The tension was palpable.

"The beach?" Jess registered with quiet fury. "You've known her since the trip? The one we were meant to go to together? You've known her for that long?"

"Jess—" Elliot tried to calm her.

"I want her gone!" Jess screamed, literally freaking out. "I want her out of your house and I want her gone!"

"Jess—"

"You don't love her, do you?" She asked him suddenly. "You've never told me you loved me. You always just smiled when I told you how much I loved you. Is that because you love her?"

"Jess..."

"Tell me you don't. Tell me I'm only being paranoid. That I only imagined it when it seemed like you cared about her more than me. That I was only irrationally anxious when you pulled away from me whenever she was around. Tell me it's not true!"

Elliot blinked and his mouth opened, but he didn't say anything.

"Tell me!" Jess demanded.

Elliot took a deep breath then, and the thought of him saying those words hurt me a lot more than I wanted it to. The fear sobered me up enough for me to get to my feet and run, past the crowds and into the restaurant. There was nowhere to hide inside so I ran out the front doors and went around the back of the building, but just when I thought I had escaped everyone, a hand suddenly wrapped around my wrist and spun me around.

I came face to face with Elliot.

He opened his mouth to speak but then stopped as his gaze slowly lowered, something on his face telling me he hadn't realised I was in a dress until now. I felt myself heat up as Elliot took in my outfit. Now wasn't the time to get butterflies, but I couldn't help but notice the way he looked at me. He had never looked at Jess like that before even though she always wore fancier and sexier dresses than the one I had on.

It was the things like this that sparked that darn hope in my chest.

Elliot's lips slowly quirked up at the sight of my sneakers before his gaze settled on my face again. But he didn't say anything. It was as if he had forgotten what it was he wanted to say. He only looked at me, again in that way he had never looked at Jess before. In that way that made me assume he felt something for me. In that way that made me think that maybe Jess wasn't paranoid after all, just observant.

"Say it," I found myself saying.

"What?"

"Tell me you don't care about me."

"Zara..."

"Tell me, Elliot," I demanded.

"I'm not going to do that," he said calmly.

"Tell me you don't care about me so I can leave!"

"I can't do that, Zara!"

"Why not!"

"Because I do care about you!" He blurted and then immediately cursed, releasing my wrist and covering his face with his hands, breathing heavily. "I do care about you, Zara. A lot," he added softly, almost as if it pained him to admit but he couldn't help himself. "I don't want you to leave."

My heart pounded, and I was pretty sure his did too. He took a step away from me as if not trusting himself not to step toward me and, I don't know, kiss me. But that was what I wanted. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to pin me against the wall, his body flush against mine, and really kiss me. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, wanted to share his breath and run my hands through his short, curly hair. I wanted to feel his hands on me, wanted to put my hands on him. I wanted all of that, all of him. I wanted to be a part of his life and maybe even his family, for real. I wanted to love him with no worries and no limits. But I couldn't do any of that. Because he wasn't mine. And I wasn't his.

"So you want me to stay?" I asked softly, willing myself not to break. "You want me to stay while you marry someone else?"

He cursed again and then breathed, "I'm sorry, Zara. I wasn't meant to... I shouldn't have said that."

"Because it's not true? You don't care about me?"

"Because there's nothing I can do about it."

I felt daring all of a sudden and didn't falter my gaze when I asked, "And why not?"

"Because I'm engaged to Jess" he sighed. "And my wedding is tomorrow."

I nodded slowly, my heart shattering into a million pieces, but despite that, I wasn't done. I felt like Elliot was lying to himself. He looked conflicted, like really conflicted, and that only made me more upset. How could he get married to someone he wasn't 100% sure about?

I just wanted him to be sure. To tell me to leave so I could leave. The pain he was causing me to feel right now just wasn't it, but the pain he might cause himself to feel wouldn't be any better. And I hated that even now, I still cared about him.

"But do you love her?" I asked, and Elliot's brows rose in surprise. "Well, do you?"

"Why are you asking me that?"

"Because it looks like you're unsure."

He swallowed but said softly, "Yes, I do."

I shut my eyes as I felt my heart drop, but I took a deep breath before I met his gaze again and whispered, "are you lying?"

Elliot clenched his jaw and looked away as he said, "no."

"Then why are you here?" I asked, and his eyes met mine again. "If you love her, then what are you doing out here with me? Why did you follow me? Why did you come here only when she mentioned my name? Why do you always look at me the way you do? And why do you make me feel like maybe, just maybe, you feel for me the same way I feel for you?"

Elliot's chest was visibly rising and falling, and I clenched my fists to stop myself from placing my hands on him, from feeling the beat of his heart against his chest.

"Why is it that for all the 23 years I've been alive, you're the first person I don't want to run away from? But I guess this is just my luck," I laughed humourlessly. "The universe thinks it's really funny, punishing my pickiness by making me fall in love with an engaged man."

Something in Elliot's eyes flickered and his lips parted. And I didn't miss the way his gaze flickered down to my lips. And lingered.

I hadn't meant to admit that I loved him. But I did. I loved him. I loved him so much that it hurt. I loved him so much that I wanted nothing more than to be the woman he was engaged to. The woman he was going to marry. The woman he loved. And I hated it, I hated that I loved him.

"And what's worse, I fell for an engaged man who doesn't know what he wants."

Elliot met my eyes again, "I know what I want."

"No, you don't."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because I know for a fact that you want me," I dared to say. I actually dared to say that. It was a half-truth, I was only partially sure that he wanted me. It wasn't a fact, it was more of a hopeful assumption. But he didn't need to know that. "And yet you're still with Jess."

Elliot looked away, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't love her, Elliot!"

"So what, I love you?"

"I don't know, do you!"

Elliot's mouth opened but no words escaped his lips.

"See?" I pointed out. "If you didn't, you would have denied it. You don't know what you want, Elliot. And because you're so indecisive and afraid you're going to end up throwing your life away! You might not choose me but at least choose yourself because marriage is for life, and you're about to bind yourself with someone you don't love," I sighed, exasperated. "You're such a coward, you know that?"

"It's not that easy, Zara!" he seethed.

"You think I don't know that!" I raged, and I had never spoken to anyone like that before. Never gotten so worked up and upset over someone else. Did I care about him that much?

"I can't imagine what you're feeling," I said, slightly softer this time. "But I know the only reason you're still with her isn't because you love her, but because you're afraid of what she'll do if you break up with her." That could be the only explanation, because like Harley had said, Elliot might be in love with Jess like he claimed, but he sure as heck wasn't in love with her, that much was evident.

"Last time she went through a breakup you told me that her parents had been afraid for her life, so you're afraid that leaving her will make her suicidal, right?" I asked, and even though Elliot didn't answer I saw the answer on his face. "But what about your life? You don't want to get married, I can tell, so why go through with it? Why in the world are you about to get married to someone you're not sure about? What if you end up regretting your choices? There'll be no turning back once you say 'I do.'"

"I won't regret my decision." Elliot took a step forward and looked me dead in the eyes, "This is my choice, Zara."

I pinched my lips together. Elliot's raged breaths collided with mine and when I was convinced I could no longer hold back my tears I looked down and took a step back.

"So you choose her," I whispered, keeping my head low. "Of course, you're choosing her, she's your fiancé and I'm just... me."

Good. This was good. That was all I wanted to hear, so I could leave now. I got my clarity and I got my feelings out and Elliot made his decision. He didn't love me, he probably barely even cared about me. And since he was choosing Jess, he cared about her more. Maybe he did love her and I was the one being paranoid. I was stupid for believing we could have become anything. But was there really nothing he felt for me? And was I really that easy to just let go? My birth parents had done it, my adoptive parents had done it, and now Elliot was doing it. He was letting me go.

"Zara," Elliot's voice was soft, but I wasn't going to give him a chance to say anything else.

"Don't worry, I'm used to being left behind so I'll be fine," I said fast, forcing a smile that didn't feel right on my face. "But then again, why would you worry? You don't care about me."

"Zara..." he lifted a hand, almost as if he wanted to take mine, but I stepped back.

I cursed then laughed. It was the saddest laugh that had ever left my lips. "Sorry, I'm realising I might be guilt-tripping you, which isn't what I want to do, I swear. I just..." I shook my head, needing to stop talking and leave.

"Thanks for everything, Elliot," I said, and I meant it. "I don't even know what I wanted from you," my chuckle was void of humour, almost wet from the emotions welling up inside of me. "Enjoy your wedding," I looked up again, "with the woman you love."

Maybe that was an unnecessary addition. And maybe it came out sounding spiteful. But maybe, just maybe, I didn't care. Or maybe I did because, like the idiot I was, I quickly apologised.

It was time to say goodbye to him now, and that was exactly what I did. I said goodbye before walking away.

Elliot looked like he wanted to stop me, to grab my wrist and hold me back, and I wished he had, but all he did was ask, "Do you really want to leave?"

I stopped then, spinning on my heels with a startling speed. "Of course not! But I can't stay because you're with Jess!" I shouted. "You're with her, not me. No matter how much I wish that you were with me I can't change the fact that you're with her. Only you can," I said softly.

"I just..." he sighed. "I can't do that to her."

"So you can do that to me?" I asked, wishing I could clench my fists further to stop myself from trembling. Why, why, why did this hurt so much? "You're choosing to hurt me rather than her." I tried to hold the tears back. I tried and tried and tried but they still poured out of me like a wave. It hurt so much but this time I couldn't run into Elliot's arms for comfort like I had when I was in pain. This time I had to get through it on my own.

"You know what's sad?" I asked him before answering the question myself. "It's that I don't think I'll ever forget you. Isn't that just such a sad and pitiful thing? They say the hardest to forget are the ones who were never yours to begin with. I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but I did, and you didn't mean to hurt me, but you did." My voice faltered and I took a deep breath before finishing, "I guess this is where our story ends. Goodbye, Elliot."

And with that, I left.