"Are Erwin and Isa still ignoring each other?"

"..."

"I've heard the other soldiers talking about the tension between them for the past days."

"..."

Upon receiving no replies from the two men sitting across her, Hanji released a loud groan while shrugging her shoulders. They were currently eating breakfast at the mess hall in one of the officers' tables, while other cadets occupied the rest of the space.

It had been days since their Commander had announced the incoming mission to reclaim Wall Maria with the refugees from the fall. Obviously, the declaration shocked the Scouts; leading untrained civilians out into titan territory was a suicide mission. And to think, they were expected to do so in three months. Success was impossible.

News of the argument between their Sergeant Major and Commander concerning the issue had spread around the barracks like wildfire; Isanna didn't want to sacrifice all those people, but Erwin was firm in his decision.

As a result, the fight between their top two superiors caused a heavy tension to linger in their headquarters.

Hanji worriedly frowned. It had been a while since she last saw Isanna—no doubt she was still in Moblit's room tending to a sick Lauren. The brunette had heard from Mike regarding Erwin's order to Isanna to send the little girl to an orphanage, and she had been at a loss of words after hearing it.

"Is Erwin in his man period, or something?" asked Hanji, looking back at Mike and Levi who were silently eating their meals, "he's sending all those innocent people outside, ordered Ren to be sent to an orphanage, and made Isa cry!"

For goodness sake, she thought Erwin couldn't get any more complicated. She never, for the life of her, could picture him arguing with Isanna. For all she knew, the both of them had never seriously fought before. That time in their infiltration in the Lovof mansion wasn't even a fight, it had been just a frustrated confrontation (she never got the details), and they even managed to patch things up really quickly in less than twenty-four hours. But this?

Days had already past, and Erwin and Isanna had still not talked to each other.

"That Shitty eyebrows' decision isn't in the wrong," Levi piped up, catching the attention of the other two, "if he doesn't do this, then a civil war will erupt in Wall Rose. We'll be done for if that happens."

Balling her fists, Hanji frowned at his words but didn't retort for a few seconds. He had a point. At the end of the day, Erwin was their Commander, and they were obligated to follow his decision. And the decision he made—although cruel—was a necessary sacrifice if he were to prioritize the majority of humanity.

As heartless as it sounded, twenty percent of human population needed to be sacrificed for the remaining eighty.

"I guess so, but," Hanji paused with a frustrated sigh as her frown deepened, directing her eyes to her untouched meal, ".. did he have to be such a dick about it?"

Mike wore a tense expression as he eyed his food, his thoughts going back to his two friends and the argument he had witnessed. "The both of them are not wrong."

Both Levi and Hanji turned to the blond as he continued with eyes still on the food on his tray.

"Erwin is looking at the situation in a collective spectrum; he knows his priorities as a Commander, that's why he's making this decision," he paused, eyes narrowing, "while Isanna is taking things in a more individualistic approach. She doesn't want helpless citizens become just part of a collateral number and thinks that no innocent should be sacrificed for the other."

In short, there really was no right or wrong answer in their fight; morally or realistically—it was either one or the other. The world was not nice enough to let them choose both, because they were not living in a fairy tale and everything wasn't all rainbows. Both Erwin and Isanna had their respective legitimate reasons, but the difference between them was that the blond was brave enough to make sacrifices.

Levi placed his spoon down with a light tinkle. "She's naive for thinking she can save everybody. People die; this is a shitty world we live in." With the way they were literally living in a hell where gigantic monsters were out to eat them, he thought Isanna should know better, especially since she was a soldier who had already experienced the cruelty of their world first-hand. 

"Hey," Hanji defended as she lifted a fork and threateningly pointed it at Levi, "I have a fork and I'm not afraid to use it. So don't talk about my girl like that."

"She's not yours."

"She's my best friend." She stuck out a tongue at him, only causing Levi to roll his eyes.

"Your best friend doesn't understand the gravity of our situation."

"I don't care—I'll take her side either way," Hanji scoffed, "you men are such a disappointment."

While the two were bickering back and forth, Mike's thoughts were preoccupied with Isanna and Erwin. There was no right or wrong answer in their fight; he had an inkling the both of them were already aware of this, but he just couldn't understand why Erwin had felt the need to be so harsh to both Isanna and Lauren, going as far as to tell her to abandon her when he above all people knew of the raven's attachment to the girl. It was like he was pushing her buttons deliberately. 

Plus, it wasn't like him to drag a fight, especially a fight with her, for this long. 

The blond glanced around the mess hall and noted the tension even among the soldiers, all shoulders slackened and a brooding silence surrounding the room.  

Gracious, who would've thought a fight between those two would leave such an impact to the rest of them.

•

Isanna gently tucked a snoozing Lauren into her arms with a contemplative frown, studying the girl's features. Her fever had thankfully subsided after a few days, and she was starting to move around more. 

She was currently sitting on the bed in her own room, alone with the quietude. Her soft gaze rested on Lauren's sleeping face as Isanna lifted a hand to push away some dark strands from her forehead. 

"You've become soft. I suppose this is because of Lauren?"

Clenching her jaw, the raven closed her eyes tightly and mentally shoved the memory away into the back of her mind. Erwin had told her to send the girl to an orphanage as soon as possible before their supposed recapture mission three months later, and he had been so cold about it too. 

What happened to you? Isanna mentally asked as she opened her eyes to stare at the toddler in her arms who was sleeping peacefully without a care in the world, without knowing anything.

"Lauren," she whispered, staring down at her with a sad smile, pushing a few of her short strands away so that she could get a clearer look of her face, "when you grow up, I want you.. to promise me something."

Isanna thought about herself, about her life as an orphan, about how she had wished for a family to be with to battle the sense of loneliness that haunted her back then.

"Be happy.. and don't let this world put you down no matter what."

She looked at the small wooden bedside table, feeling her chest clenching when she remembered that the red Salvia that had been given to her back then was left back at their headquarters in Wall Maria; no doubt it had already wilted.

"Forever thine."

Of course I just have to remember that, she sullenly thought.

Isanna teared her eyes from the empty spot of her table. Letting out a loud sigh of resignation, she slowly stood up and made her way out of her quarters. The walk down the corridors was heavy and silent, her steps laggard and dragging as she soon stepped out of the building and into the courtyard of their barracks, where the afternoon sun was raining down on their campus. 

"Isa, where are you going?"

When she turned to the voice, Isanna showed no reaction as she saw Hanji, Levi, and Mike all coming from the direction of the mess hall. As their eyes landed on the girl in her arms, the raven thought to answer the question—an answer that did not spare them the surprise. 

"I'm taking her to an orphanage."

Mike noted the thickness fused in her tone and worriedly frowned at how tired she sounded. He had anticipated for her to put up another argument with Erwin for Lauren. 

"Eh?" Hanji's eyes widened as she stepped forward nearer. "Right now?" 

Isanna nodded with a blank look. "Yeah."

The brunette asked her why she was suddenly in a rush, with her replying that she just thought she should leave the little girl while she was still asleep. 

Isanna didn't tell them she didn't want to spend more time with her if Erwin was just going to separate them anyway; she didn't need any more bitter memories to bring with her. 

Needless to say, the other three were hesitant of her sudden decision. Hanji was actually tearing up while she asked Isanna for one last chance to carry Lauren, while Mike only observed from the side. Levi, on the other hand, wordlessly rounded his heel and stalked away, leaving the rest wondering where he was heading to.

"Does.. Erwin know you're giving her away today?" Mike questioned, hesitating to mention the name to Isanna while Hanji was too busy carrying Lauren to hear them.

He didn't miss the anger in her eyes when she replied, "He doesn't need to know."

Just as Hanji returned Lauren to Isanna, Levi came back from the barracks of their building carrying a familiar object and handed it to the raven without a word but a silent frown on his features.  

When Isanna looked at the thing in his hand, she recognized the pink plushie bear. Levi Junior. 

She suddenly found herself bitterly smiling as she took the stuffed toy from him. "Thanks, Levi. She'll look for this when she wakes up."

He didn't respond and averted his eyes from her, his frown deepening.

"I'll go with you," Mike offered, something Isanna was actually grateful for and didn't decline him.

Hanji was quietly sniffing while Levi was scolding her to suck it up as Isanna and Mike left the barracks.

•

Their walk down the street was quiet save for the busy chatters from civilians all around them. The dusty cobblestoned pavement made crunching sounds as the soles of their boots made contact with it, and Isanna swore her chest was becoming more and more heavy the longer they walked.

Mike was silent by her side, a somber expression on his face as he could feel the moping mood cloaking her.

When they reached the orphanage in the city, which was a nicely-kept warehouse run by a polite lady, Mike thought a walk could never have been shorter than the hike they just took.

For Isanna's sake, he had taken initiative to take care of the papers, taking note of the number of children playing outside on the grassy yard as he signed them. Based on their faces, they seemed to be happy enough.

But still, he knew leaving Lauren like this so suddenly was still so irresponsible of them.

Mike released a mute sigh as he watched the lady carry the sleeping form of Lauren in her arms. She looked nice enough, too. No doubt, she was going to be more responsible than them.

"We'll.. leave her in your care," was all Mike could say while handing the pink plushie to the lady, who politely nodded her head with a kind smile, assuring the blond that she will take good care of Lauren.

With one last look at the little girl, Mike swallowed a lump in his throat and turned around, walking out of the warehouse and heading towards Isanna, who he saw was standing while absent-mindedly staring at the children who were playing on the fields.

Her face was blank and emotionless, dark irises glued at the children; but he knew she was just masking her bitterness.

"Hey," Mike softly called as he approached her, taking her hand and gingerly rubbing it with his thumb, "she's going to be fine here. She's a strong girl; she takes after you."

Bullshit, he mentally added after he said that, brows twitching in a frown. Strong or not, it was still so wrong. Lauren was no older than two years old, and they were leaving her here without a word; although she was still a toddler, she would certainly still feel betrayed when she realized they had left her here. 

..However, they were also soldiers. Their allegiance was anchored to a different cause, and with the recent issues arising, they had no time to look after a child. If Mike had known this was going to happen, he would have had told Isanna not to take Lauren in in the first place to save them the pain.

Isanna still had her dull eyes at the children, their laughter resounding and filling her ears, which only dampened her mood even further. "I was stupid to think I could play family as a soldier."

Her words caused Mike to deepen his frown as he tightened his hold on her hand. "I know you love her, Isanna." We all do, he thought with a pause. "But.. we can't look after her forever—she doesn't belong to a military headquarters, you know that. Erwin needs us to focus. It's harsh, but he's Commander for a reason."

Isanna finally turned to look at him, her eyes glistening. "I know that. But," she paused when her voice shook, "is it so wrong to care?"

She knew where Erwin was getting at. The sacrifice was indeed necessary; she knew there was no way out of this decision. If they were not going to do this, people inside Wall Rose would perish not because of the colossal and armored titan but because they would have eradicated each other. However, she wanted to deny it and look for another alternative—no matter how unrealistically altruistic that sounded of her.

And Lauren. Isanna was aware she could not continue as a soldier and take care of her at the same time. Poor girl was undoubtedly going to feel neglected should that happen, and Isanna didn't want her to feel that way; maybe someone else, or a stable and normal family who was dedicated enough was better off taking her in. Maybe Lauren would be happier and well taken care of in a different place, far from a place like the military, where children should not be in.

That thought didn't make her feel any better, though. 

She lowered her gaze to the slab of cemented path, not wanting for Mike to see the face she was making and feel more miserable.

Mike pressed his lips together at her broken expression, racking his brain to say anything to lift her mood; but when he could not find the correct words to comfort her, he resorted to pulling the girl to his chest in an embrace, wrapping an arm around her shoulder while the other went around her waist, as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

As he silently rubbed soothing circles on her back, Mike found himself becoming more and more disappointed with his Commander.

Damn it. You messed up, Erwin.