I feel as if though I am trapped.

I'm trapped in this cycle of endless doubt and love and fear.

I'm trapped in this endless guilt.

I wish to do what I want to do and what I say I'll do, but I feel this burden.

The burden that you are always watching me and falling apart.

The burden that makes me feel guilty for even calling it what it is.

Burden: a load, especially a heavy one.

A load that is on my shoulders and in my mind.

The stress of you.

The stress of both.

What if my fear of doing what I want is because of you?

You'll say something about it and pull it all in this ball of wadded papers, glued together with pain from the both of us.

So, I'm trapped.

I'm trapped and stuck in those wadded papers, glued down with pain.

I'm trapped and can't find my freedom without feeling the guilt.

This cage is only trying to help, but I want out of it, I'll come back someday, but just let me go.

I want to bend and break my way out, but it'll stay that way until fixed later on.

I don't want that. I don't want to hurt it.

So, for now, here I sit in this cage, trapped and reaching for the outside to free me.