I flipped through the pages,

taking in every word as scripture.

This is how my body will grow,

this is how to get a boy to like me,

this is who I'm supposed to turn into.

I was just a little girl.

I couldn't have told you

my favorite color, I still don't know

what I want to be when I grow up.

I just turned another page.

And I knew.

I had more fingers on my hands

than trips around the sun,

but even so young and so naive

my instincts were stronger

than fiberglass.

Something was wrong.

But I didn't look like those pictures.

I didn't hate myself.

I didn't do it on purpose.

None of the words fit

to what I was feeling

but they were calling to me.

Screaming.

Juliana, you are us.

Juliana, you don't have to eat that.

Juliana, something is wrong.

I was so young.

How did I know so young?

How did I only find out today?

Little Juliana,

what else did you know?