I leaned into him without thinking of hurt, or pain, or cruelty; of anything besides needing to let what had just gotten into me out. Something about the way he held me just felt so right, like I was made to be held by him like that. I rested my head on his chest, everything that had been bottled up over the last few minutes, the last few days – the last few years, truthfully – just came out all at once. It was strange to have Andreas comfort me, when just a moment ago he had been twisting the knife to make sure I felt it.

I pulled away from him after the sobs died down, desperately trying to hide my embarrassment.

“I didn’t know he tried to do that to you,” Andreas said as I wriggled out from under his arm. It was as delicately as he had spoken to me all this time.  Perhaps, even with the goal of hurting me, his opening up had left him vulnerable to something he didn’t realize, after all.

“Why would you even care?” My voice was fragile, shaking.  “You told me that the stories I’ve heard about you are true. You must have done much worse.”

He sighed. “The stories are true, but I have never raped a woman, nor will I ever.  I’m a lot of things, and I have hurt a lot of people. But this is one line I never cross. It’s something only a weak man would do to try and assert his strength.”

 In that moment, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that he cared about something. “When you said you couldn’t promise that you won’t hurt me—“

“I still cannot promise that, little witch. But there is more than one way a person can get hurt. However, I will never insult my mother by forcing myself upon a woman, much less a girl.”

“If you don’t hurt women –“

“I didn’t say I never hurt them. I just don’t hurt them in that way. Just because there is one line I will not cross, does not mean I stay behind the other lines as well. I have killed people. I have hurt people. And I’m not a good person. But just because I’m generally evil, does not mean that I cannot do a good deed every now and then, or have some sense of morality when it comes to certain things. Just like a couple of bad deeds doesn’t make a generally good person bad. It works both ways. There is nothing in the world that is pure evil, nor is anything ever purely good.”

I leaned back to him and he pulled me into his chest again. Instead of placing his arm comfortingly around me, it was protective… and, right now, that felt very good. Perhaps he was right. One could be evil and still have a good heart, just as one could be good but have a heart tainted by evil.

“We should find a more comfortable spot to rest at for the night,” Andreas said as he pulled himself to his feet. He lifted me, but I was unsteady with the jumble of emotions overwhelming me. I stumbled, and he caught me, straightening me out. When I caught his eyes on me again, there was intensity I hadn’t seen before. Not vicious… at least, not vicious alone.

He backed me against the tree, much like he had earlier, and blocked my escape again. Panic started to shoot through me again as he kept me in place…but, I immediately knew, that it was not the panic I had felt before at all.  Not a panic born from the fear of harm, but from somewhere else.  In the next flash, I realized: I trusted him. So help me, I believed him when he said that he wouldn’t hurt me in that way.

Andreas was leaning against me, his body touching almost every part of mine, our faces almost as one. He closed his eyes and slightly shook his head. “What is it about you?” I could only lightly shake my head, for no reason I knew. “I would not have saved another girl.” He said this in disbelief, almost to himself.

“What do you mean?” I was breathless. My heart was beating so fast I swore he could’ve heard it. I could feel his breath, like a weight, on the skin around my mouth.

He opened his eyes, but didn’t look into mine. Instead, he focused his gaze on my lips. “If there had been another girl in that cage that night, I probably would’ve walked past without much thought. I never care about who lives or dies, but for some reason I wanted to get you out of the cage. I still don’t know why. I was hoping it would become clear as we traveled, but it hasn’t.”

I couldn’t say anything. My thoughts were a frantic mess. His lips quirked up at the side again. I could now feel his breath on my lips. “Maybe it was because I wanted to do this,” he said, his voice low, and husky.

What happened next I couldn’t have predicted no matter how hard I tried. Even while it was happening. His lips were suddenly on mine, gently, lovingly.  I tried to tell myself that it had to be a dream since it was the only explanation that seemed plausible. But the warmth of his lips on mine, and the response of mine on his, assured me it was undeniably real.

My whole body froze and locked into place. His lips parted mine as he claimed my mouth. I let him. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. Every other thought in my head disappeared. Warmth radiated through my body and I was suddenly desperate for more. He cupped my neck with his hands as the kiss grew more heated, his body pressed tighter against mine. My control over myself vanished, and a breathless gasp escaped my lips.

In an instant, that seemed to break whatever spell he had been under. He pulled away and walked back over to the other tree.

“You should get some sleep. You need to replenish your energy,” he said.  His voice was without inflection, as if he hadn’t just kissed me. He sat down gracefully next to the tree, and closed his eyes.

I remained standing where I was against the other tree in complete and utter shock, trying and failing to make sense of what happened.  And why it seemed to suddenly vanish.

My legs gave out and I sank to down, my head leaning against the tree. The kind of kiss he gave me was earthshattering. The kind of kiss you gave to someone you truly cared about. But he didn’t care about me. He had said as much several times. So what did he hope to accomplish? And was it possible that he wanted to do it again as much as I did? Sleep now, little witch, came Andreas’ voice, following me down with that smirk of his… but whether it was a creation of his or mine, I didn’t know.

*   *   *

When I awoke the next morning I was sure that I had all been a dream. But the phantom kiss that remained on my lips told another story. We were walking again through another thick forest, this time of coniferous trees. Andreas handed me a banana he had retrieved that morning while I was still sleeping. He refused to address the kiss, acting like it never even happened. His behavior made me feel self-conscious.  Even more, it worried me beyond what I expected that he might be thinking the whole thing was a mistake.

Andreas regarded me with an odd expression after I had finished eating and we had been walking for a while, pushing our way through the brushy woods. “You don’t have to look so sad, little witch. If you didn’t like the kiss I gave you last night, you could just say so.”

My eyes widened in disbelief. “What?” I asked, my amazement clear. The sudden, brazen statement put me off balance, again, and that seemed to amuse him even more.

 “You had me worried that I was losing my touch.” Before I could gather any response, he continued.  “If it’s not the kiss, then what is bothering you?”

I shook my head to clear the confusion. “You are the most confusing man on the planet,” I stated in wonder more to myself than to him. “I thought you were avoiding the topic…” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, the words too embarrassing to pronounce loudly.

“I don’t avoid anything, little witch. But I don’t usually start the conversation either. If you want to talk about it, we can talk about it.”

I shook my head. “I would rather not,” I croaked, barely even able to hear myself.

“Very well, it is your choice. Just know that, to my surprise – and I don’t often get to say that – I wouldn’t mind kissing you again.”

I stared at the ground, my natural shyness taking over. I had no clue what to say to him.   I came to realize, though, that every fiber of my being wanted him to kiss me again.

“She couldn’t have gotten far,” a voice sounded from a distance. Andreas froze, and extended his arm out to hold me back, as well. I stopped abruptly and searched his face. His eyes started scouring the nearby landscape, and that hint of danger to them that I had momentarily forgotten was always present returned.

“She’s alone, and almost certainly tired and hungry by now. We should be able to find your daughter soon. I promise I will not let her get away,” another voice answered.

My eyes popped. I knew that voice. It belonged to Eiet. Andreas turned to me with inhuman speed and had me pinned against the sappy trunk of one of the tall pines, his hand covering my mouth before I could even register what was happening.

“Now is not the time to make a noise, understand?” he whispered, the warning evident.

My body felt rigid. I wanted to talk to Eiet, to tell him I was alright, but I couldn’t fight against Andreas’ hold…and, honestly I didn’t really want to. He was standing almost as close to me as he had been when he kissed me the previous night.

I don’t know how long we remained like that before he finally let his hand drop from my mouth. “We have wasted too much time. But they don’t know I’m with you; we can use that to our advantage. We have to be careful. I won’t be able to leave you alone anymore while I go get food. You cannot afford having them find you. Do you understand?”

I nodded and he smirked. “Good,” he said and kissed me again. My senses overloaded, and this time I actually fainted.