"Wait, pause," Bridget cut me off, processing my words. She was one of the closest friends I had—excluding Harley, of course—but unlike with Bridget, I couldn't necessarily tell Harley that I had fallen for her brother like the idiot I was. "You what?!"

"Quiet," I shushed her. "You don't have to be so loud."

Bridget made a show of looking around. We were closing, wiping the tables down, so there was no one but us in the café, but still.

"I'm trying to understand this without fainting from shock," she said. "You have feelings for your cousin?"

"He's not my cousin, remember?"

"Oh yeah, right. You have feelings for Elliot?" She amended.

"I think so."

"No, there's no thinking so. You do," she told me. "If everything you told me is true then you've fallen hard for the dude. But crap Zara!" She suddenly gasped, "He's engaged."

"I know."

"And his wedding is on Sunday?"

"Correct."

"This Sunday."

"Yep."

"And it's Friday today."

"I am aware of that," I sighed.

"So the wedding is...like... two days away," Bridget calculated. "Why didn't you tell me before?!"

"Because I tried to ignore and deny the feelings but I couldn't do that anymore."

"So what are you going to do!"

"I don't know."

She looked behind her cautiously—even though we were the only ones in here—and leaned forward, "do you want to be his mistress or something?"

"Gosh, no!" I exclaimed. "Bridget, be serious."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she dismissed, and at that moment she reminded me a lot of Serena that it hurt. "But seriously, are you going to go to the wedding?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Maybe?"

She gasped again, "Are you going to object?"

"Object what?"

"You know, when the priest says their priestly stuff then asks if anyone is against the marriage are you going to raise your hand and confess your feelings?" She asked. "Oh please do. That would make the wedding so much fun."

"I'm not going to do that, Bridget."

"So you're going to forever hold your Peace?"

"Probably."

"Oh, Zara," she pouted. "Don't do that, it'll only hurt you. If you're not planning on making your feelings known at the wedding then do it before. You'll regret it if you don't let it out."

"What's the point of letting it out?" I asked. "It's not going to change anything."

"Closure," Bridget said simply. "You'll need the closure."

Just then, the bell above the door jingled, signalling a customer entering. But this was no customer, it was Elliot. Bridget gave me a knowing glance.

"Hey Bridget," Elliot greeted her, but he had only glanced at her before his eyes found mine and he smiled.

For the love of sanity, this boy had no idea what he was doing to me.

"Hey, Elliot. How's your life?" she asked, glancing at me again.

"Um, it's good. Yours?" He asked back out of politeness.

"Great. Just great."

He nodded then looked at me again. "You ready?"

"Give me a sec," I said before I went to the back to grab my stuff. Bridget followed after me.

"Should I tell him how you feel?" She offered.

"No!" I whisper shouted. "Don't you dare."

"You better get your feelings off your chest," she told me.

"I did, by telling you."

"It's not the same," she said. "But seriously, Zara, how the heck can you keep your feelings hidden when you live in the same house as that hottie?"

"Oh my gosh, Bridget."

"I mean, I've always known he was cute, but now that I've really looked at him, I can see that he's actually really hot," she told me. "And you've cried in those arms? My heart would have given out already."

I laughed at that, "I'm leaving now."

"See you Monday?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"What do you mean maybe?"

"I mean, I don't know if I'll still be here."

"Don't you dare think of running away."

"I already have," I told her. "Multiple times, and I honestly don't know why I haven't left yet. I honestly don't know why I'm hoping anymore at this point," I sighed and then left.

Elliot followed after me and just when we reached the car he tossed the car keys to me. I eyed them for a good five seconds before I looked up at him. "What are you doing?"

"Letting you drive," he said simply like that sentence made so much sense. "You do know how to drive, don't you?"

I didn't answer. I only blinked at him. And he blinked back at me.

"Are you mad?" I asked, chuckling as I tossed the keys to him, but he only tossed them back to me. "Okay, I guess you are."

"You've gotten better at being a car passenger. You don't scream and threaten to jump out of the car anymore," he said, a slight smile on those perfect, full lips of his. "So now, I want you to drive."

"I would rather walk," I tossed the keys back to him.

He snorted, "do you know how long that will take you?"

"I'll have you know that I've walked for an hour straight from one destination to the next because I was too afraid to call a taxi," I said proudly. "I think I can handle walking home just fine."

Elliot furrowed his brows, "what? When was this?"

"When I went back to my city," I told him.

"Zara," he said, and it looked like he was feigning concern. "You know how unfit you are, you could have fainted."

A laugh burst out of me, and it was so unexpected that it startled me. "You're so rude," I shot daggers in Elliot's direction, and he only smiled, throwing the keys to me.

"Drive, Zara," he said, making his way to the car and hopping into the passenger's seat.

Reluctantly, I entered the car, taking the driver's seat.

"I don't want to do this," I mumbled.

"You got it, Zara," Elliot encouraged me.

"Why do you want me to drive?" I groaned and looked at him. "I'm scared."

He blinked, slightly taken aback by my confession. He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "I'm right here though."

"But why oh why do you want me to drive?"

"Because I want you to do it when you're with me," he told me. "I want to be the one who helps you face your fears. That's why."

My heart pitter-pattered. Yes, it pitter-pattered.

I groaned, but Elliot only said, "you got this. I believe in you."

I groaned again but found myself buckling up my seatbelt before inserting the key into the ignition and starting the car. My breath caught in my throat when the car came to life and I shut my eyes tight as memories of the crash swarmed me. The collision and the way it threw me into the air and—

"Hey," Elliot's hand dropped to my knee. "You got this."

"Aren't you afraid I'm going to crash?" I asked, my eyes still shut tight.

"No," he said, and something about his voice had me opening my eyes and looking at him. "I trust you," he stated with so much surety and affection. "Do you trust me?"

I didn't hesitate before I nodded. Of course, I trusted him. I trusted him with all that I had and all that I was and I sometimes wondered just how much I would do for him.

He smiled and gave my knee a little squeeze before saying, "Then trust me when I say that you can trust in yourself."

I swallowed then, everything in me going into overdrive. How could he be so perfect? Why was it that he always managed to do and say the right things?

I found myself adjusting the seat before I moved my hand to the handbrake and pulled it up before putting the car into Drive.

Then trust me when I say that you can trust in yourself.

I didn't even know why I was doing this. It was the last thing I wanted to do, and I knew that if I told Elliot I really didn't want to he would let it go, at least for now, so why did I move forward and onto the road? Why did I press the gas as I slowly drove Elliot's car back home? And why was Elliot's hand on my knee such an encouraging gesture?

I hadn't driven since before the trip to the beach and then I proceeded to lose my memory, but now that I was on the road, it was as if no time had passed at all. I wasn't panicking because Eliot was right beside me, and I was still such a natural.

"Why are you swerving the wheel from side to side like that?" Elliot asked. "Just drive straight."

"I am."

"It feels like you're going to swerve off the road."

"Well, I'm not."

He let out an unsure chuckle, "I beg to differ."

I turned on the blinkers before I turned. Elliot gripped his seatbelt, looking left and right frantically.

"Oh my gosh, you're so dramatic," I gasped, amused. "You're the one who told me to drive."

"I can't help it."

"Quit acting like I'm a beginner."

Elliot suddenly grinned and I knew he had a witty remark in mind. "No offence, but even Harley drives better than this."

I reached to the side and pinched his thigh.

"Ow!" He complained, but he was laughing. "Both hands on the steering wheel."

I pinched him again before placing my hand back on the steering wheel.

"That was unnecessary," he narrowed his eyes at me, rubbing the spot I'd pinched.

I only offered him a smile in response. He snickered but stopped clutching the door like he was about to jump out and leaned back against his seat, resting his arms behind his head, completely relaxed.

"You were faking the entire time?" I questioned.

"Of course," he grinned. "If I didn't trust you enough to get us home safely I wouldn't have given you the keys. Plus, I'm in desperate need of a nap."

And with that, he shut his eyes.

"You know what, I think I'll take a nap as well," I considered.

He sat up and looked at me then. "You think you're funny, don't you?"

I glanced at him, a grin playing on my lips, "Who said I was joking?"

Elliot snickered and leaned back against the seat again. "I'm proud of you," he suddenly said before shutting his eyes. "For facing your fear, I'm proud of you."

****

We got home in one piece, and now I really did want to take a nap.

We entered the house and I planned to go straight to my room when Jess—dressed in a too-fancy off-shoulder red dress with a flared skirt bottom—suddenly appeared, greeting me with a hug and Elliot with a kiss. I looked away during the latter and turned to leave but Jess called my name before I reached the first step.

"Zara, I've got something for you," she said and I looked back to see her taking something out of her purse. An invitation. "For my bridal shower. You should come since we'll be family soon and all."

Right, she still thought I was Elliot's cousin. But another thing about the invitation caught my attention. "Bridal shower?"

"I thought you said you didn't want one of those," Elliot said.

"I changed my mind last minute."

"But your wedding is on Sunday," I reminded her.

"And the bridal shower is tomorrow, it's no biggie," she shrugged.

"What made you suddenly change your mind?" Elliot asked her.

"No reason," she shrugged again and then looked at me. "So you'll come, right? Please say yes."

I didn't understand why she was suddenly so eager to have me hang out with her. It was weird. And I had no interest in going to her last-minute bridal shower. It wasn't that I didn't like Jess or anything, it was just that I felt a bitter feeling in the pits of my stomach anytime anything related to her and Elliot and their wedding came up. Some might call it jealousy and they would be right.

I was jealous. And I hated it.

Still, I plastered a smile on my face. "Sure," I said while thinking of a valid excuse I could use not to go tomorrow.

"Great!" She said, closing her purse and holding Elliot's hand. My eyes lingered on their joined hands for a moment too long. "See you tomorrow then. And Harley can come too, I suppose, since she'll be my sister-in-law soon."

My jaw clenched then. Elliot suddenly released Jess' hand and scratched his nose. My eyes unwillingly flickered towards him only to see that he was already looking at me. There was something unreadable on his expression, and I hoped he hadn't seen the way I had been looking at their joint hands. He dropped his hand from his nose, and rather than joining it with Jess' again as I had expected, he shoved it into his pocket. Jess then proceeded to link her arm through his and I looked away then, turning to head upstairs and forcing myself to think only of that nap I wanted.

I didn't get that said nap because when Harley returned from school a couple of minutes later, she suddenly burst into my room and hopped onto my bed, telling me Elliot had told her about the bridal shower and asking if I was really planning on going. When I said no, she started bouncing on my bed to stop me from ignoring her while trying to convince me to go.

But I didn't care that there was going to be rich people food. Didn't care that there were going to be literal caterers and a table designated for only snacks. Didn't care that there was going to be a chocolate fountain or a quadruple-decker chocolate cake. Didn't care that—

"Harley!" I shouted, annoyed by the way she kept listing what was going to be at the bridal shower to convince me to go. "Stop."

But she only continued, "There's also going to be a—"

"I'm still not going to go," I cut her off.

"Why don't you want to go?"

"I just don't want to." I wasn't about to tell Harley the real reason why I didn't want to go, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Please go," she begged. "If you don't go then I won't want to go."

I raised a brow, "is this just another tactic of yours?"

"No, I swear," she said. "I don't like Jess but I like rich people food. I don't like her friends but I like rich people food. But no matter how much I like rich people food, I'm not going to go only to sit at a table all day by myself. None of her friends would talk to me."

"So what, you just want to use my presence to make yourself comfortable?"

"Precisely."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that, and I found myself giving in, "fine."

"There'll also be..." she paused, backtracking. "Wait, did you just say fine?"

"I did."

"So you'll go?"

"Will you stop bugging me if I say yes?"

"Yes."

"Then yes."

"Yes!" She punched a fist into the air and then settled on kneeling beside me on my bed.

"You seem rather excited."

"I'm excited about the food, not the whole celebratory shower," she told me. "You know I'm a foodie."

"So if there wasn't good food...?"

"You wouldn't see a hint of me," she said then she reconsidered, "but if Elliot was marrying someone I liked then I would go even if there was no food." She glanced at me then, "if he was marrying someone like you, for example."

I snorted, trying to ignore the way that phrase made my heart skip a beat, "because you like me?"

"And also because I like you and Elliot together," she said, but she wasn't looking at me anymore. "I don't think he realises but... he's not very happy with Jess."

"They seem very happy to me," I sneered.

I hadn't realised Harley was looking at me, but she slowly smiled as if realising something for the first time.

"I can't help but notice that every time he's with her, he's so serious and lame," she continued, saying the word as if it disgusted her. "But when he's with you, he's more himself." It was my turn to look away, not wanting Harley to read anything else from my expression. "Every time he's with you, his laughs aren't forced, but I don't think he realises that either."

I absorbed her words, and despite myself, my heart pulsed at the prospect of me being a better match for Elliot than Jess was for him. But no matter what everyone else thought, at the end of the day, he was engaged to Jess.

When Harley saw I wasn't going to say anything she asked, "how do you really feel about my brother?"

I sighed, shaking my head slowly. "It doesn't matter what I feel, Harley, he doesn't feel the same way."

Harley's breath hitched and a smile split across her face. "So you do feel something."

I sighed, not meaning to, but nodded. The least I could give Harley was the truth. She was such a cunning kid and I wasn't ignorant of the way she always tried to get Elliot and me together, taking pictures and videos to document my imminent heartbreak. Okay, so maybe that wasn't her intention, but still, this wasn't going to end well for me, and I knew that. Yet I was still here, hoping for something that would never happen like the pitiful fool I was.

"I knew it!" Harley squealed. "I knew there was something. I just knew it!"

"But as I said, it doesn't matter," I told her.

"But it does," Harley said with a bit too much enthusiasm. "It does matter."

I sat up and placed my hands on her shoulders, "No, it doesn't. He's with Jess, so what I feel doesn't matter."

"Listen, Zara," she said seriously, placing her hands over mine. "Elliot's dumber than you think, he probably doesn't know that you have feelings for him and maybe if you told him—"

"No," I said urgently.

"Why not?"

"Because the rejection will be ten times worse," I told her, my eyes going glassy.

"What makes you think he'll reject you?" Harley questioned, genuinely surprised. "Zara, I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. He might not know how you feel because he's painfully oblivious. And he probably doesn't even realise how much he feels for you because he's an idiot."

"Yeah, well, he's an idiot who's in love with someone else."

"And that someone else is you," she said with so much surety that I swallowed.

"No," I said softly. "I wish it was, but it isn't me."

Just then, I saw movement from the corner of my eye and glanced at the door, and I could have sworn I saw a smidge of red fabric before I heard silent yet quick footsteps descending the stairs.