I raised my eyebrows at him. “Watching me with Kalen? Are you implying you let me be with Kalen?” I accused.

He stepped closer until he once again had me trapped between him and something else. “I’m implying nothing of the sort. But I am tired of seeing the way you smile at him. I’m tired of him acting like such a great man when he is not really. And I’m tired of seeing you fall for his act.”

“For your information, he doesn’t act like a good person,” I commented in an attempt to defend Kalen. It sounded flat to my ears though. My breathing was too uneven. Even though I had decided to move on from Andreas, I couldn’t control the way my body reacted to him. He was too close for me to think clearly.

“Yes, he does. He’s never this charming. I’ve known him for a lot longer than you have. He’s putting up a pretty good act, I will give him that much credit. And it’s working on you.”

I placed the palm of my hand on his chest, trying to push him away to no avail. “What’s working on me is that he is nice to me. What’s working is that he actually cares about me.”

“And you think I don’t?” His voice was husky.

I stared into his eyes, trying to see what he was thinking, but as always he hid his emotions too well. “That’s what you’ve been telling me since day one! That I shouldn’t mistake your actions as that of someone that cared! You are not going to blame me for thinking that you don’t care!”

He closed his eyes. “I do care, Lana. More than I should. I have told you this, but it seems like you weren’t listening, so I will spell it out for you. When I told you I didn’t care, I was lying. Everything I did to make you hate me, I did to push you away only to realize it was pointless. What more do I need to say?”

He locked those midnight blue eyes on mine. “I still don’t know if I can believe you,” I whispered.

His fist collided with the door right next to my head. I stared at him with wide, bewildered eyes. “I made a mistake, I will admit that. But how much groveling do you expect me to do?”

“You haven’t done any groveling,” I reminded him. “You haven’t done anything except be around and occasionally say something. You never show what you feel and frankly, you can be damn confusing!”

“This,” he gestured to himself, “is me groveling.”

“Then you clearly don’t understand the meaning of the word,” I fired back. I needed to stand firm. I wasn’t about to let him get at me again.

“Very well. You want me to be more direct with my feelings. I will be.” He leaned in and kissed me, catching me completely off guard. I stood there frozen, his lips on mine. I stood no chance. Not when he kissed me like that. Every thought melted away into nothingness. I couldn’t think. My body came undone and I lost myself in the feel of his lips on mine.

I had forgotten what they felt like. I had forgotten how much I craved this. His lips were warm and insistent, hungry like someone who hadn’t eaten for months. I got the sense that he had wanted to do this for a long time. All rational thoughts flew out the door he had me pressed against, the distance between our bodies growing smaller.

Suddenly, he pulled me away from the door and closer to him. My arms wrapped around him instinctively, having a mind of their own. I was consumed by the need to be close to him, to touch him. His hands traveled to my waist and hovered there, inching me closer to him still.

His hands skimmed across my back, searching. The spell broke as realization dawned on me. I pulled back in a shock, holding one finger up to keep him where he was. “No, I’m not doing this again,” I said.

“You don’t trust me,” he remarked sadly.

“How can I?” I yelled. “You seduced me and made me feel worthless afterward! I do not want to feel like that again! I gave you a chance and all you did was rip out my heart and stomp it into the ground. You hurt me and that is something I cannot forgive so easily.”

“I truly am sorry for my actions.”

Tears were threatening. I had to keep my resolve. No matter how much I craved to be in his arms, I couldn’t allow myself to give in so easily. He needed to understand that he couldn’t play with my heart like it was a toy. If I gave in now, he would think he could get away with it every time. No. I wasn’t going to give in to him. “I can’t forgive you, not yet.”

“What can I do to make you forgive me?” he asked, his voice more vulnerable that I had heard it before.

“I don’t know.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I was starting to fall in love with you and you acted like I didn’t matter!” The words spilled out of my mouth. It was only in that moment I realized how true they were. Words I couldn’t admit to myself before, now in the open for the both of us to see.

His walls crumbled to the ground, his eyes widening in shock. I didn’t give him a chance to reply and ran into the garden, hoping to get some peace of mind.