I had no doubt my eyes were red and puffy.

There was a pack of kleenex in my carrier bag because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to survive on that plane without breaking down. I had barely managed to drive without shedding tears.

They had probably already said their vows, laughing at how delusional I had been. Jess was probably already Mrs Fraid, and Elliot was probably officially married. In love. With a wife. Who wasn't me.

I choked on sobs that threatened to rise, but no matter how many times I told myself not to think of Elliot, I ended up thinking of him. It was pathetic of me to even hope that maybe he would choose me, and even though I saw this coming, it still hurt. My biggest mistake hadn't been falling for him, it had been thinking that maybe, just maybe, he had fallen for me too, and even though he was never mine, losing him still broke my heart.

Once my suitcases were all wrapped up in plastic wrap, I joined the queue to collect my ticket while I waited for my flight to be ready. I was running away from everything I knew, everything I was familiar with, but there was nothing for me here anymore. My friends were gone, Elliot had left me, and I didn't want to burden the Ma's by staying. I knew they would only worry about me, and I didn't need that. I just needed a change. I needed to start over. I knew I wouldn't find friends like Serena, Ally and Faizah, and I wouldn't find a man like Elliot, but I would find something. There had to be something for me. And even though I had never been to the UK, I would settle in eventually.

I had spoken to my boss and explained the reason for my absence. I had already been replaced, but he had managed to pull some strings and recommended me to an organisation in the UK who were looking for personal assistants. So that was where I was going, to the UK.

I reached the front of the line and approached the desk to check in. They weighed my bags and everything before allowing me to go through the security check. Despite myself, I found myself looking around as I stood in the queue. I knew exactly what—who—I was looking for but didn't allow myself to admit it. I had already been rejected so why was there still a speck of hope in my chest? He didn't even know where I was so why did I find myself constantly letting people in front of me to buy myself time? He wasn't looking for me so why was I looking for him?

I found myself at the very back of the line, with no one to insist to go ahead of me. And once I made it to the front of the line, I felt a deep, dark feeling of despair. This was it. This was really it. I was leaving.

I went through the security check, removing my things one by one as slowly as I could, but I could only go so slow. I was permitted to continue and went to wait near my boarding gates. I adjusted the little bag slung on my back which was full of tissue and chocolate, and gave Jeffrey a tight squeeze before locating my boarding gates, but before I could even take a seat, my flight number was announced and people started going through to the plane.

I didn't.

I sat still and waited. I waited until the last call for my flight was announced on the speakers. And eventually, it was.

"Last call for flights 1540, 1589, and 1567. Please make your way to the boarding gates and board your plane."

I dejectedly got up then and cast one last look over my shoulder before making my way to the plane.

"Goodbye Elliot," I whispered, a sick burning feeling growing behind my eyes.