"I don’t want better…I want you."

- The Best of Me, coming to theaters October 17

Chapter 3

“Took you look enough.”

My mouth was dangling open unattractively. I could not comprehend what was happening. We knew each other? Better yet, we were once in love? How could I not remember such a significant part of my life?

My legs buckled underneath me and I collapsed on the grass. Carson instantly swooped down to help me, but I waved him off distractedly. A sense of uneasiness swirled in my abdomen as I tried to think back to my childhood. Snippets came back to me, but nothing very clear. Swallowing, I placed my head in my hands, feeling sick.

“Why can’t I remember things?” I whispered. “How have I not realised this before now?”

He jerked a shoulder up. “I don’t how you haven’t realised, I’m not sure what really is going on inside that brain of yours, but I do know why you can’t remember things. But I’d prefer you try and remember.”

“None of this makes any sense,” I groaned, rubbing my temples.

“I know this is a lot to take in and you’re freaking out, but that’s not going to help you remember.”

The words, “I don’t even know you,” were on the verge of my lips, but I did know him. The memory that came back to me was from only a couple of years ago, but I felt like it was a dream. Could I possibly have been that girl? Have I been in a trance of denial for the last two years?

“I just,” I tried to form a sentence but my jumbled brain had other ideas. “I am so confused.”

“I know.” He said softly, plopping down beside me. “Want a biscuit?

Reaching into his pocket, he emerged with a fistful of wrapped biscuits. I just blinked at him for a few moments, staring at his dead serious face.

“You’re offering me food when I have just realised something is seriously wrong with me?”

“Comfort food?”

I pursed my lips but didn’t reply. “My head is spinning.”

“I could imagine.”

The sun had settled over us, making my skin heat up. I shrugged off the cardigan and lay back, the grass tickling my arms. He followed suit, removing his leather jacket. I turned my head to him. A sense of déjà vu hit me as I stared into his eyes. At first, he had been unfamiliar, but now I feel as though I had known him my whole life. Well, apparently I did. Absently, I reached forward, trailing my fingertips down his defined arms. He watched me curiously, his lips slightly parted. The more I thought about him, the more parts of my memory came back.

“I was so in love with you.” I murmured. “How could I have forgotten?”

“You had an accident.”

My jaw clenched involuntarily. I felt sick. I gestured for him to continue, although I really didn’t want to hear it.

“The one that killed your mother. You were in a coma which affected your long-term memory. If you spoke to anyone that you used to be friends with, you probably would have realised, but you shut everyone out.”

“Why would I?” I whispered.

He shrugged. “That’s what I asked myself for a long time. I thought maybe going back to school would help you, but you never came back.”

“Yeah, I wanted to work…” I trailed off. “I needed money and they only offered me though the day shifts, so I took them. Are you still at school?”

“No, I dropped out when I realised you weren’t coming back. There was no point staying.”

“Oh. What have you been doing?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Carson,” I said slowly, narrowing my eyes at him. I sat up, continuing to stare down at him. “What have you been doing?”

“Nothing, just working as well.” He sat up as well, rubbing his neck. He cast his eyes down and fumbled for something in his jacket. I watched him silently pull out a cigarette. He took a drag and blew the smoke up toward the sky. I looked at him in distaste.

“Really? Smoking at a place like this?” I snapped, clambering to my feet. “Look, this walk down memory lane was nice and all, but I’m going now.”

“Wait, Chanel.” He said urgently, also getting to his feet. I flinched. I hadn’t told him my name. I had accepted the fact that I knew him, but it still felt weird having him say it. I paused. “I’m sorry, but a lot has changed. I didn’t take your memory loss very well.”

My face softened as I stared at him. I was too absorbed in my own problems to think how this could have affected him. He reached forward, his long fingers wrapping around my wrist. I glanced down in surprise.

“Please. Don’t go.”

My eyes swivelled toward the still-lit cigarette in his other hand. He let go of me and quickly put it out. He picked up the butt and put it back in his pocket.

“I want to know what you have been doing.”

He stared at me silently for a few moments. I stared challengingly back, waiting. He exhaled, collapsing back down. Slowly, I sat as well, not taking my eyes off of him.

“I took it really hard when you couldn’t remember. I dropped out of school and began working full time. After a while, I hated it, so I quit that too. I started hanging with a different crew. They hooked me up with some other work. Work that I’m not proud of. For a while, that’s all I did and I enjoyed it. But in the end, I began hating that too. I started going to the supermarket you work at. I just sat out the front and watched you, as weird as that sounds. But watching you, it made me realise how much I needed you back. When I saw your car broken down, again, I had to help you. Now I’m in trouble… Everything is such a mess.”

“What line of work did you get yourself involved in?” I asked quietly, already knowing the answer. He didn’t reply. Swallowing, I continued to probe. “Drugs?”

Agitatedly, he began rubbing at his face. “Dealing, not taking, but yeah. Drugs.”

Rolling my tongue across my teeth, I leant back. I didn’t know what to say.

“Now you want out and they won’t let you?” I guessed.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I know too much.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked quietly.

“I have no idea.”

I emerged out of the forest, Carson’s hand resting on my back. We stayed there for a few hours, just talking. It had been refreshingly nice. A few of the things of told me, I vaguely remembered. It was amazing, really. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen now though. Where do we go from here?

“I had a really nice time today.”

“Me too.”

“Suppose I should go on home…” I trailed off awkwardly.

“Or you could stay?”

I paused before hopping onto the bike, staring at him. Did I want to stay? I certainly didn’t want to go home. Nerves bubbled in my stomach at the thought of staying again. Averting my eyes, I slipped the cardigan back on.

“Yeah, okay.”

A genuine smile stretched across his face at my response. I climbed onto the bike after him, wrapping my arms around him. I let out a shaky breath. The trip back was fast, seeing as I had my eyes closed majority of the time. I dismounted, feeling a little wobbly. Feeling slightly light headed, I stumbled back.

“Hey, you okay?” he questioned, reaching for me.

“Yeah, it’s just been full on today. I need some water.”

“Alright, I’ll go get some. Do you want to meet me at the apartment?” he asked, handing me his keys.

Nodding, I let them fall into my hands. I made my way toward the apartment, feeling a little excited to spend more time with him. I stumbled through the door, ready to get off my feet, when something shoved my shoulder roughly. I turned in surprise and a strangled scream tore from my throat. A man, dressed in all black stood not far from me, a gun raised, pointing at my chest. My blood turned cold in my veins. Instantly, my entire body began trembling. Moving quicker than I thought humanly possible, he swung me around, so that my back was pressed against his front. He jabbed the gun to my temple.

"Where. Is. He?" the voice ground out.

"I-I don't know." I whispered, my voice coming out raspy and hoarse. "I swear."

"Wrong answer."

He then pulled the trigger.

I flinched, but the bullet didn’t hit me like I expected. The man cried out, dropping his gun to the ground. My eyes snapped open and Carson was there, with his own gun. Where on Earth did he pull that thing? Did he have that on him the entire time we were together today? My stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought.

“Grab it,” Carson yelled at me, as I was frozen in shock. The bullet must have skinned my own leg, seeing as I was placed in front of the man. He must have done this before, to be that accurate.

Numbly, I fumbled to pick it up. I stared down at the man, who now had a bullet wound in his leg. Blood was oozing from his injury and it was all I could see. When I closed me eyes, his blood was still there. I wanted to be sick.

These things do not happen in real life. Clutching my hand in his own, Carson dragged me out of the apartment, my eyes still tightly shut. He hastily grabbed the gun from me and I was not going to complain. Just holding it was enough to give me shivers. My eyes snapped open as we started to run, but I skidded to a stop. I wrenched my hand from his, looking at him in disgust.

“I cannot believe you just did that. Whatever you’re involved in, I can’t be a part of it.”

“Can we just get out of here?” He asked frantically, tugging at me again. “I’ll explain later.”

“I am not going with you! You just shot somebody!”

“To protect you…” he trailed off. “Where are you going to go? Back to your alcoholic step-father?”

“Yeah, probably would be safer there!” I snapped back, practically spitting fire.

I jumped in alarm at the sound of a large bang. I went to turn but he reached for my hand again.

“Just trust me.” He pleaded.

It was completely irrational to want to go with him after what I just witnessed, but I did. With a few moments of hesitation, I let him pull me along. If he were going to injure me, he would have already.

Again, we piled onto his motorbike and I clung to him. I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to believe I was doing this. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, burying my face into his back. Today, being with him had been amazing. The stories he told about us, the memories that came back…

It took one moment to forget about him but I knew I was falling in love with him, all over again.