just...I can't..."
Dex rubbed his back and closed his eyes, blocking the stares of the people around them. "You did it. You did it Timmy. I'm so proud of you."
"Me too," Timmy giggled. Dex chuckled, and opened his eyes.
Only now that Timmy believed it could it actually be over. It was not some sort of sick dream, but a reality.
Timmy was alive, and safe, and healthy.
Dex could barely wrap his head around the idea.
He remembered when he first met Timmy, when he didn't even know his name. Just a stranger in a bar, that random nineteen-something bar-goer who pitied Dex for being lonely and disappeared out of his life just as suddenly as he'd arrived. And then back again, named now, with paint on his hands and a promise of happiness, someone who Dex could love but not really know. Disappearing once more for eight months, and then back again on the dirty floor of a bar, and suddenly sick, hopeless but not helpless, and suddenly someone that Dex could know and love but wasn't supposed to.
Now what was he? A broken person glued back together. Someone lost who knew the way now.
He was the person Dex loved and wanted to be with for the rest of his life. And now he had that chance.
"I love you so much," Dex whispered, and watched as Timmy froze and his eyes softened.
Timmy couldn't say it back yet, Dex understood. Not so quick, not so easy. "I know," he said instead, but it was good enough. He kissed Dex's nose and smiled. "Let's go home."
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The kissing started in the elevator rode up, and Dex fell into it-he had wanted this for so long now he didn't bother to question. Hot and quick, with hands already untucking shirts and ruffling hair. Dex pinned Timmy to the wall and chuckled as he kissed down his jaw, his neck. "How long do you think Haley would be mad at us if we kick her out?"
"A long time," Timmy replied breathlessly as Dex tilted his head back up to catch his lips in his own.
"Mmm...let's do it anyway." The elevator shifted and stopped, and the door slid open. Dex kissed him one more time before grabbing his hand and dragging Timmy down the hall to his apartment. Dex unlocked the door with fumbling hands, and they tumbled inside, Dex immediately shutting the door and pressing Timmy up against it. Dex fitted his hands to the dip of Timmy's slim waist and his mouth to the curve of his neck, nipping at the skin there and making Timmy gasp. This felt so natural, so right, and Dex's couldn't remember why they hadn't been doing this all along.
"Hey, how'd it...whoa!"
They tore away from each other to find Haley staring at them from the hallway. She made a face and clutched her mug tighter, but a hint of smile was slowly creeping at her lips. "I take it no unpleasant surprises? Because I did not need to see that."
"Then you might want to go out for a couple of hours," Timmy told her, blushing as he did. She blanched, and retreated to the kitchen.
"Give me five minutes, good Lord."
"Three!" Timmy called after her.
"Give me time to finish my coffee!"
"Two!"
"F*ck you!"
"Planning on it!" Timmy sang back, and Dex chuckled. Dex took his hand, pulling him away from the door, across the living room, and towards the bedroom. Timmy closed the door behind them and initiated the kiss this time, biting Dex's lip and swaying from side to side when he was done, eyes shining in the afternoon light streaming through the window. It was shy, and sweet, and Dex remembered the Timmy he'd held in bed, those first kisses. That very first kiss that Dex had stopped in the shower. Dex frowned slightly and placed his hands on Timmy's face.
"Timmy...what are we doing?"
Timmy blushed, and placed his hands over Dex's, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "I really don't know actually. I have no clue what's going to happen next. But...I do know that right now, in this moment...I really want to be with you. Now that...that I know it all won't be over soon. That this can be forever." He reopened his eyes and smiled tentatively. "You...you mean a lot to me, Dex. This....this would mean something, to me. A lot, actually."
"You want to...you want to sleep together?"
Timmy wrinkled his nose. "I...I..want to...with...someone who loves me." He took Dex's hands and swung them down between them, looking down, his face flushed red. "Someone who might have made me love him back."
Dex leaned forward and kissed him, slipping his tongue between the plush velvet of Timmy's lips and reveling in the taste of him, minty and cool.
There was a sudden knocking on the door behind them, and Haley called through, "Be safe, boys!" Her footsteps retreated down the hall, and they heard the front door slam shut.
Dex raised an eyebrow and glanced at Timmy, who bit his lip to stifle a laugh. "How do you do this, again?"
"I generally find kissing you until I can't breathe is a good start."
"I'd like that."
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A/N: Warning !! The next part contains some explicit content. Get beside a fan or something. Phew!
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Dex grinned and kissed him again, hands working around Timmy's back to ruck his shirt up out of his pants. He slipped his hands underneath, fingers kneading into the muscles of his back. Dex pressed forward, tilting Timmy back and forcing him towards the bed. They toppled over together, Timmy with his full weight on Dex, keeping him down. The comforter furled around them in billowing waves, cool and clean and alight with sun, and Dex flipped them over so Timmy was on his back. Timmy smiled up at him and raised his arms above his head coyly. His cheeks were bright and flushed, his hair ruffled, his lips swollen and stained red. He already looked thoroughly debauched. Dex lowered his head to nip at his neck-Timmy's skin practically colored pink at the contact, and Dex knew already that he wanted to mark his body up until Timmy unraveled beneath him. He slid his hands up the front of Timmy's chest, skimming over ribs and muscles, and pulled up his shirt until he could move down and press a kiss to the hollow of Timmy's ribcage. He darted his tongue out and swirled it into his navel, licking down to the tops of his pants and blowing on the trail he left behind. Timmy gasped in surprise and moaned, his legs thrashing impatiently. Dex kissed him, right above the waistband of his pants, and popped the button. He slid the zipper down slowly and moved his hands down to Timmy's knees, bunching the fabric and sliding his pants down by a few inches.
"Do you really suck that much at taking clothes off?" Timmy asked owlishly, propping himself up on his elbows.
"Shush you." Dex kissed the top of his thigh, right beneath the seam of his boxer-briefs. "I'm worshipping you."
"You are not." Timmy blushed and giggled, wriggling up the bed, reaching down and dragging his pants and socks off before Dex could stop him. "I'm not a god."
Dex threw himself back up the bed and pinned Timmy down. "Are to me," he mumbled, burying his face in Timmy's neck. His fingers started fumbling with Timmy's shirt once more.
"Take turns!" Timmy chastised him, and he started with the buttons of Dex's shirt, one by one. His fingers were cool against Dex's chest, the touch fleeting, but before long he stroked his hands up over Dex's shoulders and down his arms, slipping the shirt away. "Much better." He giggled, lifted his head and kissed the junction between Dex's chest and shoulder. Dex leaned in to fit their mouths together once more, and skimmed his hand down Timmy's leg, palm brushing against the light smattering of hair. He gripped him gently behind the knee and brought his leg up and around Dex's own waist, and Timmy pulled Dex against him tighter, giving a small whimper when their hips jotted together. He rolled his hips upwards, an even though there was still far too much fabric between them to do much, Dex still felt the rush of heat and blood downwards. Timmy pressed up against him again, and again, beginning to get a steady rhythm going, before groaning and unslinging his leg.
"Pants off. Now." Dex ordered. Timmy rolled away and Dex helped him pull his shirt over his head, chucking it onto the pillows before undoing the button of his jeans and yanking them off his legs, followed by his socks.
Timmy grinned and yanked Dex back on top of him, threading his legs back over him and forcing them together. Their pulsating member brushed through the thin barrier of their underwear, and Timmy spiralled out of control as he started thrusting up steadily into Dex, his breath starting to come faster and more ragged. Dex moved so he could support his weight on one arm and worked his other hand down to Timmy's hips, yanking him up as he rolled himself down.
He'd thought he had some idea of what this would feel like, from nights spent pressed naked body against naked body, but now, having Timmy beneath him panting into his neck as he bucked his hips up, it was so different from what he'd imagined. So different from what he had ever experienced. Warm and supple and dynamic, always moving with the thrum of blood beneath their veins. He could feel his member hardening with every stroke of their bodies, and Timmy was beginning to clutch at his back and move faster and faster, breath escaping in sharp gasps.
"Wait..." Dex stopped, pressed himself onto Timmy and stilling him. "We can...slow down. We have time."
"Or we could just fuck multiple times. I like that option," Timmy muttered, squirming beneath him and grinning impishly when Dex groaned. "There is something I w-want to try."
"What do you have in mind?"
"Can I...blow you? Please?"
"Jesus Christ," Dex whispered, and then Timmy was flipping them over and sliding down Dex's body, licking and nipping as he went. Dex knew that generally, the first time with someone was supposed to be filled with small insecurities-was my dick too small, was that small bit of pudge around my waist a huge turn-off, am I too hairy?-but he had spent too many nights wrapped up in Timmy for it to matter anymore. They had seen each other more naked in more ways than Dex would have thought possible, and this new form of intimacy had no stress, no worries attached. Dex let go, and knew he was safe.
Timmy latched his mouth to Dex's hip and began to bite gently and suck, lavishing the sting with his tongue. Dex threw his head back into the blankets and tried not to move as Timmy licked across to his other hipbone and moved his hands to the tops of Dex's boxer-briefs, tugging them slowly down his legs before tossing them to the floor. He kissed Dex's stomach, once, and Dex propped himself up on his elbows just in time to catch Timmy's saucy wink before he gripped the base of Dex's member in one hand and sunk his mouth down over it. His lips were soft and warm and wet, sliding down, and his tongue trailed along the prominent vein of the underside, teasing and ticklish. He moved his head down a few inches, and sucked his lips tight before dragging back up.
"Oh God," Dex gasped, neck arching back towards the ceiling, and he forced himself not to buck up into the heat of Timmy's mouth. "Oh God, oh God, oh..."
Timmy moaned around his member and released it with a slick 'pop' of his lips. "Am I doing it right?" He looked at Dex with his violet eyes large, that of a puppy whining for a praise.
"Yeah, yeah, okay," Dex groaned, and Timmy took his member back in his mouth, lips stretched tight and pink and silky around him. His tongue darted back out to tease the vein, and he started moving up and down, never more than a few inches, teasing. Dex fists clenched and unclenched in the blankets, and he was torn between staring down at Timmy and back up at the ceiling. Timmy had an expression of intense concentration, eager to please, and he moved one hand to pin down Dex's hips, which had started to circle in the air involuntarily.
"Timmy..."
Timmy pulled off and shrugged. "It's fine." He bent back over and took the very tip of Dex's member in his mouth, pressing his tongue into the slit and lapping at the precome gathering there.
"Oh f*ck!" Dex's hands flew up to his hair, wrapping in his curls and tugging. "Timmy, f*ck..."
"Mmm..." Timmy hummed happily, and continued to lick around the tip, occasionally bobbing his head down a little bit and sucking back up. His other hand reached up and wrapped around the rest of Dex's member, stroking slowly up and down, sliding in the pre-come and spit his mouth had left behind. He began moving his hand faster and faster, and Dex lost control of his vocal cords, crying out and groaning with each movement. He was barely aware of the fact Timmy had started to rut against the bed, his movements bouncing the mattress up and down with every thrust. Suddenly, he moved his mouth down and licked, hot and wet, across Dex's perineum and up around his balls. Dex shouted and his eyes slammed shut as Timmy did it again, and he knew he was muttering frantically to himself. He felt Timmy pull away, and then his mouth was on Dex's, forcing his tongue between his lips. He reached his hand down and began to jerk Dex off rapidly, shifting so he could press his own member against Dex's leg and began moving against him.
"Timmy Timmy Timmy oh my god!" Dex's legs thrashed as he felt his orgasm build, that familiar tightening in his lower stomach that spreaded through his limbs.
"Mmm...Dex," Timmy moaned, sucking Dex's bottom lip between his teeth and biting as he swiped his thumb over Dex's slit and tightened his grip. Dex gasped and cried out wordlessly and suddenly he was coming all over Timmy's hand and his own stomach, sticky on his skin, and Timmy just kept working him through it even as he bucked against Dex's leg desperately.
Dex groaned as his orgasm began to wind down, leaving his member soft and oversensitive. Timmy removed his hand and flipped over onto his back beside Dex, moving his come-covered hand to begin jerking himself off. His head slammed back and his eyes fluttered shut, the motion of his arm shaky and arrhythmic with need.
Dex fought to get his breathing back under control and rolled over onto his side, feeling like his limbs had turned into jelly. "Let me," he murmured, kissing up Timmy's neck lazily. He reached down and removed Timmy's hand, replacing it with his own and starting to move it up and down Timmy's member. Timmy came with a sharp cry in minutes, hips lifting up until the air as his come spattered over his stomach, and then collapsing back down to the bed. Dex covered him with kisses-on his lips, his eyelids, his nose, his jaw. "I love you, love you, love you, love you..." he whispered between every brush of his mouth.
Eventually, Timmy raised himself up onto his elbows and blushed as he looked down at his come-covered stomach. He bit his lip and turned to Dex with a smile. "I'm going to go shower real quick, okay?"
Dex stared at him, the feeling of abandonment striking him even in his post-orgasmic bliss. "Don't you want to cuddle?"
"We'll cuddle after we're done," Timmy told him, leaning over for a quick kiss. "I just want to wash up."
Oh. Oh. Dex pushed himself up and winced as he felt the slick slide of the come on his skin.
"Here." Timmy reached out to grab his discarded shirt, and swiped the come from his chest before passing it Dex. "Just...give me fifteen minutes." He stood up, back to Dex and stretched his arms above his head, so relaxed, yet so shy with his muscles shifting and straining beneath the smooth skin of his back as he silhouetted himself against the sun. And Dex was so thankful he stopped them in the shower that night, because this was what sex was supposed to be-kisses and teasing and softness and warmth, not frantic shoving and sliding beneath sheets of cold water. Timmy turned his head back towards the bed, eyes half-hooded and lips swollen pink, a flush up his cheekbone. The dust motes danced in the sunlight around him like little tiny planets, lost in a galaxy, and Dex was pretty sure this was one of the most beautiful sights he would ever see.
This was Timmy, here in front of him, the one with the easy smile and the gentle lift of an eyebrow as he regarded Dex fondly. He was not a stranger, not an angel, not a dream, not a victim of circumstances, but wholly himself and only himself, and Dex saw it now. Saw it in the way Timmy held himself, shoulders back and without shame, in the way his fingers curled slowly towards his palms and back out again in a simple motion, in the way he reached up to push his hair back from his face. Right now, he was not defined by what he had lost, but what he had, and Dex knew that Timmy would come to discover this as well, remember what it was like to move on and start new dreams.
"What?" Timmy asked him, shifting so he could face Dex and shifted his hip to one side.
Dex shrugged and wiped the come from his stomach before setting the shirt aside and turning his gaze back to Timmy. "I just really love you, is all."
Timmy blushed, and leaned back over the bed, placing his hands on Dex's thighs and moving in for a chaste kiss. "You take my breath away," he whispered, pulling away and dragging his nose along Dex's jaw slowly, his eyelashes fluttering against Dex's skin. He couldn't say 'I love you too', not so easy, not just like that, and Dex understood. The way Timmy kissed him said all he needed.
"You better hop in the shower," Dex whispered, patting Timmy's ass fondly. "Or I might ravish you right now."
"Gimme fifteen minutes," Timmy reminded him with a smirk, and he breezed away, the clouds of dust particles furrowing in the air behind him as he walked to the bathroom and shut the door.
Dex fell back into the blankets and allowed himself to lie there for a few more minutes, waiting for the steadiness to return to his limbs as he heard the shower began to run. He hopped off the bed and gathered up their discarded clothes, dumping them in the laundry basket. He set Timmy's come-stained shirt on top, and grabbed the stain remover out of the closet and set it nearby so he would remember to treat it later. He folded the top blankets down on the bed, arranging them neatly, and quickly cleared away his knick-knacks from the bedside table. There. Much better.
He didn't notice when the shower turned off, but after a few minutes of walking aimlessly around the room and debating whether or not to put something on, he did notice the silence. He ran his hands through his hair distractedly and went to sit on the bed, back up against the headboard and the sheets pulled up to his waist. After a few minutes, Timmy poked his head out of the bathroom. "Hi."
"Hey," Dex greeted him, grinning. It was so easy, to be like this, comfortable with each other and their bodies, even this first time, and Dex realized that while they might not have a fairy tale romance where everything was perfect and normal and safe, he wouldn't ever want to change it, not if it meant giving up these moments.
Timmy moved across the room, stepping in the sunbeams, and bounced up onto the bed. His hair was still wet, and small drops of water rain down on his shoulders with the motion, running down his skin in shining tracks. He crawled up on top of Dex, perching himself in his lap, and threaded his fingers in Dex's hair before ducking his head and kissing him, hot and open-mouthed and slow. Dex's hands found their way to Timmy's hip, squeezing and kneading, and then somehow slid down to cup Timmy's ass. Timmy moaned and arched into the touch, and Dex took the opportunity to nudge his jaw up and began kissing up his neck, finding that spot behind his ear and lapping at the water gathered there.
"Good God," Timmy gasped, and Dex could feel his throat moving as he spoke. "Dex, I...."
Dex hummed and began to suck, soothing the skin with his tongue even as he marked it. His hands spreaded Timmy's cheeks apart, and he ran his fingers down and back up his crack, just barely teasing with the tip of his finger. Timmy's hands tightened in Dex's hair, and he whined, high and sharp, as Dex circled one finger around his hole, feather light. "Dex, please, just..."
Dex snatched his hands away and wrapped them around Timmy's back, shifting suddenly so Timmy was thrown onto his back with Dex on top of him. They bounced together on the mattress, fitting their mouths together and panting into each other's mouth, before Dex had his hands on Timmy's knees and was bending them up into his chest. Timmy reached up and held onto the backs of his thighs, flushed and smiling. Dex kissed him once more before running his hands down his legs, grasping and spreading his cheeks once more. He was meticulously clean, which told Dex exactly what Timmy was doing for those fifteen minutes, and the very thought of Timmy preparing himself for this made Dex's member twitch. Timmy's virgin hole was colored a dusky dark pink, and he shivered and moaned in surprise when Dex lowered his head and breathed a cool stream of air over him. "Is this okay?" Dex asked, and he noticed how raspy his voice had gotten.
"Yeah," Timmy breathed, and Dex didn't need any more confirmation. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Timmy's center, pulling away and nuzzling at his leg. He licked his lips and kissed again, and again, and Timmy gasped and whimpered above him, fingers flexing on the muscles of his legs. Finally, Dex dipped his tongue out, and ran it flat over the puckered skin. Timmy squealed and whispered, "More, please, God..." and Dex obliged, darting his tongue to lick softly around the rim, just light touches of tongue.
He had never done this before, not with anyone, and the intimacy of it made him shiver. To have Timmy spreaded before him-so vulnerable, so new, so beautiful-was both terrifying and thrilling but he also couldn't think of anyone else he would ever want to do this with, for the rest of his life.
When he finally gathered the spit on his tongue and pressed through the ring of muscle, Timmy yelped and let go of his legs. He caught himself before he hit Dex, but Dex just drew his tongue out, giving another light kiss over his entrance and pulling Timmy's legs down so his knees fell over Dex's shoulders. Timmy lifted his head and stared down across the expanse of his stomach to Dex, eyes wild and hair in disarray as he panted and moved a hand down to begin stroking himself. Dex kissed the underside of his member around Timmy's fingers and spreaded Timmy's legs farther before shuffling down and sliding his tongue back in, swirling it around and pressing, stretching Timmy out. Timmy whimpered, and Dex began to thrust in and out with a steady rhythm, hoping Timmy could feel every drag, every sensation. He lost himself in the movements, closed his eyes and just focused on the soft sounds Timmy made as he f*cked him with his tongue. Soon, it was too much, and Dex snaked a hand down to wrap around his throbbing member, beginning to stroke himself very slowly as he pressed his tongue around and drew it back into his mouth, exploring the taste-skin and sweat and sex and a touch of what Dex thought must be body lotion.
He removed Timmy's legs from his shoulders and stills his hand. Timmy propped himself up on his elbows and smiled shyly at him as Dex crawled up to lick his way into Timmy's mouth. Their members rubbed together as he lowered himself over Timmy's body, and Dex groaned. Timmy giggled weakly and took Dex's earlobe between his teeth. "How are we gonna..do it?" He whispered.
"Lube...we need lube..." Dex scrambled off of Timmy and towards the night stand. He whipped the drawer open and grabbed a condom out from beneath his copy of The Tempest and tossed it on the bed before rummaging around, searching for the bottle of lube he had purchased. "Um..."
"What?" Timmy came up behind him and draped himself over Dex's back, peppering his shoulders with kisses.
"I thought I had it..." Dex yelped as Timmy whacked him on the back of his head.
"You don't have lube?"
"I'll find some! Ow!"
"Go!"
Dex nearly fell off the bed in his haste and dashed for the bathroom, throwing the door open and slamming the cupboards open, hands fumbling through baskets and bins to find that elusive bottle. His legs were wobbly, and he leaned against the sink to keep himself upright. He heard Timmy come in after him just as he spied the familiar label. He closed his fingers around it and whipped around, almost hitting Timmy in the face. "Found it!"
"Oh. Good." Timmy grinned and kissed his cheek as he grabbed Dex's hand. "Come on then." He dragged Dex back into the bedroom and towards the bed, both of them tripping over their own feet and each other's. "I'm glad I didn't have to kill you."
Dex pushed him into the blankets and immediately hooked one of Timmy's legs over his shoulder. "Who would have done this then, hmm?" He grinned, and leaned down into Timmy, pushing his leg up into his chest and making Timmy groan as Dex kissed him. He sucked Timmy's tongue into his mouth as he popped the cap on the lube and squeezed some into his hand. He rubbed the lube between his fingers to warm it slightly and then trailed his hand down, tracing one finger around Timmy's rim, still wet and open from his tongue.
"Hurry up!" Timmy whined, and then gasped when Dex slid a finger inside, pushing against the muscle and stretching it. "Two, two now..." He breathed, his hole was tight, clenching around Dex's finger in a vice-like grip. He was clearly hurting.
"Be patient-I don't want to hurt you," Dex chastised.
Timmy gave him a 'look', that one that said 'I adore you but you're an idiot'. "I'm not going to break, you dummy. I can take it"
"Not taking chances," Dex mumbled, but he still slid his finger out and replaced it with two on the next stroke, scissoring them inside Timmy's body and making him throw his head back and shiver. He moved slowly, focusing more on the stretching than pleasuring-he wanted this to last as long as they could hold it. His thumb brushed around Timmy's rim, stretched around his fingers, and Timmy dug his heel into Dex's back, forcing him in close for a sloppy kiss. Timmy's nails scratched lightly at Dex's back, and Dex hoped he left marks. He wanted to be able to feel them later, turn around and see the red scratches on his skin in the mirror as a reminder that this was happening, this was real-they'd made it.
"Dex," Timmy whined breathlessly, and Dex withdrawed his hand only to tuck his third finger in and slip back in. Each little breathy noise of enjoyment Timmy made jolts from Dex's ears straight to his member, and he blinked hard, trying to calm himself down. He fanned his fingers out, and Timmy jolted. "Oh Dex..." He shoved Dex away and unslung his leg, forcing Dex's hand out. Dex fell back, and Timmy threw himself at him, attacking his mouth and kissing Dex until he could barely breathe. "Sit...sit up against the headboard," he whispered nervously, and Dex obeyed, crawling up towards the head of the bed and laughing when Timmy smacked his back lightly and complained, "You're slow."
"You're bossy!" Dex flipped over and leaned back against the headboard, opening his arms. Timmy flushed red.
"Well...I didn't have c-control over my own brain for a pretty long time. I guess it's nice to have something I can control, if that makes sense."
"Of course it does." Dex reached out to pull Timmy toward him, and their members brushed together as Timmy surged into his lap to kiss him-they both shuddered at the sensation. Timmy reached over and snagged the condom off of the blankets. "Can I..do it?" Dex nodded and Timmy ripped the small package open, and worked it down onto Dex's member with gentle and unpracticed motions. Dex felt dizzy at the touch. "Okay...okay...lube?"
"Got it." Timmy presented the bottle in his hand before squeezing some into his own hand and moving it down to Dex's member, trapped between them. He ran his hand up and down Dex's length, coating him with the cool substance, and then wiped his hand on the sheets. He pressed their foreheads together, eyes closed, and Dex was suddenly very grateful they were doing this in the full light of the sun, so he could make out every nuance of Timmy's expression-they flickered of his eyelashes, the slight upward twitch of his mouth, the dimples in his cheeks and the flush of his skin.
"You're beautiful," he heard himself whisper, and Timmy opened his eyes and wrinkled his nose.
"Smooth talker." He pulled his head away and grasped Dex's shoulders, lifting himself up and positioning himself in Dex's lap, hovering above his member. "Erm..Should I..s-sit down on..it?"
Dex nodded and grabbed his member, holding it still and watching as Timmy sank down onto it, the tip pushing past the barrier. Timmy moaned a little in discomfort, unmoving.
"Are you okay?" Dex asked as he fought the urge to thrust up. "Do you need me to.."
"No!" Timmy protested. "I...I just need time." Timmy took a deep breath before continuing, muscles in his thighs jumping as, inch by inch, he moved until Dex was fully inside him.
Dex had no idea, but, God, he was certain it never felt quite like this, never with a girl-this intimacy, this passion that came from being with someone he loved so much. Timmy was so tight, and warm around him, and Dex let his head fall back against the bed and moaned as Timmy, moaning at the fullness in his rectum, braced his grip on Dex's shoulders and pushed himself up, and then dropped back down. Every nerve in his body was tingling, right down to his fingertips, and he grabbed onto Timmy's hips and helped him move, setting a steady pace.
"Oh...God...you feel so good..." Timmy sobbed, leaning over and panting into Dex's neck. He sank down onto Dex's member once more and shifted his hips experimentally. Dex sucked in breathe between his teeth and squeezed Timmy's hips as the movement jolted through him. Timmy did it again, and yelped in surprise and ecstasy, fingernails biting into Dex's skin. Dex was pretty sure Timmy just found his prostate. He nudged Timmy up half an inch and then slammed his hips up into him, and Timmy jerked, moaning, "Oof," into the hollow of Dex's throat. He lifted himself up and dropped down at the same instant Dex bucked up once more, and they both moaned with pleasure, hands beginning to shake. The sun slanted off of the sweaty skin of Timmy's chest, making him shine as they began to settle into a pattern, and his face was lit with a smile even as he gasped and shook, Dex's member sliding inside him with every move as each thrust drove him deeper and deeper into Timmy's body.
There was no breath for talking, not anymore. Timmy's legs began to tremble as he grew more and more exhausted, but he kept moving, never stilling or slowing. He locked eyes with Dex for a moment before another thrust had him throwing his head back and biting his lip to contain the sound. Dex migrated his hands from Timmy's hips to his ass, squeezing and pulling his cheeks apart further and pushing his member even harder into Timmy's body.
Timmy whimpered again, and his motions started to falter, getting faster and more erratic, until suddenly he was opening his mouth in a silent cry, his come spattering between them. He moved one hand from Dex's shoulder and began stroking up and down his member, working through his orgasm until the trembling had stopped. The feeling of his muscles pulsating around Dex almost drove him over as well, and he could feel the rush starting in the pit of his stomach as Timmy breathed deeply and looks at him with hooded eyes. "Keep going."
"What?"
"Keep going, come on..."
"Okay." Dex wrapped his arms around Timmy and thumped them down so Timmy was on his back, legs in the air. Dex pulled back until his member had almost slipped out of Timmy's ass, and then slams back in, jerking his hips wildly as he tried to come. Timmy was writhing beneath him, fisting his hands in the blankets and then in Dex's hair, and he must be so oversensitive right now, but he was still whispering, "Dex, Dex, Dex," under his breath and dragging Dex towards him with his legs wrapped around Dex's thighs. Timmy's hands found their way to his ass, and with one gentle swipe of a finger down his crack to his hole, Dex's coming, shouting and collapsing on top of Timmy, who petted the sweaty, sticky skin of his back and whispered soft, meaningless phrases as Dex came down.
They stayed like that, Timmy's come drying between them and sticking them together, and it was gross, yes, but Dex loved it. He absolutely loved it.
........................................................
They showered together, scrubbing each other clean with loofahs and using up all of Dex's watermelon scented body wash. When the bottle was almost empty, Timmy filled it with water and squirted bubbles at Dex, drawing on his back with shampoo and washing it clean. Dex worked shampoo into Timmy's hair with gentle hands, and when he rinsed it away, not a single hair fell down to the bottom of the tub. Dex kissed him, in the warm stream of water, and Timmy kissed him back. When they got out, Timmy walked over to where the mirror was foggy with steam, and carefully drew a heart, and etched 'T+D' right in the center and smiled shyly at Dex. They dressed each other, Timmy in Dex's sweatshirt and a pair of boxers, and Dex in boxers, and stripped the bed, bundling the sheets and replacing them with fresh ones.
They ordered pizza, and sat in the living room cross-legged on the floor eating it, with a Gilligan's Island marathon playing in the background. Afterwards, they washed their dishes in the sink and retreated back to the bedroom, falling onto the bed and cuddling up into each other's arms. Timmy was the first to fall asleep, and Dex followed soon after, and he was pretty sure this was one of the most amazing days of his life.
........................................................
Haley woke them up with a sharp knocking on the door. "Should I assume I'm sleeping alone on the couch tonight?"
Timmy whined and rubbed at his eyes before stretching his arms above his head languorously. "Yep," he called. "Goodnight Haley."
"'Night." Dex could hear her footsteps echoing down the hall, and after a few minutes, the sound of the television starting up. Timmy hummed and cuddled into his chest.
"How are you?" He asked, batting his lashes at Dex.
"Amazing." Dex kissed the tip of his nose. "And you?"
"Same."
They laid there and listened to the sound of what seemed to be some sort of modeling show, and Dex lost himself in the way Timmy's thumb was stroking over his shoulder. Eventually, the television turned off, and there was only silence, but for the distant sound of beeping cars and sirens.
"Dex?" Timmy murmured, leaning in and nuzzling their noses. "You love me, right?"
"With everything," Dex whispered back, catching Timmy's wrist and pressing a kiss to the hot skin of his palm.
"And you waited for me," Timmy continued, moving his other hand to wrap around Dex's shoulder. "Right?"
"I did, yes," Dex replied, blinking. "Why?" He shuffled closer under the covers, moved so his hands could cup Timmy's waist and pull him closer.
Timmy didn't meet his eyes. "Would," he croaked, before clearing his throat and trying to turn away. Dex didn't let him-he gripped him tighter, forced him to stay pressed up against his body.
"Sweetheart, what is it?"
Timmy sighed, and closed his eyes before pressing their foreheads together. "Would you give up if I asked you to wait just a few more months?"
Dex frowned, studying Timmy's face, so close he had to be nearly cross-eyed to see. "Why?"
Timmy's hands moved to Dex's hips, holding him. "Because when I come back, it will be for the rest of my life. It won't be for a year or two of dating before a mutual break-up, or a three month fling that neither of took seriously that ends in disaster." He bit at his bottom lip worriedly. "It will be me needing to be with you forever. As in...I'd marry you on the spot. I know that you're that one person and I don't have to search anymore." His eyes flickered open, and caught on Dex's. "But I never thought I'd be alive to even have that chance. And ever since...ever since running away, I've been so...so lost, Dex, you have no idea. And now that I know that I'm not just going to die...I need just a few months, on my own, to remember who I am again. Does...does that make sense?"
"So..." Dex propped himself up on one elbow. "This afternoon...you knew you were going to leave?" That hurt, more than he thought it should. Was every touch now Timmy counting down to the last, every kiss closer to none at all? Was what they'd done Timmy's way of saying goodbye, when Dex had interpreted it as a hello, and a promise? How many times could expect him to...
"No," Timmy whispered. "Because I don't know what your answer is yet."
Dex cut the rant off in his head, and frowned at Timmy, confused. "What?"
"Because if you'd give up, I won't leave. I won't leave ever again if it means keeping you." Timmy stared at him, eyes flashing in the dying light of the sun.
Dex flopped back down to the pillows and took Timmy's face in his palms. "But you...you need to remember who you are...you need to do that..."
"I need you more," Timmy choked out, and Dex surged forward to crush their lips together.
"I love you, I love you, I love you..." Dex breathed against his mouth, kissing him again and again. "I'll wait. I'll wait years. I love you..."
"I know," Timmy whispered. "And when I come back, I'll be able to love you too, completely. But I feel like I can't even say I love you right now without it sounding like a lie because I don't know what exactly 'I' means anymore."
Dex felt the lump rise in his throat and tried to blink back the tears. He pulled back and stroked a hand down Timmy's cheek. "How long, do you think?"
"It's just February now," Timmy told him. "I think...May. I'll be back in May."
"Okay." Dex pulled him close, tried to memorize the feeling of Timmy's body against his. "Okay."
"Maybe when I come back home, we can go to Ohio?" Timmy asked hopefully. "I'd like to see my sister again."
"We can do anything," Dex whispered. "Anything at all."
Timmy smiled, and rolled them over so he was lying on Dex's chest, chin propped up on his hands. "Anything?"
"That's right."
"Spend the rest of our lives together?"
"That most of all."
........................................................
Timmy left two days later, slipping away in the early hours of the morning. Haley slept through it on the couch, completely unaware-Timmy had entrusted Dex with a letter to give to her, explaining it all. He was not sure where he was going, he told Dex, only that he needed to go, and that he would be alright. Dex still forced him to take his debit card. Timmy's a dreamer and the world needed those in order to thrive, but the dreamers also needed those people who would pick them up and dust them off when they fell.
Dex walked him downstairs to the lobby, and held him tight. "I'll miss you."
Timmy smiled sadly and kissed him. "I'll miss you too. More than you can understand. But when I get back, I'll be better. I'll...I'll be able to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And everything will be wonderful."
"I'll still miss you though." Dex wrapped his arms around Timmy a little tighter, as if that could prevent him from leaving. But Dex's didn't actually want to stop him, not at all. He knew why Timmy needed to do this, knew that he would have done the exact same thing or else something much stupider if the roles had been reversed, but that didn't stop his heart from aching. Dex took his face in his hands and kissed him, hard, sliding his tongue between Timmy's lips, eyes closed as he tried to commit every detail to memory, so he could somehow make it through these next couple of months alone. He was pretty sure Timmy was doing the same thing.
When they finally broke apart, Timmy shivered and rested their foreheads together, arms twined tight around Dex's shoulders. Dex rubbed his hands up and down Timmy's back, fitting to his curves and lines. "And you promise you'll be back?" He asked, voice coming out much softer than he'd hoped.
Timmy glanced up at him through his eyelashes, and sighed, a small smile lighting on his lips as his fingers played with the curls at the nape of Dex's neck.
"I promise."
........................................................
αυтнσя'ѕ иσтє:
A shoutout to my dearest cousin, Vi_kissme for, without them, I would have given up (DAMN YOU WRITERNORMA-BLOCKSIE!) on the naughty scene. Yes, I needed help with it cause this isn't my forte.
Anyways, get beside the fan or something... So, whaddya think about this steamy chapter? Did it live up to your expectations? I'm sorry that this intimate scene is only a one-time thing because, well, I'd never intended my first Romance novel to be smutty. :/
This is NOT the end though! There is still an epilogue, and perhaps a drabble or two before I tie up the knots. Sooo, you know what to do! *clicks clicks taps taps*
*offers everyone a tubful of VANILLA SNOW CONES*
PS. Everglow by Coldplay.
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