"So what film shall we see?"

It was Saturday night. We were young, were broke, we were bored. Going out would have blown our household budget for the week, so our choices were limited. There was only one thing for it.

"A night in?"

"Pizza?"

"Video?"

We split into two groups. Some of us went to the local pizzeria to see what could be wheedled out of the proprietor. The rest of us headed for the local video library to see what was left on the shelves.

The video library had taken over the premises of what had once been a pharmacy. The ghosts of old adverts still haunted the windows. Where customers had once queued for their linctus and pile cream was lined with shelves full of cassette boxes. Gaudily-coloured cases promised epic adventures, high fantasy, mystery and action - and cost more than we had.

Just behind these shelves were the rows of B-movies: second-rate films, but movies that had at least seen a cinema release. But, it was Saturday night and the shelves had already been picked clean and the tapes rented out.

This left the back of the shop, in what had once been the dispensary. Here were the films of last resort; movies that had been released direct to video. This was the place for us - impoverished students, desperate for entertainment.

"So what film shall we see?"

We hunted through the shelves, looking for something that we could bring back to our digs.

"Seen. Seen. Seen. Seen."

"This one?"

"No. Looks like there's going to be too much gore. How about a chop-socky flick?"

"We had one last time. Science fiction?"

"Only if hasn't been badly dubbed."

"How about this one?"

We grabbed the box and headed for the counter. Then, our mission successful, we made our way along dark streets, past the hospital wall and down the road to the house we shared. Our flatmates had already come back with the pizza. A 20" cheese and tomato with garlic bread had been set out on the coffee table, the greasy box top opened to let it cool.

"Did you get a movie?"

"Sure did."

"Let's get it on!"

We flopped onto the sofa, sprawled on the floor, waiting for the movie to start. But -

"Shit!"

"What?"

"It's a Betamax!"