In the next week and a half, Isanna finally found herself out of the confines of the clinic, once again relishing in the fact that she can finally stand on her own two feet after nearly a month of constraint. 

In the following weeks, their training regimes had become more rigorous, their head instructor often holding simulation exams spanning into several days which she had informed them would be used as basis for their final marks for graduation.

Isanna released a quick grunt as she whizzed through the back of a fake titan cardboard, slicing its makeshift nape along the way with breakneck speed. Pulling her weight forward, she made a flip whilst in the air before shooting out a hook towards the nearest branch, her body snapping forward. Landing on the branch, she straightened herself and examined the cut she had made.

"Impressive as always, Herrmann," instructor Koch praised on a nearby branch as she surveyed the fake titan whose head was now hanging. "that's your ninth cut in 5 minutes alone, at this rate you won't become titan chow and actually get to live longer." She looked at Isanna with rapt. "You're joining the Scouts, aren't you?" 

"Yes ma'am."

"Have any reason why?"

Isanna was mildly taken aback at the query but answered nevertheless after thinking it through, ".. To protect someone, ma'am."

A lone brow on Gricelda's face lifted at her rather peculiar answer. "Are you referring to Smith?"

For a split moment, Isanna was surprised at how she managed to guessed it and couldn't help a light blush dusting her cheeks. She figured denying it wouldn't get her anywhere. ".. Yes, ma'am."

The instructor hummed at her answer. The reason why she herself was closely supervising Isanna this morning was because the cadet had to catch up to the missed tests during her resting period, although Gricelda soon realized there was no need to be so worried since Isanna's skills hadn't become rusty at all despite her long rest.

"That should be enough for today. Go join your friends."

Isanna gave her instructor a formal salute before whipping down the tree line with her 3DM gear. 

::

"Can you believe we're graduating in less than two months?" Adalaide grinned as she took a bite from her sandwich. Together with Chiara and Isanna, the three friends had decided to spend their break inside the mess hall, with a few of their batchmates filling in the other tables.

Chiara nodded with a drink on her grasp, her other arm laying on the wooden surface. "Yeah. Time flies by fast."

Adalaide hummed in agreement. "And Isa and that eyebrows still haven't gotten together."

Isanna choked on her water, hacking up in a cough at her sudden statement. She balled a fist and thumped her chest, and when the coughing finally subsided, shot a frown at the redhead. "Did you forget already?" She hissed through gritted teeth, warily looking around their table in case of eavesdroppers. "Erwin already likes someone, so drop it."

"So what if he likes someone else?" Adalaide argued back. "It doesn't mean you can't sweep him off his feet. GOD! He makes me frustrated - why is he looking for someone else when you're already sticking to him like a leech?!"

"Ada!" Isanna slapped a hand over her friend's mouth, frantic because of her loud volume. God forbid the girl was going to let the whole world know of her little crush on her best friend. She wasn't going to have any of it and drown in embarrassment and rejection should such news reach Erwin's ears. 

"I kind of agree with Ada," Chiara added. "for the smartest cadet in our batch, he sure is dense when it comes to reading your feelings."

Sputtering with a blush, Isanna threw an exasperated look at the brunette. "Would you guys just calm down? You guys aren't the one who's a heart broken single, I am! And frankly, I already told you that he has no time for that." Erwin was too busy with his personal goals to even care about things like feelings, and Isanna had zero plans on interfering with it. 

"No time, my ass," Chiara scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "then why is he in town, spending his sweet free time with his so-called crush, when we're just less than two months away from graduation?"

Isanna's thoughts paused at Chiara's rebut. It was a local holiday and the instructor had given the rest of the day for them to wind out from the series of training exercises they had been doing the past weeks. Erwin had gone to the town together with Nile, and although they didn't say where they were heading, she knew they were probably off to their favorite bar. 

"Agreed!" Adalaide exclaimed with an agreeing finger pointed at Chiara. "I don't understand the guy. One second he's braving through a heavy storm to look for you, the next, he's out flirting with another woman! The audacity of that eyebrows! He's lost my respect, I never took him as the womanizing type."

"Ada," Isanna pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming in. "Erwin only cares for me as family, as a childhood best friend, it's only natural he treats me the way he does, but he doesn't do it with any other intentions." The girl had to take a pause after the words left her tongue, as if only realizing. Somehow, after voicing it out herself, she couldn't prevent a light, disappointing feeling enveloping her chest; she wasn't sure if she had said that to convince her friends, or to convince herself.

Chiara seemed to have noticed this and furrowed her brows. "And you're okay with that?"

Isanna didn't answer, instead she softly bit her lip and raised her cup back to her lips, chugging down a considerable amount of the water. After gulping the contents, she brought the glass back on the table, the remaining dregs sloshing against the container.

"I've got other, bigger problems to worry about than my petty feelings."

•

At around 4:30 PM, Isanna had decided to head to town to buy some snacks after losing in a game of cards against Chiara and Adalaide. The three of them were planning on spending the night munching on snacks and having a long girl's talk before another series of hard training would rain on them the next day. 

Isanna strolled down the packed cement of the path that snaked along the town. Stores and shops were closed and there were only a few civilians lounging about outside, the only sounds penetrating through the air were the occasional voices from human conversations and the afternoon breeze. With a mulling frown, Isanna worried if she could even find an open shop at this time as she walked past countless stores, their windows and doors locked and no signs of life inside. 

With a halt, Isanna realized she was just a few meters away from Marie's bar. She looked to the direction of where she remembered it was located and had an internal debate if she should go and check on Erwin. In all honesty, she really didn't want to run into him and Marie together. The last time she saw Marie, she had made a complete fool of herself, and she didn't want a repeat of that. 

But a small part of her was yearning to see the blond and see how he was doing. 

After a sigh of defeat, Isanna decided to drop by the bar and thought about using her errand as an excuse. Less than two minutes of walking and she arrived at the bar, taking note of the heavy silence hanging above it, no form of noise coming from the open entrance. 

Are they closed too? Isanna quietly stepped through the doorway and peeked around. The bar was as hollow as an empty barrel of water, with zero customers and no bartender behind the counter.

Isanna thought that maybe Erwin and Nile didn't pay Marie a visit and inwardly sighed of relief at the idea, before scolding herself for her trail of thoughts. Her eyes meekly scanned the bar, from the right towards the left, and she finally froze when her eyes landed on a certain table, the table where she, together with Nile and Erwin had been seated the last time she came here with them. 

For a brief second, she didn't how to react. It was like someone had poured a bucket of cold water and doused her body into a freezing state, the feeling incomparable to her freezing experience about a month ago where she had fallen off a cliff in the forest. If given a chance, Isanna would rather go through the experience again, instead of having to run into a such a scene. 

Subconsciously digging her fingers into her palm, Isanna could only watch with a dry mouth. It was Erwin and Marie, kissing. 

Isanna didn't waste another second. She turned around and bolted away from the entrance of the bar, running as fast as her legs could handle, the wind whipping her face, and her mind blank and numb. 

Erwin and Marie. The scene kept on replaying in her mind, even though she didn't want to. She didn't want to. She didn't want to see that, and she definitely did not want to remember it. Where was Nile? Why was it only the two of them there? Why were they kissing? How did it happen?

"He has no time for that."

Bullshit. Obviously, he had the time. The man was in his late teenage years already and only two months away from enlisting into the Survey Corps, where the prospect of living is a luxury not everyone could have after an expedition; it's not like Isanna could stop him from doing what he wanted. So what if they were kissing? What right did she even have to be upset?

She was just the best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Isanna had no right to stop him from doing whatever he wanted to do, as long as Erwin was safe and happy with his decisions. That was what she agreed on with herself, that no matter what, she'd put Erwin's happiness and wellbeing a priority.

But what about her? 

Isanna was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she ran into someone, shoving the girl down on the rough road, but the sharp impact from her bum did nothing to stop her haywire of thoughts. Stricken, she had her eyes glued on the sandy path below her, strands of dark hair falling over the sides of her face. 

"Isanna?"

A hand had reached out for her arm and gently pulled the girl back up. It took Isanna a few seconds to realize it was Mike, and that the training camp was just right in her direct line of sight, the declining dusk of the afternoon sunlight casting shadows over the line of cabins, the orange hues painting the sky in a whiplash of calming colors; she had ran back to the training grounds.

"What's wrong? Why were you running so fa -" Mike scanned her face with a concerned gaze, lifting a hand to wipe something wet on her cheeks. "I'm sorry, were you hurt?"

Isanna couldn't see her own condition, but she was sure as hell she looked helplessly pathetic. But did she have to care? It was just Mike, anyway, and he wasn't one to unnecessarily babble to the others. Just once in her training years, Isanna figured it wouldn't hurt to cry and let out some of those frustrated, hidden feelings. 

She had firmly told herself to support Erwin in whatever decision he'd make, as long as it wouldn't harm him. She was contented with that thought. She wanted to be contented. Hell, Isanna desperately wished for her feelings to poof into extinction. So that she could support Erwin. Be happy for him. Watch as he get his happy life with another woman.

"And you're okay with that?"

No. She wasn't okay with it.