"You want me to fall back in love with you? How do I do that when I haven’t ever stopped?"

- Coming to theaters this Friday

Chapter 4

I can’t say that I’ve ever dealt with anything like this before. Running a shaky hand through my hair, I hung my head forward, feeling exhausted. The vivid images of that man and his blood burned in my mind.

“Are you going to be sick again?” Carson asked with concern, the lounge dipping beside me. He began rubbing my back soothingly. I shook my head, slowly reclining back so that I could look him in the eye.

“One of your coworkers?” I asked him, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice.

He nodded slowly. “I just need to keep a low profile for a while, until this dies away. I didn’t want to shoot him, but I had no choice.”

“You had a choice. How many people have you shot before?”

“Honestly? He was the first one. I’ve been trained to shoot, but that was the first time I’ve actually shot someone. All the more reason to get out.”

“What are we going to do? They’re going to keep looking for you.”

A small smile danced around his lips. I quirked an eyebrow in question. “You said we.”

Rolling my eyes, I slowly stood up. We were at another apartment which belonged to one of his friends. Hopefully not another drug dealing friend. I maneuvered myself toward the bench and filled up another glass of water. The liquid felt soothing on my throat. He cleared his throat uneasily, coming behind me.

“Look, I didn’t want to get you in the mess. I didn’t think they would come to my apartment. I just need to give back the packages I have left over and resign. The Chief should let me go, since I haven’t been in the business long.”

“You really think he is just going to let you go?” I questioned, laughing without humour. “I’ve seen these things happen in movies Carson. I doubt he will just be fine with it.”

“I believe he might. I have a reason to leave now.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“You.”

I exhaled shakily. He moved so that we were in close proximity. Running his hands down my arms, he leaned so that his chin was resting on my shoulder. I should feel uncomfortable, but it felt natural. Almost like we had been in the exact position a million times. Frankly, we probably had been. I leaned back, closing my eyes. My boring life seemed appealing right now, instead of being in the mess. But at the same time, I wouldn’t have wanted in to be any other way.

“Who is the Chief?”

“I have never met him. After everything, I still haven’t. He’s the top of the top. Unless you’re involved for a long time, you don’t. Unless you want out of course.”

“That’s comforting.”

“Don’t worry. I got into this mess, I can get out of it. I just got you back. I’m not going to let anything take you away from me again.” He murmured against my ear. A strange sensation washed over me. I rolled my lips into my mouth, my legs feeling like jelly.

Pivoting, I turned. Our noses brushed, causing my gaze dropped to his lips. They were so familiar and yet so unknown to me. I could remember them, but it felt so long ago…

He lent in tantalisingly slow and kissed me. As soon as he did, I knew for certain that I had loved him before. A tidal wave of emotions rolled through me at his touch, ones that I recognised. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I drew him even closer to me. I felt electrified. How I could forget something like this? His palm cupped my face, tilting my head back. Our lips moved together simultaneously, like I knew they had many times before. Breathlessly, we broke a part. My chest was rising and falling, my knees feeling unsteady. He lent forward once more, his forehead pressing against mine.

“God, I have missed you.”

He wrapped his arm around me, engulfing me in a bear hug. We stayed silent, just enjoying each other’s embrace. I stepped back, leaning on the bench. I titled my head so that I was staring into his electric blue eyes.

“Why has my step-father not tried to help me remember?”

“You didn’t want to remember and he didn’t have the determination to make you. You turned to denial, he turned to alcohol. You’ve both been spiraling downward ever since it happened. You just needed a slight push to remember. It took me a long time to realise that I was that push all along.”

“He needs help.”

“I know.” He agreed, nodding. “But right now, my focus is all on you.”

“You should be worrying about yourself. When are you going to meet with the Chief?”

“I don’t think that’s up to me. Once that man he sent after me goes back without me, he will take matters into his own hands.”

“Which means?” I asked quietly, fearing the answer.

“He’s probably already on his way.”

I don’t remember when but at some point that afternoon, I fell asleep. When I woke, Carson wasn’t here. My stomach churned at the thought of him being taken away from me already. I wandered through the hallway and toward the kitchen. My heart skipped a beat inside my chest when an unfamiliar boy was in there, preparing food. Dropping silently to the ground, with shaky hands, I grabbed the glass-made lamp on the low table beside me. As quietly as possible, I padded toward the bench, my eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Where is he?” I asked, my voice deadly quiet.

The guy didn’t even turn around, much to my annoyance. He finished what he was doing nonchalantly, while I stood there awkwardly, my mouth dangling open.

“Well?” I continued, impressed my voice sounded confident.

“Put that thing down before you hurt yourself.” He snorted, amusement evident in his town, not having actually looked over to see if I was indeed holding anything. He turned, smirking at me carelessly. “Bit rude to come at me with a weapon, in my own apartment.”

Well I felt stupid. Slowly, I lowered my hands, my face turning hot from humiliation. He laughed, resuming with what he was doing previously.

“It’s okay. I understand why you would be a bit on edge. Carson is just out on the verandah having a smoke.”

I wrinkled my nose automatically. “Oh.”

Slowly, I sat on one of the chairs connected to the island. I watched in silence as the boy continued to prepare himself dinner. After when felt like an eon, he eventually turned around, wiping his hands hastily on his jeans.

“Michael,” he smiled charmingly, throwing his hand out. Hesitantly, I shook it. “You’re the infamous Chanel I presume.”

“In the flesh,” I replied dryly.

“He’s a good guy. I don’t know what you remember about him and I know a lot has changed, but he’s still a good guy. He just went through a rough patch after…” he made a movement which involved his two fists slamming together and a disturbing sound that resembled an explosion. “The crash and all.”

“Thank you for the demonstration. I wanted to be reminded of the moment I lost my memory and my mother died.”

His face fell instantly. “I didn’t mean-”

“Forget it.” I said curtly, rubbing my face. I clambered to my feet and made my way out to the verandah. Pausing momentarily, I watched Carson. He had his back to me, his leg up, resting on the railing. His cigarette was unlit in his hand, much to my pleasure. He was merely just staring into space, thinking.

I slipped through the door. He glanced up as I moved beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder. He gave me a small smile.

“How did you sleep?”

“Fine.”

“Want to know something weird?”

“Sure.” I replied, retracting my arm and leaning forward. In this position, our arms brushed against each other and I smirked slightly, feeling tingles shoot up my arm at his touch. The ‘old’ feelings weren’t so old, that’s for sure.

“For a few months now, I’ve been a consistent smoker. Not anything ridiculous, but I did smoke daily. Now, I have one here right in front of me and absolutely no desire to light it.”

A smile stretched across my face. “That’s good. Great, actually.”

He looked over, smiling. My breath hitched in my throat at the sight of his crooked smile. The one I have stared at so many times. Images of him flashed through my mind… family dinners, us going to the movies, playing at the beach…

Closing the gap between us, our lips met. He took a step back in surprise. Reaching up, I snaked my arms around his neck, loving the feeling of his lips moving with mine. Carson rested his hands on my hips, his thumbs making circular patterns against my bare flesh, where my shirt had rolled up. His lips moved across my jaw, making a trail. A blissful sigh escaped me. He tugged me closer, hugging me tight. It was as though the tighter he held, the less chance I would leave him again.

“I love you.” He whispered. I closed my eyes, my fingers gripping his shirt. “I always have and I always will.”

I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. We stepped back from each other and I rested my back against one of the pillars.

“I wish you had tried to reach me sooner. Could have saved us a lot of time.”

“I tried. At the hospital. Every day I went to see you. You stopped letting me in after a while.”

Tears stung at my eyes. So many people would have been there for me and I turned my back against them because that was easier. I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realised I had been holding. My mouth felt hot and sticky.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” He murmured. “No one should have to endure what you went through.”

“How… how are your parents?” I asked, thinking back to them. It was a little hazy but I knew enough that they had once been a big part of my life.

“They’re okay. Once I moved out, they fought a lot. I thought they were going to get a divorce at one point, just to make life a whole lot better for me, but they sorted through their issues. I’ve been visiting them more regularly. I think that helped. When I went off the radar for a while… everything just turned to crap.”

I watched him. His jaw was tense, furiously ticking as he thought. He reached up, rubbing his face wearily. I just wanted to reach out him and tell him everything was alright. But I didn’t. I just observed in silence. I didn’t have the right words to say and I didn’t know if everything was going to work out.

“I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” I replied quietly.

“When things are better, I’m going to take you out on a date. We can go to dinner and take a walk on the beach like we used to. We can star gaze, tell each other things… it will be just like old times. You just wait.”

A small smile appeared on my lips as I watched the excitement build inside of him. I hoped, for both our sakes, that it worked out like that. Giving in, I reached out, entwining our fingers together.

“That sounds perfect.”

He tugged at my hand, drawing me into him. Softly, he kissed the top of my head. Sighing, I looked out over the verandah at all the other surrounding apartments, built practically on top of each other. The sky was a deep orange, illuminating all the other verandahs. I would be happy here. In a small, dingy apartment with this boy. I could see myself being content here. A lot more content then where I am now.

“I need to contact Craig. Let him know that I’m okay.” I suddenly realised. He was going to flip, me disappearing like this. Carson grimaced, tightening his hold on me.

“Yeah I suppose you should.”

“Er-guys…” a voice interrupted, definitely not sounding as confident as before. Carson whipped around, his hand practically crushing mine as his body became tense. “I think he’s already here.”

My heart plummeted into my stomach. I felt sick. I assume this is the ‘Chief’ Carson was speaking of. He had his gun, angled so that it was placed at the base of Michael’s throat. For someone who was oozing confidence mere moments ago, he was the opposite now. He looked as pale as a ghost. His face was blotchy, red and strained as he tried to maintain his breathing. My hands had moved to my mouth as I was in shock. It wasn’t Michael though, who had me freaked out. It was the man holding the gun to his throat. It couldn’t be…

“Craig?