October 31

Toronto, Ontario

"Can I just go on record that this officially sucks?"

I nod, sipping my steaming cup of coffee carefully as I listen to Vi complain while staring down at my lab report with dread.

I'd killed my bean sprout, so it was either cheat off of Vi's photos, or fail. So here I was, trying to write about my original hypothesis, using her photos. It's like puzzle with the wrong pieces at this point.

"I know, I hate bio. I'm not sure science is my thing. Luckily for me? It's yours."

Vi pops the top off her coffee, adding yet another pack of creamer before she's finally happy with the coffee-to-cream ratio of one-to-fifty.

"I'm not talking about bio, Ellie! I'm talking about Jules and Hud. Do you think they'll be friends again? Or do you think she'll make us choose who to be friends with? I'll choose you, babe, obviously, but my plan is to try and fix our little group before it comes to that."

"You don't have to choose, Vi. Actually, I don't want you to, since that's sort of what caused this mess to begin with. I'm sure Jules and I will work it out. We were friends before she started dating Hudson, right? Plus, she knows me, despite the rumours. It's not like I'm actually dating Hudson."

Vi laughs, "Um, sorry to say, but dating is the most flattering activity the two of you are doing in those rumours. I'm honestly equally horrified by what they're saying and impressed with their creativity. Since I know they aren't true, I can say that. Sorry, facts."

I drop my head down on my knees and groan. "Vi..." I don't even know what to say. Sure, they weren't true, I knew that, and a few other people knew that, but what about the other hundreds of students hearing them?

Vi pats my shoulder in sympathy. "Sorry, babe. It will blow over, the swarm will find something else to buzz about in a few weeks."

"And what poor victim will it be about then? I'm trying not to care, Vi, but it's hard. Especially when the people I turn to for comfort or support are the people in the rumours with me. I can't even hug by best friend without drama unfolding. If I have to hear one more time that Theo picks me up after school to screw me in the back of his car, before dropping me off at Hudson's for more of the same, I might scream."

"Maybe you should consider going stag to the Royal Winter Fair...Isn't Hud your date for all the events?"

"No, Theo's my date for a few nights, too. It's not really a big deal. I'm not going to stop spending time with my friends over hateful gossip. We go together every year. Hudson and I know if we don't go together, our moms will start playing matchmaker. Plus, I know Hudson asked you to go with him as well. Should I assume the two of you are dating? Will Jules? Will Mike? Maybe that can be the next story. Boyfriend theft in the halls of Beaton. From one best friend to another—then another."

Vi's laughter makes me smile, and she bumps her shoulder against mine. "No, Jules won't think that, and I'm not worried about the gossip, or Mike. He's cute and all, but he's just too shy for me. I think he feels the same. Since I'm not interested in toning all this glorious energy down, I think we'll likely go different directions. Anyway, we're still chatting, but I don't think we'll see see one another again. Romantically, I mean."

"Ah, so Hudson's your rebound? Does he know this?" I tease her lightly, smiling over the top of the papers in my hands.

She grins back at me, shrugging. "I only said yes because I want to be part of the drama. You never spill all the goods. You're too polite to gossip, even if it's about your own stuff. I want a front-row seat from now on. Plus, it sounds like you need supervision."

Part of me wants to call Hudson and have him switch dates, so Vi ends up with Theo one night. See how much she likes her front-row seat then, when she's the star of the drama show. But I wouldn't torture Theo like that, would I?

Even as I think it, then reject the idea, I send a mental request up into the universe. Please let there be no more drama. I'm already stressed enough.

Coach Hadley was kicking off our indoor morning rowing practices again next week, now that it was getting too cold to be on the water, so I had a new daily schedule to adjust to that started at precisely five-thirty in the morning. Every morning.

Who didn't love to start their day with a five kilometre run, rain or shine, then an hour of pyramid sprints and race training on the rowing machines followed by a very public weigh-in with a team of forty girls?

I'm learning that I definitely do not.

The only thing I did love was the team feeling and the outlet for the restless, anxious energy that seems to pump through me constantly.

"I'm not sure I can take so much more drama, Vi. I have so much on my plate, I'm not sure I'll manage it all. Starting with this lab report. How am I going to write it? I killed my plant, and we had different hypotheses, so your pictures don't even make sense for my report."

Vi just laughs, then grabs my laptop from me. "Let your genius best friend help you out. Science is my bitch. You can go over my essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and my French homework. I think they need some fine tuning. Next time, we're doing the experiments together so you don't assassinate any more plants. Poor things."

Laughing, I grab her printed report and start going through her work, grateful to be doing something I was actually good at.

We make quick progress through the mountains of homework— from Bio and English to French and Geography before my phone buzzes. Luckily, I only need to lean on Vi extra hard for Bio.

Without looking at my screen, I already know it's Theo picking me up to go to the barn.

When the thought of seeing Kuna and spending time in the saddle doesn't instantly re-energize me the way I'm used to, I know I'm pushing my personal point of exhaustion.

Every night this week I've been working on reports, essays, speeches, and my art exhibit. I can't wait to drop art first chance I get next year. Aside from my photography, it's so clear that I'm no artistic soul.

For the past three nights, as soon as I was satisfied with the progress of my homework, Theo was climbing through my bedroom window. We spend hours filling out papers, requesting documents, and building a profile for Greyson on the admissions sites.

The differences in requirements for Canadian and American schools is a huge administrative burden, not to mention the NCAA athletic requirements, but we are slowly getting everything in place.

The deadline to submit is in two weeks, and part of me knows it's wrong, as does Theo, but neither of us is willing to let Greyson slide this far through the cracks.

We know his parents should support him through this; we know he should work on it himself with the guidance counsellor.

But we also know he'd off and flown to Vancouver to visit Tess—and we don't know exactly when he'll be back.

Coach will blow a gasket if he misses the first home game, though. It's all Hudson can do to keep him off the bench for missing a week of practice after their last shit storm. He'd been and was still covering for Grey with the entire team.

My phone buzzes again, so I jot down my last comments on Vi's French homework, then hand it back to her.

"I've got to go, Vi. Theo's here. Time to go see the only boy in my life who doesn't give me any trouble."

"Breakfast before class tomorrow? What time are you done practice?"

"I'll be done by seven-forty-five by the time I grab a shower. The usual spot?"

"I'll be the one with the Tim's box. I'll text Mads and Jules, too. See if we can't start ironing these wrinkles out."

I quickly pack my things, then hug Vi. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are my saviour. For bio, with the girls, for the breakfast tomorrow, for everything. I love you."

"I love you too, girlie. Laters."

I race to the locker room and grab the rest of my things, then make my way to meet Theo.

Three and a half hours, two McFlurries, and a Big Mac for Theo later, we pull up outside my house.

"You want to come in for dinner? You can stay over if you want."

Theo shifts the car into park and kills the ignition. "Dinner, I'll take you up on. But I'll head home after. I still have the bruises your pointy elbows gave me from our last sleepover."

I try to stifle my giggles, which makes him smile. "You're one to talk, you nearly decapitated me in my sleep this weekend."

"Nearly being the operative word. It was all just a ploy to get cuddled up closer to my favourite girl."

Rolling my eyes as he laughs, I lead the way into the house and drop all my gear by the basement stairs to deal with later.

"Mom, Dad! Theo's going to join us for dinner." I holler the quick warning into the kitchen, then turn to Theo.

"Wes should be home, I need a quick shower. Grab whatever you want to drink and I'll be back down in a few minutes."

When I make my way back downstairs, I'm clean, dry, and cozy in a pair of lulus and a chunky sweater.

I find Theo sprawled on the sofa with Wes, teaching him something or other on his new guitar.

Pausing in the doorway, I listen. Theo hardly plays for anyone anymore. It's something I miss hearing.

As I listen to him strum the guitar, he eventually adds the vocals, pointing at the chords on paper, then the lyrics, explaining to Wes once he sings the chorus.

"You turning my baby brother into a rockstar, Theo?"

They both turn at the sound of my voice. Wes' excitement is written across his face at the prospect.

"I need a plan B if I don't make an ace hockey player. Music seems pretty cool. Plus, Theo's super popular with the chi—"

Theo's hand claps down over Wes' lips. "Bro code, man. Don't tell the girls everything we talk about."

Wes snickers, delighted at the extra attention from Theo. He shrugs, then shoves Theo's hands away. "Elle doesn't count as a girl."

My jaw drops in surprise, then I start to laugh.

Wes blushes. "That didn't come out right, Ellie. Sorry. I just mean Theo and Hud don't keep secrets from you, and neither do I. So you're not a girl we have to keep secrets from."

"Quit while you're ahead, kiddo." Theo winks at me and I shrug, knowing what Wes means, despite the delivery of the message.

Wes clears his throat awkwardly then shifts focus, "Let's see what's for dinner. I'm starving."

I slide into the hallway, enjoying the small thrill my thick socks on the wood provide, but nearly trip over Dad when he comes around the corner. He hooks an arm around my waist, catching me as I slide. "There she is. My long-lost daughter who I hardly ever see. What's the rush, sweetie-pie?"

I giggle over his dramatic statement, then squeal when he spins, then dangles me for a moment before dropping me back to my feet. "Hi, Daddy," I stretch up to kiss his cheek, then rub my stomach, "I'm beyond hungry. I had rowing, P.E., and riding today. Theo's right behind me—and probably just as hungry." The boy is a bottomless pit after all.

Dad chuckles, "I'll be right down to join you kids, then."

Practically salivating at the thought of whatever Mom cooked, I head into the kitchen only to find that Wes and Theo have beat me to the table and are waiting somewhat patiently for the rest of us lathering butter on their thick slices of bread.

Sliding into my usual seat, I lift the lid, inhaling the rich, sweet-spicy scent of the soup Mom made.

Autumn is by far my favourite season, and Mom is the queen of seasonal vegetables in all their glory.

I pour water for everyone, then quickly refill the carafe before settling down again when Mom and Dad join us.

We try to eat dinner three or four nights a week together, but it's been so chaotic with everything lately, my sports which start at five in the morning on weekdays, then riding after school, Wes' hockey practices, and a rapidly growing social calendar between our families and friends. More often than not, I've been grabbing a banana, yogurt, or smoothie most nights—too tired to even reheat the leftovers Mom packages for me.

Dad kicks off our dinner routine, and we banter over everything and nothing, in the easy way he always seems to inspire. Mom is quieter than usual this evening, and I know she's worried about Joy, and even though she won't tell me, or show me, Greyson, too.

Listening to Dad and Wes talk about the upcoming Massey Hall concert they're going to, I smile when Dad turns to Theo. "You want to join us, Theo? I have an extra ticket I thought Elle would use, but she'll be at the horse show that night."

I watch Theo carefully, always conscious of how easily he can sometimes be excluded from the family conversations. With his peers, his confidence seems to buffer and balance him, but when you factor in parents like mine, Hud's or Mitch and Genevieve, he can look and act a bit shell-shocked. Like he isn't used to the attention, or the slightly chaotic conversations.

His eyes light up at my dad's offer. "Yeah, if you're sure you don't mind my tagging along. I'd love to."

Knowing its scheduled one night Theo promised to be my date, I make a mental note to make other arrangements. I'll solve that problem later.

"Consider it an official guys' night out then." Dad reaches over and claps Theo's shoulder affectionately, then turns his attention to me.

"So, sweetie, how are your driving lessons going?" Dad's voice is curious, filled with a touch of trepidation as he turns his attention to me.

I look up from the big, hot bite of soup I was about to put in my mouth and pause. Probably good to wait till it cools down, as I see the steam wafting off my spoon.

"They're going fine, I think. Rodney seems nice, he's met me at school for a few lunch lessons, but I'd also like to practice more with you."

I deliberately do not say with Mom, and Dad sees right through me. "Give your mother another chance, honey. She'll do better next time."

I arch my eyebrow and glance over at Mom when she chuckles. "Honestly, Lincoln, I'm just not sure I will. I was so sure she was about to hit that pole, but when I got out to look, we were feet away."

Wes grins at me across the table. "See, Elle? I knew you couldn't be that bad."

We laugh over the shared reminiscing of the story from Mom's perspective, as she'd been trying to adjust to sitting in the passenger seat of her car, where according to her, the perspective is much different.

Theo reaches over to pat my mom's arm in sympathy. "My mom was the same. I guess the perspective's a bit different from the passenger seat. I relied completely on Rodney. He's the neighbour hood guy. I passed first try though, so I'm sure Elle will too."

Wes immediately throws his open hand towards Theo. "You wanna put money on that? I say third time's the charm."

Theo glances over at me and smiles. "I have faith in our girl. I'll stick to first try. You're on kid, ten bucks."

Dad holds his hands up as the good natured bickering continues, "Alright, Elle. I'll take you out this weekend, you can show me what you're learning. But, I'm renting a car for it. Just in case."

I roll my eyes. "What did I do to deserve a family with so little faith in my skills?"

"Don't forget who taught you how to boat, rollerblade, and bike, baby. Floating, and four-or-two-wheeled vehicles have never been kind to you, not to mention the marathon boat lessons."

Theo kicks me playfully under the table, coming to my defence. "Grey never had a problem teaching her, she got it after only one summer."

Mom's eyes twinkle humorously over the rim of her wineglass. "I think there was a little extra motivation to learn from him."

Groaning, I slide down in my chair, prepared for the next wave of teasing.

I'm surprised when it doesn't come though, when Dad shifts gears to focus on Theo and his lacrosse season, and college applications, then Wes, and his hockey.

I breathe a sigh of relief, happy to listen in and settling back into enjoy my soup.

I listen intently as Wes explains he's planning to try for a position as a defenseman, but the competition is tough. Logan, on the other hand, is all about the goalie position.

I feel a strange tug on my heart, as I think of Greyson and Liam, the nearly unbeatable duo in the same positions.

"It's nice of Hud to take such an interest in putting in the extra hours with you boys, don't you think?"

Wes nods, his mouth full of hot soup and crusty bread as he digs into his second bowl. I giggle as his cheeks expand to suck a little cool air into his mouth.

"It's kind of his job now. Coach announced that Hud is going to step up as full captain, to—"

I drop my spoon with a loud rattle, and Wes looks up at me, startled.

"What about Greyson?"

Wes drops his eyes to the butcher block tabletop, studying the knots intently for a moment, then slowly brings them back up to meet mine. "Sorry, Ells. I thought you already knew. I mean, it's only been like four hours since coach made the announcement, but Grey's been missing practices this week, and um, showing up less than ready to hit the ice, so to say."

I close my eyes, blinking back tears. I couldn't picture a better captain than Hudson, but Greyson could lose everything he's every worked for if he doesn't pull it together, if he doesn't have people pushing him, believing in him. The last thing he needs is for Coach, and the team, to give up on him.

Theo squeezes my hand under the table and gives me a reassuring smile. His silent comfort says we can still get Grey back on track, so I choose to believe him.

When I say nothing else on the topic, Dad steers the conversation back to Wes, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze. I know he knows what this could mean for Greyson's college prospects, his hockey prospects, and in general.

The questions slamming through my mind are: Why isn't his mom doing anything? Why isn't Coach? Why isn't some adult stepping in to help him?

Focusing on finishing my dinner, I make a mental plan to call Tess, then Brodie, and I guess I'll be stopping by to talk to Coach after class one day soon.

Feeling energized by my new mission, I work on my plans, and consider how best to execute them. 

- - -

It's been a hectic two weeks helping my parents move, so I haven't been online as much! As always, please vote or comment to let me know if you're enjoying the story so far! 

It's taken me a bit longer to build in the intro to this book, but I'm starting to get into some of the meatier parts of the plot in the next chapters! 

Can't wait to get back to a more regular writing schedule now that things are settling down a bit!

Xx Toria