I know it has been a little while, but I have a rant for you. It also has some personal information, so you will learn more about me in the process. I supposedly have a thing called ciklike (pronounces sicklike) vomiting syndrome. If you know about migraines then I get those, but in my stomach. The cause? Strong emotions, anxity both positive and negative, and stomach acid. But because of this I don't feel many emotions. It all started in 6th grade. First emotions gone, happiness and the feeling of being loved. The last time that I have felt loved by someone so far back that I don't even remember it. Next, sadness. Don't get me wrong, I still feel joy, sadness and anger, but usually it is not by humans. It is all done by animals now. After sadness whent anger and after anger whent everything else. Around a year ago I was at a place called EFY. For those who don't know what that was it was basically a camp on a university campus for members of the church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. We were watching an interpretation of the ceucifacation of Christ. Everyone was sad and I really wasn't. Feeling kind of weird not being sad In pretend to be angry. Looking back on that memory, it was so stupid, no one cared what I thought and no one still cares what I think so why bother trying. Why feel emotions when all they bring you is pain? Back in 8th grade my mom told me that I had depression. Looking back I am not sure if I did or not, but if I did I did a heck of a job covering it up, because what my mom had discovered that I had been feeling, I had been feeling those feelings since 6th grade. That's three whole years! Now I just feel nothing. I wanna die, but I am too stubborn to commit to the idea. So as to not worry you any further, I don't feel feelings for you, or for me. I only feel feelings for your dog, my dog, your cat, and any other animal friends that I meet through out this journey called life.
~H.M.Bird