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a thankful apology

This is an apology.


No, not a notes app apology.

You deserve more. This apology

is a thank you.


So thank you.

For being the people I needed, right before

I needed you. Thank you, for showing me

to the stars. Thank you, for teaching me

how to feel.


You arrived as a black wave, a dark abyss

coating the horrors yet unknown to me.

You held me near, a guidebook of pages.

I focused on you, blind to the evils surrounding me.


I loved you. I love you. I thank you.


The horrors haven't left me.

I don't think they ever will.

A mask will always hide my face,

I will always come running back to you,

I will always think of you when I'm alone.


But these days are brighter than when we met.

These days I look towards

the blue sky, not a dark wave.


These days I focus on joy.


These days, I let my love for you,

be a background, not my home.


So, to you,

I apologize, and I thank you.

For everything.

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