After leaving Heahea City behind me I made my way down a path with way too much overgrown grass for my taste. To my annoyance, I kept thinking about Dawn and our conversations. It surprised me when she said she respected my opinion as a trainer and once again I had to admit that she wasn't just a flighty girl that cared more about her hair than anything else. It also annoyed me that during her battle I found myself actually acknowledging the power her pokemon had, even though they looked like they could be knocked over by a strong breeze.

Catching myself, I shook my head and tried to shove thoughts of Dawn away from me. I would just make sure to be a step ahead of her on this island and then I'd leave her behind before long.

  I'll make sure to bake some more poffins for your pokemon, so if you DO come then don't leave before they can eat them, Dawn's voice repeated in my head and I ran a hand through my bangs.

Why does she have to be so nice to my pokemon? I grumbled to myself as I pushed through the waist high grass towards flickering lights that I could see in the distance. As I suspected the Pokemon Center in Paniola Ranch still had plenty of rooms left and I soon found relief from my annoying thoughts in the peace of sleep.

The next day I awoke with renewed energy and I decided to spend the morning devising a training schedule for my pokemon. By noon I was satisfied with my plan as I reviewed the moves that I wanted to teach all of my pokemon and the timing between challenging the three totem pokemon of Akala. Once that was finalized I grabbed a quick lunch at the cafeteria, restocked my travel food stores, and set out for Brooklet Hill. As I left Paniola Town behind me the path took me towards huge fields filled with wispy sugar cane plants on one side while the other were expanses of fields populated with Tauros, Mareep, and Miltank.

The day was warm and I was tempted to take off my jacket, although that just reminded me of Dawn asking if I burned easily. Rolling my eyes at myself, I wondered what it was about Dawn that made it so she would pop up in my head at any given moment. 

It's not like I've spent time talking to anyone else, I admitted to myself but then a noise distracted my thoughts. I stood still and turned towards the sugar cane field, listening. Once again the sound of a shriek of anger came towards me, followed by a pokemon call. Curious, I left the path and began forging through the sugar cane. 

After walking towards the sounds of a fight I stumbled into a bare patch of the field where two Mudbrays were in the middle of a brawl. Several Lilipup stood around the empty patch of earth barking at the two fighting pokemon. I was about to turn away when a rustle from the sugar cane caught my attention and I turned just as a blue and black blur burst from the plants. The pokemon leaped, landing in between the two Mudbray just as they were about to crash into each other. My eyes widened as the pokemon spread his arms out, the palm of its paws glowing white. The mudbrays, seemingly blinded with rage, continued charging forward and as they hit the pokemon's palm they were both tossed back and crashed into the sugar cane on opposite sides of the small clearing.

Neither Mudbray rose for several seconds and I turned my attention back to the Riolu that was now standing calmly in the middle of the clearing, folding its arms with a look of obvious annoyance. The lilipup that had been hugging the edge of the clearing ran over to him, all yipping excitedly as if Riolu was the leader of their gang. Both mudbrays twitched and slowly rolled back onto their feet, and Riolu waited until the two cowed pokemon came to stand in front of him. I watched with fascination as Riolu seemed to scold them in his grunting voice and the two bigger pokemon hung their heads.

Unclipping a Pokeball from my belt I stepped forward, causing several of the lilipup to jump from fright and run into the sugar cane. They were not of any interest to me though and I concentrated on Riolu, who met my eyes with an expression completely devoid of fear. We regarded each other for a few silent moments until he broke eye contact and turned his attention to the two Mudbray that had backed up behind him. He bonked both of them on the nose with his little fist, causing them to flinch back, and started walking away.

"I challenge you to a battle," I said loudly and Riolu instantly froze. 

Both the mudbray turned to look at me briefly before they trotted into the sugar cane, leaving Riolu by himself. I tossed Torracat's pokeball and released him, a sense of excitement rushing over me. I'd never caught a riolu before, but it had always been a goal of mine to train one. The opportunity had presented itself before, but this Riolu seemed to have both the power and the attitude that I was searching for.

Torracat rumbled threateningly, crouching down as he awaited my directions. Riolu turned and was regarding Torracat quietly, not seeming to be intimidated in the slightest. Just as I was about to call an attack Riolu bent his waist and burst forward in a Quick Attack. Torracat, taken by surprise, let out a yeowl as Riolu slammed into his side, pushing him several feet to the side where he shook his head and hissed at Riolu.

"Use Fire Fang," I instructed calmly.

Torracat instantly obeyed, leaping towards Riolu and creating his ghostly flaming teeth. Riolu used Quick Attack to dodge though and the fangs snapped closed onto thin air. Torracat spun around just as Riolu's paw began to glow.

"Flip over him and use Double Kick!" I called out, watching in satisfaction as Torracat lithely flipped over Riolu before he could use his move and landed the two-part kick to Riolu's back, tossing him back where he crashed through the sugar cane. 

A moment of panic gripped me as I wondered if Riolu would take this opportunity to run away, but the pokemon burst back into the clearing after only a few seconds, his eyes flashing a green color. Suddenly Riolu's legs began to glow and he ran up to Torracat and used Double Kick before Torracat could dodge, slamming him down onto the ground with the force of the move.

Riolu doesn't learn Double Kick through leveling up, he must have used Copycat, I thought excitedly. 

"Come on, Torracat! Use your speed and get close." 

Torracat growled in acknowledgement and dashed towards Riolu, who once again was getting a Force Palm ready. Torracat jumped away from Riolu's attempt to touch him with his paw and at my command twisted and crunched down onto Riolu with a powerful Fire Fang. Riolu grunted with pain but fought through the flames to smack Torracat's neck with a Force Palm, pushing him back so that he rolled several feet across the ground.

"Torracat, get up!" I yelled, keeping an eye on Riolu to make sure it didn't run away. 

A brief sense of pride washed over me as Torracat only took a moment to shake his head before hissing again at Riolu. I knew that Torracat didn't have great defense stats and I would have to be careful to not let Riolu get another Force Palm off, but I was glad that Torracat had learned to fight through his pain. Without warning, Riolu dashed forward using Quick Attack.

"Let him come and use Double Kick!" I instructed. 

Torracat scratched the ground as his long body tensed. Just as Riolu came in to tackle him Torracat spun and with glowing legs lashed out at Riolu, catching him under the chin and sending him back towards me. I dodged as Riolu crashed to the ground and when he struggled to get up, I took the opportunity to toss a Pokeball at him. The ball connected and Riolu disappeared into the ball where it rocked back and forth one, two, three times before the chime of success sounded.

As the sound rang out Torracat slumped to the ground, meowing in pain. I grabbed the Pokeball with my newest pokemon and walked over to where Torracat was lying. His breathing seemed labored and I realized that the bell of fire at the base of his neck looked almost dented. Was that where Riolu hit him with the Force Palm? I wondered with slight worry. Torracat didn't move as I hesitantly stroked his ears and my worry escalated. Normally I wouldn't coddle my pokemon, but this behavior from my egotistical Torracat was unusual.

"Torracat, are you alright?" I asked gruffly and when he continued to just breath raspily I grit my teeth. "I'm going to return you to your Pokeball and get you to a PokeCenter." 

The proud pokemon didn't respond so I returned him. Unsure of why I was feeling so panicky I sprinted through the sugar cane and back towards Paniola Town. I was grateful that I exercised regularly because I was able to get back to Paniola Town without running out of stamina and as I rushed through the doors I tried to calm myself to explain the situation.

"Nurse Joy, my Torracat is having trouble breathing," I explained, taking steadying breaths after my long run. Nurse Joy's bright smile fell and her eyes narrowed in worry.

"What happened?" she asked, holding out her hand and I took off Torracat's and Riolu's Pokeballs from my belt.

"We battled a Riolu and it hit Torracat in the throat with a Force Palm. Torracat kept battling so I didn't realize anything was wrong until after I caught Riolu." 

Nurse Joy's eyes widened to the size of sand dollars as she accepted the Pokeballs from me.

"You caught the Riolu from Paniola Ranch?" she asked in shock and I furrowed my brow, nodding uncertainly. "Oh, dear. I will take a look at Torracat right away. Please stay here," she ordered in a business-like tone before sweeping through the door into the nurse's section of the PokeCenter.

Clenching my jaw I walked over to one of the benches in the lobby area of the center and sat down, telling myself to stay still and not worry. Torracat will be fine, I told myself stiffly, wondering why I felt so concerned for him. In our trainings I worked him until he could barely move and he had given me loathing looks, but no matter what I threw at him he would always accept the challenge and worked until he mastered whatever technique we were working on. He will be fine, I repeated to myself silently.

Nearly an hour went by with me waiting in the lobby and watching as random trainers came and went. I held myself so still throughout the wait that when Nurse Joy came out of the back rooms my feet tingled as if they had fallen asleep when I stood. Ignoring the sensation though I walked calmly over to the counter where Nurse Joy was smiling tiredly at me.

"Why don't you come into the back with me?" she suggested. 

I nodded in agreement, following silently behind her as she led me through the swinging door. There were large windows on either side of the hallway showing rooms with state-of-the-art medical equipment and examination tables. Most of them were empty, but a few had pokemon that were being checked up on either by Blissey's or human workers. Nurse Joy took me to almost the end of the hallway and stopped in front of a window of a room where Torracat was lying on his side, his eyes closed and an oxygen tube looped under his nose.

"Torracat will be fine, thanks to you getting him here so quickly," Nurse Joy said with a smile and I felt my shoulders relax as I stared at my unconscious pokemon. "This Riolu," Nurse Joy said while holding up the other Pokeball I had given her and extending it to me. "He's a bit of a legend around here. Riolu acts as a keeper of the peace on the ranch and for whatever reason, his Force Palm is stronger than any I have ever seen. Many trainers have come up against Riolu only to end up with their pokemon severely injured."

I looked down at the Pokeball in my hands and thought back to our battle. Riolu was definitely strong and more strategic than almost any wild pokemon I had battled before, but I wouldn't have thought that it could cause so many trainers to fail at capturing it.

"So anyways, Riolu's Force Palm damaged Torracat's windpipe, but Blissey and I were able to repair the damage with simple surgery and Heal Bell. Now he just needs rest, but he should be all ready to go tomorrow morning," Nurse Joy explained with a smile and I nodded. "Riolu also burned his paw quite badly, I assume when he hit Torracat's neck, but we were able to heal it without any trouble. Good luck with training him."

With that Nurse Joy dismissed me and I walked back out into the Pokemon Center lobby. I considered what Nurse Joy said about Riolu's Force Palm being stronger than normal and decided that as long as Torracat was stuck here I might as well do some training with my new pokemon. 

I'll have to teach Torracat how to protect his throat in the future, I thought to myself as I walked into the battlefield area behind the center.

I was a little surprised that there was no one back here as I released Riolu, Torterra, and Rockruff. Torterra was the first to notice our newest addition and he turned around slowly so he could level his large black eyes on the smaller pokemon. Rockruff, who hadn't had much time to get used to Torterra yet, walked over to me and stood by my legs, regarding both pokemon with a calculating gaze. Riolu stood quietly seeming to assess his situation with every movement of his eyes as he took in his new surroundings.

"Riolu, these are two of my other pokemon, Torterra, and Rockruff. You are a part of my team now and I hold all of my pokemon to a high standard. We all practice, we all battle, and we will all become stronger together," I said, my tone blunt and absolute. 

Riolu listened to me but didn't respond other than to blink once slowly. Taking that as a silent agreement I instructed Torterra to have a mock battle with Rockruff while I trained one on one with Riolu. Without question, Rockruff began to summon a Rock Tomb, which Torterra easily deflected with a combination of Leaf Tornado and Vine Whip. Smiling slightly, knowing that Torterra would make Rockruff work hard, I walked over to a large rock on the edge of the yard and looked down at Riolu who had followed me silently.

"Your Force Palm nearly crushed Torracat's windpipe," I said bluntly. Riolu looked up at me, a brief flash of remorse going through his eyes and I nodded. "Pokemon battles won through cheap shots are not worth calling victories. However, I don't think you did that on purpose, so I will overlook it this time. I want to see what you can do," I said, gesturing with my chin towards the rock in front of us.

"Use Force Palm." 

Riolu widened his stance and his paw slowly began to glow before he leaped forward and touched the rock. An explosion of force broke over the rock and as Riolu stepped back I was amazed to see that it had split almost completely in two. I let out a low whistle and Riolu glanced up at me before turning his gaze back on the rock.

"That is excellent, but you take too long to charge it up," I mused, thinking back to our battle and realizing that every time Riolu used Force Palm he had to stop and wait for his paw to glow completely. Riolu opened his paw and glanced at it with a frown. "I want you to be able to be charged and ready within a few seconds. If I call for a Force Palm and you stop moving then we're going to lose the battle," I pointed out bluntly and Riolu looked up at me before nodding firmly.

The rest of the day was spent between meditation exercises and mock battles between my pokemon. Rockruff seemed to have an endless amount of energy, but her moves would go wild when she got worked up in the middle of battle, so I made a mental note to include her in Riolu's meditation practices to improve her focus.

I checked on Torracat before returning to my room for the night but he was still sleeping. That night as I closed my eyes to fall asleep for some reason my mind kept replaying moments in my past journeys when my pokemon had battled beyond their breaking point. Torracat slumping to the ground would always flash in my mind before I would remember another battle and I grunted, tossing and turning and trying to decide how to feel. I'd always felt a sense of pride when my pokemon pushed through their pain to deliver the victory for me and they always recovered from the injury... so why did I feel a sense of guilt as I thought of Torracat sleeping in a strange room with an oxygen tube under his nose

Why do they keep going even though they're so injured? I wondered as all of the memories flashed through my mind's eye. 

Suddenly the image of Dawn being surrounded by her Piplup, Growlithe, and Cutiefly giving her worried looks after she was scratched by Rockruff came to my mind and my thoughts suddenly calmed as I realized what was bothering me. Dawn's pokemon battle for her because they love her. My pokemon battle for me because they want to earn my approval...

The realization hit me in the gut and I ran a hand through my bangs and scrunched my eyes tightly shut. I thought because I had eased up a little on my training techniques I was treating my pokemon better... but had I changed at all?

Hmmm. It's not that I'm trying to say your way of thinking is wrong... In my travels, I've helped many people learn to love Pokémon. I think that's important, too. Alder's words after he defeated me in our battle came back to me and I sat up, looking at the moon outside my room's window. I had dismissed his words as nonsense, thinking he was a sentimental fool. Yet as I sat alone in my room I wondered if they had any kind of validity to them. A heavy sigh escaped me as I considered this and I shook my head.

Love is an emotion I won't allow myself to feel, I reminded myself, looking dully out the window at nothing in particular. So if love is really the piece that I am missing... then there's nothing I can do but train harder to compensate for it. My conclusion felt like I was running away, but I closed my thoughts off, snuffing out my annoying realizations, and willed myself to go to sleep.

"Ouch!" 

I jerked, dropping the puzzle piece in my hand and looking towards the kitchen. The sounds of quiet sobbing reached my small ears and I pushed myself up and ran as swiftly as my little legs could carry me. Mommy was sitting on the floor, bright red blood flowing from her finger then down her wrist where it was dripping on the floor.

"Mommy!" My four-year-old self cried out as I ran over to her. 

Fat tears were dripping down her cheeks as she watched the blood flow from her finger. Looking around I saw a cloth hanging from the door of the oven and I grabbed it and wrapped it around her hand.

"We need a bandaid, Mommy," I said as my trembling hands tried to hold onto her finger underneath the dish towel. 

Mommy nodded jerkily, her breathing sporadic because of her sobs, and she pointed towards the set of shelves that served as storage for dry food in the kitchen. Blinking back my own tears I stood on my tiptoes and saw the red first aid box that Mommy had used just last week to put a bandaid on my knee. Stretching my arm as far as I could I finally managed to grab the small kit and slid it off the shelf. 

Once it was in my hands I sat in front of Mommy, who was leaning her head against the cabinets under the sink and struggled to open the box. When it finally popped open I selected a large bandaid and fumbled with the end until I managed to peel the bandaid out of the paper wrapping.

"Mommy, is it still bleeding?" I asked holding up the bandaid triumphantly and she turned her purple eyes that were overflowing with tears towards me. 

She stared at me for several seconds before she blinked once, twice, three times. I heard her swallow loudly and she brought her uninjured hand up to wipe away some of her tears, sitting up a little straighter.

"One.. one second, baby," she said haltingly, seeming to barely be able to speak through her tears. 

My own eyes filled with tears as I watched her lean forward and grasp the cloth that now had a large blood spot where it was wrapped around her finger. She propelled herself to her feet and turned to the sink that was half-filled with soapy water and dishes. Mommy flipped the faucet on and after a second she removed the cloth and put her finger under the water. I put both hands on the counter and stood on tiptoe again so I could see the water wash over her hand. After a few seconds, she removed her hand and dried it off with the non-bloodstained part of the cloth then gave me a watery smile.

"Can you take off the back part for me, baby?" she asked shakily. 

I nodded, peeling off the white back of the bandaid and holding it up for her to see. She pulled her finger from the cloth and pressed it against the pad of the bandaid, then let me wrap the sticky part all around her finger. The bandaid looked lumpy and weird, but she smiled at me through her tears and stroked my head.

"Thank you, baby. I hope you always help people when they are hurt," she said, kneeling down and wrapping me in a hug. "Just like your papa."

Mommy disappeared like she had been a breath of wind and I found myself playing in the living room with Reggie. He was teaching me how to play a new card game as the news played on the TV behind us. A familiar voice came from the TV and within seconds Mommy had run from the kitchen and came to sit on the couch. Her eyes went wide as a tall man with dark hair answered the news anchor's questions

"Reggie, Paul, come here. Come watch your papa," Mommy said without taking her eyes off the screen. 

I put down my hand of cards and walked over to Mommy, sitting down next to her. After a second she reached down and pulled me onto her lap, leaning her chin against the top of my head and I smiled happily.

"Are you worried about your match against Elite Four Member Bertha challenging you for the title of Champion?" the news anchor asked and my papa laughed loudly, grinning with confidence at the camera.

"Bertha challenges me to a battle every year. If I haven't practiced enough to beat her then I don't deserve to be Champion anymore," he said with a grin and I felt Mommy sigh into my hair.

We watched the interview, which only lasted for a few minutes before the news switched back to the upcoming weather. I felt Mommy kiss the top of my head and I looked up to see that her eyes were swimming with unshed tears.

"When you and Reggie grow up, you should become just like your papa. He's the strongest trainer in the world, you know. Nobody can beat him at a pokemon battle," Mommy bragged with a smile and Reggie popped off the couch.

"I'm going to be even stronger than Papa! I'm going to go on my journey and when I win the Pokemon League I'll challenge Papa and become the new champion!" Reggie said with a determined expression and Mommy chuckled, rocking me back and forth slightly on her lap.

"Maybe if you practice really hard," she said, but I didn't think she really meant it. Mommy knew that no one could beat Papa. I wanted to be just like Papa like Mommy said. That way Mommy would smile all the time.

The image faded to black for a few seconds before a bright light made me blink and suddenly I was on the grass, clutching my stomach as stabs of pain shot through me.

"See, he's not so tough. There's no way his dad is the champion," Freddy, a boy from 2nd grade, said while several kids stood behind him. Some of them were laughing, and others looked uncomfortable. I willed myself to not cry and rolled onto my knees, looking up at him with a determined frown.

"My Papa is too the Champion!" I said loudly and Freddy snickered.

"Then why don't we ever see him? Everyone knows the Champion lives on Lily of the Valley Island," Freddy sneered at me and I frowned at him.

"That's because the Pokemon League is there. But he comes home and visits lots." 

An image of my mom's crying face came into my mind as I said the lie, but I clenched my hands into fists and kept a straight face as Freddy kicked my shoulder and knocked me to the ground.

Walking home that day the tears I had been holding back slipped down my cheeks and I didn't bother to rub them away. Reggie left on his pokemon journey in April and since then all of the kids had been picking on me, calling me a liar, and saying that Reggie was a liar too. I hated them. I hated them all. I hated Reggie for leaving me and Mommy. I hated Papa for being too busy to come home. And I hated myself because I couldn't keep Mommy from crying.

As I walked into our home the room became fuzzy and as I walked forward, slightly disoriented, I found myself in my room studying for a grammar test. Looking at the calendar "Paul's 8th birthday" was written in big letters in the middle of the page.

The sound of shattering glass reached me in my upstairs bedroom and I jumped up, knocking the chair I was sitting on to the floor as I ran downstairs to see what happened. As I jumped down the last three stairs I heard the TV volume turn up louder than I had ever heard it. My throat closed off as I turned the corner and saw Mom's expression of horror as she stared at the TV.

"The Champion has arrived at the scene of the terrible cave in of the Oreburgh Mine. As you can see there is a fierce thunderstorm going on right now which is causing the excavation team major problems!" a female news anchor yelled over the roaring wind.

I watched as my papa motioned for the police officers to get away from the caved-in tunnel exit. Both his Absol and Gyarados were out of their Pokeballs using their moves to try and open the blocked tunnel.

I walked over to Mom and touched her arm. She looked down at me with fear in her eyes and I tried to smile at her, but she turned back to watching the TV without saying anything. We watched as a man-sized hole was carved out of the rocks blocking escape and Mom gasped as Papa returned Gyarados and ducked through the hole with his Absol right behind him. Several minutes passed before a small stream of battered and dirty miners began crawling out of the hole. The News anchor continued giving play by plays of what was happening when all of a sudden the wind picked up fiercely, causing whoever was holding the camera to stumble and the video rocked back and forth.

My breath caught as the camera steadied just as the mine shaft began to rumble. Shouts and screams cut through the screeching wind and I watched with disbelief as the rocks that were blocking the exit shifted and started tumbling down, covering the hole that Papa had made with mud and rock. Mom screamed.

My eyes flew open and I sat straight up, heaving deep breaths as my heart continued to race unnaturally fast. I could feel cold sweat dripping down my neck and back and I leaned my elbows on my knees so I could cup my head in my hands as I tried to control my breathing. My bangs were damp with sweat and I shakily brushed them away from my forehead.

"Calm down, Paul. Idiot, that happened years ago, calm down," I told myself, hating the warbling I could hear in my voice. But no matter what I did I couldn't get Mom's scream to stop ringing through my ears.

A/N The first glimpses of Paul's past... hopefully they weren't too sad for you. Next update won't be until Monday, but hopefully you enjoyed this chapter!