Ya, enjoy! A little note at the end, plz read it! So many reeaaadddsss!!!!!!

 Alex's POV

I can't help but wonder, why do I have to suffer so much, for someone who doesn't love me like he should? I mean, am I really that useless to him? 

Am I just another ordinary slave? 

Someone who has sëx with others, just as high as the selling price?'

Those thoughts waltz in my head as I push Nathaniel to ride faster, I want to forget. Every single word, every single touch, every kiss, every single dirty hand that has touched me. Every disgusting breath that has fanned across my face. Every single position and direction that I have been forced into.

I have to stop, but n-not here. 

I and Nathaniel ride to my safe haven, my sparkling and ever blue river. I struggle to compose myself and I fall of him...

And straight into the river.

My tears of sorrow mix with the sweet tasting water, almost flavoring it. I slump into the river and float, following its current, not quite getting to the edge though.

I swim a while, after discarding some articles of clothing from my body, but with difficulty. I clear my mind and bare my soul, just swimming and watching little blue-orange swim around. Funny how something like this could upset me, I mean, I've been doing this for a while now...

And I'm still not used to it! But I remember my first time like it was yesterday...

Flashback...

"Mama! Papa! Ussie?! " My miniature self cries. My parents were arguing with a man in their living room and I came to ask mama for food because I was hungry. I looked at the man and he was really big, with a long beard and dirty blond hair, I greeted him before turning to my mama, because she always told me to greet their guests whenever anyone came there. But little did I know that it would prove to be a fatal mistake, because after that mama stood up, took me to the kitchen, gave me food and told me to stay in there.

Of course me being the little kid I was, I needed to pee, so I quickly dashed to the bathroom outside and came back to meet the same man, in the living room, now in the kitchen. He smiled at me kindly but I didn't trust that smile. It looked like the kind of smile that someone about to back stab you would give. Sickly sweet. Devious. Evil. Sadistic. I turned to run away when I was scooped onto someone's back and carried out the door screaming and crying.

Papa was holding mama back, with tears streaming down his face. Mama was hysterical, I never saw her like that before, it was terrifying. I was 9 at the time. The big man threw me in the back of his big truck and drove away, with me kicking and screaming my little lungs out.

When we got to a rundown and greenish looking place, he took me out, and locked me in  a room, despite all my protests and questions. I stayed there and eventually wandered around the room, looking at all the weird looking things on the wall. Hand cuffs, I knew, because mama gave me plastic ones at home. 

A big thingy that looked like my willy but it didn't fit in one of my hand. I looked for a name, and found one, Dildo... What the heck is that? 

I looked at all the other names, flogger, whip, leather cuffs, paddles, clamps and other weird looking things. I ran back as soon as the door opened and another man walked in, he was chubby and very ugly. He had a beard and he kept on scratching his lower region every 5 seconds.

He picked me up and forced me on the bed. He put the cuffs on me and proceeded to tear my clothes of me, with me crying and fighting against the cuffs pathetically. I never felt more helpless in my whole life. 

He used so many of those things by the wall on me. So harshly, so much pain. The only thing I felt that night was pain. That night I lost many things,

My virginity

My innocence

My dignity

My self respect

and most of all My Childhood.

The only things I remember after word was my dealer telling me...

"Its business kid. The faster you get used to it, the better it becomes."

Flashback over.

He was right, and wrong.

It became easier to shut down my mind and heart after each time, but it became harder to bear the increasing guilt that came with it. 

The horrible words that those men uttered in my ear, thinking they were sexy, didn't help at all, made it worse instead. 

Suddenly, arms were in front of me, dragging me to the side of the river where Nathaniel was. I opened my eyes, only realizing now that I closed my eyes, stopped breathing and sunk a little into the river, appearing to have drowned.

I took in a hunk size of air and turned around to my supposed savior, ready to inform him of the false alarm, when my breath suddenly left my body.

"Of all the rotten luck!"

Hi my dear readers! Who do you think saved Alex?

482 reads!!! I cant believe it!

Thank you all for this!!! It means the world to me knowing that you just read my book!

Please vote and maybe comment

I love you!

Ami B)