Hello. How are you?
Is that question simple to you.
"Good." You may answer.
But is that really what you want to say, maybe. Or maybe you're just tired. Tired of that same question and  because it's so much easier to lie and say you're doing fine... when really you know you're running out of time.

Our minds turn with gears, but you think there's something in your ears because all you can hear is drowned out words. You look down at that page and can't read the words because they seem to be blurred... because water is drowning in your mind and pouring out where it can.

And you can't hold the dam because nobody ever lent a hand... or you just didn't ask. It was too much effort to go out of you way to ask someone for help. You thought you were too much of a bother to put that stress upon someone to ask for a life boat in the cold, deep waters.

Because you're swimming just fine, or so you thought, but now you're struggling. You say you're fine because you've fought it before and it will simply go away, but what if this time it's the day where all of what people do or say clog that gear and stops all feeling in your body.

Now you're drowning, and you think it's too much of a bother to ask for help.

The next month...

You realized you were fine and called yourself a dramatic, emotional teenager because that's what everyone calls you. Obviously it was the most clear explanation. "You're just a kid who has no reason to feel that way."

Hello. How are you?
"Fine." Is what you say now.
But are you really fine?
All you say doesn't matter because people are so sexist and will call you a pessimist. You tell yourself it's no matter of their words, but you know that words will hurt you.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words are like rocks chained to my feet in a cold, deep body of water. Maybe it's not the words maybe it's the curse. The curse of your brain making it so much worse.

But you don't ask for help because you're too much of a bother to ask for a key to unlock the chains at your feet.

The next month.

silence. how are you?
Nothing. Not a word. You're hanging you should say. You're drowning, you should say. You need help, you should say. But you're too much of a bother so all you'll do is stay.

You walk in that day. The water pouring and caving all at once, all because you waited for months. You didn't speak because you were too much of a bother to open you mouth. No one would listen, no one would know, no one would understand. Because they are all on land.

Your mind begins to scream. It screams all the horrible things that were portrayed all because you thought it would not have stayed. So now look at the mess you've made, look at the mess. It's all your fault. All of it.

silence. How are you?
A lifeboat arrives and someone pulls you out of the Icy water. And they look at you. They hold you're shivering body close and hush you and tell you all the wonderful things in life.. that is you.

It matters not of what those who mind say, it matters much of what those who do not say.

you were never a bother. you were never a bother. you were never a bother. you aren't alone. and you can love yourself just as much as you have those who do.

hello. how are you?

--

Hey guys this I need feedback on. I want to read something for my class as a mini project and it's supposed to be slam poetry. So, is this too deep, or deep enough, or does it need more? This is kind of a rough draft so feedback is appreciated. <3 thank you so much for your guys' support btw like the reads on this... HOW AND WHYYY I cry ;-;

Thx<3333

~sydanny ooooh I'm clever nOt