my eyes open to a face i've longed to see next to me in what seemed forever.

i trace his lips with my index finger softly enough not to wake him.

he looked so peaceful and harmless next to me asleep.

i stare at him like i've done many nights a long time ago.

i close my eyes.

our laughter.
our yelling.
our hands intertwining.

i think i don't love you anymore.

it'll always be forever.

you're perfect.

you're not enough.

i want her now, not you.

stop trying to make us work. 

we can't work, we won't ever work.

i let out a sigh.

his hands move across my waist,

our foreheads laying against each other's.

i look at his perfect-lengthed eyelashes and his flawless shaped jawline.

i look at the scar on his left cheek under his eye.

i could still think of the many times I used to stare at his perfectly flawless face, in these same white bed sheets.

this was the same person who taught me love, the same person who broke my trust and left me for someone better.

the one who kissed me places where nobody else could, and the one who caused the worst affliction to my heart and soul.

the one who listened to my sobs and pleads, and the one who kissed my tears and held my shaking hands.

his hands suddenly slide to my hair and he tangles a strand in between his fingers.

how many other people has woke up to next to him and stared at his flawlessness in awe?

i tear the thought away immediately.

i could hear my heart pounding.

then his eyes open
and stare into mine.

"hey sleepy head." i say.

"hey, i overslept. didn't i?" he asks.

"its almost 1 in the afternoon." i tell him.

he sits up.

and i look up at him.

he smiles at me warmly,
and then leans down to kiss me.

my heart races at his warmth and touch.

"i love you." i mumble.

he looks down at me, speechless.

"i know." he says,
after a few moments of silence.

i sit up and watch as he puts his shirt on and then his pants.

"i have to go now." he says, avoiding eye contact.

i watch as he turns the knob. 

"wait." i say, loudly.

he pauses.

"are you trying to say that last night meant nothing to you?" i ask, trying to unwrap myself from the tangled bed sheets.

"i didn't say that." he says, not turning to look at me.

"please don't leave." i whisper.

"i'll see you soon." he promises.

he turns around
and looks at me one last time.

"and, i promise that."

i look at him one last time, until he disappears out of the room.