Harry's Pov

I dragged her away from the pitch searching for some empty place so we could talk.

Ginny wouldn't stop protesting but I just didn't care. Many people saw us through the corridors gasping and giving amused looks. Nevertheless, my mind keeps thinking of how to tell her my bottled up feelings. What if she says no? I stumbled a little at the thought.

We've finally reached the Astronomy Tower and it's vacant, thankfully.

She harshly detached her hand from my grip. I understood why she did that. I was being rough.

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU!? YOU SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND HEXED DEAN. HE WAS THERE UNCONSCIOUS AND YOU DRAGGED ME-"

I punched the wall hard. Yes, she keeps whining about that precious dean and I didn't know what else would shut her up.

Damn! That hurt.

I heard her gasp loudly. "Ha-harry?"

I didn't even look at my wound, my eyes are staring into her eyes but her eyes are watering as she keeps looking at my now wounded fist.

"W-wh-"

"Its dean isn't it!? it's always him! You're concerned about him, you care for him, you think about him all the time but for me. If you wanted someone to help you with quidditch, I'm the fucking captain, can't you come to me?!" I shouted making he pale.

"Harry, what are you talking about? whatever it is we'll talk later, I swear, I'll listen. But, please, please just let me heal it. Your hand is bleeding. Let's get to the hospital wing," she said as she took a step forward reaching for my hand.

I backed away. Yes, my hand is indeed bleeding, droplets of blood falling on the ground and the cuts on my knuckles are clear. I've never done something as stupid as this but when it comes to ginny, I don't think what I do.

"Not until you listen to me" I stated.

"I will! But before that-"

"No! Now" I protested like a small kid. Regardless, what I have to tell her is more important than this wound. I could die bleeding but I'm not gonna let this moment get ruined by anyone.

She agreed and wiped off her tears. Why is she crying if I'm hurt? She doesn't care, does she?

So, here it comes...I have to confess.

I do know someday I'll reveal my bottled up feelings but I never thought it had to be this way.

I slowly reached for my pocket with my other hand. I guess it's better to start with where it all started.

I took a photo...her photo. The one that I stole from Dudley's room. I gazed for a sec and immediately a smile crept up my face. All those memories back there came rushing back.

I handed it to her. She quickly snatched it from my hands. Her eyes grew wide...wider just as I thought.

"How did you-?" She stuttered. "This was in my freshman year, one of my friends snapped this picture but Dudley snatched it from me and never returned
it." Her voice is a bit shaking, probably worried about all this. Just a min, gin. You'll understand everything.

"Harry, how did-?"

"How did I have your photo? Yes, I'm getting to that. But, it's a long story" I chuckled ignoring the pain in my hand.

She gave me a confused look. I took a long breath...

"Little Whining, 4-privet drive, that's where my Aunt and Uncle live. The Dursleys." I sighed.

"What!?"

"Gin, please let me finish" she nodded.

"Firstly, I'm so sorry I lied to you, ginny. I lied to you all along. The thing is I visit Dursley's every summer. I always hate it there but this summer...it was different, a good different." I smiled to myself. "Y'know why? The reason is you. When I first saw you helping a kid from Dudley, I understood how strong and brave you are. If you remember pranking Dudley, you climbed into my room that day and you said you saw some moving pictures in a book. That's not completely wrong." I laughed at her shocked expression. Her mouth is wide open.

"I used to see you every day from far admiring you, wish I was next to you but it didn't happen. I thought I'd be brave enough to meet you next summer. I decided not to tell you about the Dursleys because it's linked up with my past and I am not ready to share that with you...yet. However, a second miracle happened in my life, that is seeing you in kings cross. If you wanted to know what the first one is, it's meeting you."

"I was on cloud nine that you're here, next to me. All these days, you've no idea how much happy you made me, gin. I've wanted to spend every second with you, I tried. I wanted to be everything to you. I don't know if I'm being selfish but I hoped if you need something I wanted to be your first choice. I thought I was being so obvious being the shy guy or blushing around you every time, of course, you didn't notice. Slug club, I asked you as a date gin, you friend-zoned me. You wanted to go with dean. It hurt a lot seeing you with someone else that ain't me. The anger I showed on Parkinson that night doesn't had to do with her but dean. If it was him in that place I would have hexed him"

"Something happened between us which made us distant. It's killing me, gin, staying away from you. I wish I am your first choice but it's obvious. It's always dean. He's my friend until you became his friend. I can't help but want to rip dean off every time I see you being cosy with each other. I've done everything to say how I feel for you. Fuck! Have you ever saw me being comfortable with anyone as I will be with you? Did you ever? I couldn't even think of any girl cause you're filled inside my heart."
"If you still didn't understand what I ranted, I'm in love with you, ginny. For a very long time now. I can't hide this feeling anymore and I don't want to. Please please don't tell me you like dean, gin."
"I-ca-cant take i-it" I managed between sobs. "I see you every day with him which already leave me half dead. I don't want to be a jealous brat but loving you includes all this. I envy him, every time I see him with you I wish it was me. I curse myself why it wasn't me"

I ended it not because my speech is over but my mouth is dry and my wrist is in too much pain.

I told her! I did! I finally did! I'm not happy cause she isn't say anything. I heard her sniffle, she's crying covering her face with her hands.

I wanted nothing more than to wrap my hands around her to comfort her. I did walk to her and wrapped my left arm around her. She tensed up for a bit and relaxed the next minute.

"I love you, gin. Nothing in this world can change this. I just hope you understand"

After a couple of minutes, we broke but didn't move away from each other. I stared into that gorgeous eye that is now filled with tears. We are so close and I couldn't help but wanted to kiss that beautiful lips of hers.

I placed my wounded hand on her cheek pulling her face a little closer to me. I'm sure I'll leave bloodstains on her face. She winced a bit but didn't move.

"Gin..." Without warning I placed my lips on hers. Neither she nor I moved a bit. We just stood there with our lips attached and eyes closed. I'm too exhausted to move and her, I think she's too shocked to move. I wish I could stay like this forever. Instantly, her breath raised and I panicked. I'm afraid she's pulling me away.

Please please don't pull me away, gin.

She placed her arm on my chest and I opened my eyes to look at hers, parting our lips. Tears rolling down her cheek like a continuous water flow.

I understand where this is going...no, God! Please! I begged.

She pushed me away from her. I don't want to move so I didn't budge. But I heard a small "please" from her. Immediately, I stepped away.

Her sobs increased and she covered her face with her hands again.
"I.....

*pause*

"I...don't"

*pause*

"..... Know"

She said as she fallen on her knees.

That's it. I could feel my eyes covered with water cause everything got blurred.
Suddenly, the pain shifted from my hand to my heart and felt like breaking into million pieces.
My world was crumbling at that one moment. Is this happening? Or am I dreaming?
No, no, no! Please wake up harry. Maybe it's a dream. It shouldn't end this way. I-
I feel the tears falling... it's not a dream.

All I could hear is my heartbeat and her sniffles. I don't want to be here, I don't want to be anywhere near her. I stumbled out of the astronomy tower ignoring "harry, stop" from ginny. I heard enough of what she said. Maybe it's dean. She loves him, yeah? Kathy's right. I'm a fucking idiot not to see this coming. It was my fault. I hate myself, I hate ginny, I hate dean!

I-- don't even have strength anymore. All those tears I'm trying to hold flowing continuously without my permission. Things wouldn't be the same way, would they?

She doesn't love me and I love her to death.

Why can't it be the other way? Like her accepting it and we both-- I couldn't even able to think about it. It's breaking me more but...

I'm already broken.
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I know you guys wanted to kill me, please do :(