beneath this smile, there are lies.

hidden within, its depths unknown.

i've never been the one to tell my each and every problem to someone.

i tend to isolate and chains tie around my throat, leaving me nothing but silence.

when i am alone, i have the strong urge to scream and fall to my knees and break everything in sight.

but that only ends up hurting me even worse.

sometimes i feel i should just disappear.

sometimes i just want to be alone, but the loneliness is too overbearing.

but socializing too, is an exhaustion.

smiling while your eyes are red as blood and purple shadows lurk underneath your eyes is not pleasant.

nor the comfort of sleep, when you wake every hour or so, crying to yourself.

your sleepless mind asks all these questions of why?

the world is all grey to me.

im vulnerable to the slightest things, and my eyes always feel on the verge of
crying.

some people are scared of falling, others drowning or suffocating but i am afraid of living like this forever.

im always shaking,
always cold,
always tired,
always hurt,
& always broken.

and i am afraid...that this will never go away.

i am afraid that i will only see the grey in a world of color.

a/n: the ocean is metaphoric if you didn't catch that. pictures aren't mine. sorry i haven't been posting in awhile. i haven't been in any motivation to do really..anything lately. i apologize. hope you liked this regardless. it was inspired by a dream i had actually. thankyou to everyone whos read this book! <3