i follow vertigo down the street and into a warm cozy café.

i take in my surroundings and vertigo rambles about how nervous she is.

the café was a light brown and the smell of coffee was strong as you enter through the door.

it gave me a feeling of nostalgia and i shudder in remembrance of a time.

a time i longed to forget.

"so why did you pick a café?" i ask, with curiosity.

she looks up at the ceiling. "it was more of his idea than mine." she says.

i sit beside her, as we wait for this guy patiently.

"why are you nervous?" i ask her, breaking the silence between us. 

"don't be so unsympathetic. have you never been on a date before?" she asks me, nudging me.

i swallow. the panic rising up my throat. "where is the restroom?" i ask, catching a breath as i speak.

"uh yea the sign is right there." she says, glancing at my face. she points across the room.

"i'll be back." i breathe. not sure if i was exactly lying are not.

all my brain was screaming to run out of the coffee shop and as far away from love as i can.

love. the feeling that brought me to my highest and then left me crashing down. shattering every bone and artery in my entire body. crushing my soul into millions of pieces.

she nods and waves me off.

i look in the mirror. my face was flushed and i didn't understand why love set fear into me so easily. why am i so unlucky?

i didnt know if it was the light or the mirror but realization hit that i had changed in a year so dramatically i barely recognized myself anymore.

i had spent so long away from a mirror, a real mirror to my soul that i didnt realize how much i had changed.

i walk back out after i collected myself to find vertigo giggling.  i watch as the boy turns around and all the blood rushes to my head. my heart stops suddenly and the café soft music goes silent. the moon's glare darkens and everything begins to spin.

it was you.