|simply|

        "it's not that simple." she whispers, biting her lip.

"nothing can be simple, that's why it's called life, dear." he says, as his fingers trace the sides of my cheeks slowly.

      she chews her lip in frustration.
      he never understands.

he reaches in his pocket for his lighter, and lights his cigarette.

       she sighs silently.
       she hated the fact that he smokes.
        even though she does it as well.

"don't look at me like that." he says, as our eyes meet.

         "you shouldn't do that." i tell him for the hundredth time. 

he purses his lips together in annoyance.

"why not? you do it, don't you? yes." he says, exhaling a puff of smoke into the cold air.

        i shift my cold hands in my pocket.

        "that doesn't mean it's okay." i whisper lowly, barely enough to hear.

he grimaces.
he raises his hand up, motioning me to be quiet.

         "it's an addiction. it isn't healthy." i blurt, ignoring his request for me to forget it.

"It is, if you let it be." he simply states.

          "please stop." I plead, reaching for his arm.

           he looks at me for a couple seconds.
          and then closes his eyes.

a sigh escapes his lips as he drops the cigarette to the ground, and steps on it viscously.

           his eyes meet mine and he smiles at me.
           for the first time in so long, it looked sincere like it once had all the time long before now.
           what has happened between us?

"there are you happy?" he mumbles, still eyes locked on mine.

             i allow a smile genuinely to escape my cold lips from the freezing air.

             "yes. i am." i reply.

"now, don't look at me like that." he orders.

              i look down at the ground, trying to forget it.
              forget the overwhelming feelings of how he left me.
              he meaning the one standing in front of me now.

              " i still wish for us every night. i wish you was laying there beside me like we used to. i wish you'd say those three words and mean them and depend on them more than the stars depend on the sky. i wish and wish, but you know? you'll never come back." I ramble.

              he's heard me say similar things like this, but he usually shuts them out.
              sometimes he walks away without a word.
               sometimes he sighs and tells me i am impossible.
               i know I am impossible, and i'm also very stubborn.
               but that is just because I've never been so certain that he was and is the one.
                for me but maybe not me for him.
                and that will also hurt.
                because it is so impossible.
                 so impossible to live without calling him mine.

"now we've gone through this too many times to count. why won't you accept we aren't meant to be. we only began to start having problems. just forget me." he says, backing away slightly.

               "how can i forget what is standing right in front of me? how can i forget all those memories? no, i refuse. i can't. we could have tried. i would have tried." I whisper, as the familiar sharp pain made its way up my throat.

           I was holding back tears.

"you need to accept that I don't- can't love you. i'm sorry. i've apologized so many times but it isn't enough." he touches my face gently which causes tears to fall down my cheeks silently.

             "it isn't enough. you always have thought that saying sorry would make everything better. when you cheated on me, you told me how sorry you was and you knew since I love you, I'd forgive you and stay." my voice shakes.

"do you see why we aren't meant to be? i don't feel the same...anymore. i tried leaving you alone but you keep coming back. you say i'm hurting you still but you are just hurting yourself." he says, wiping the tears from my eyes.

          " you know I won't give up. i can't stand the thought of you loving someone else." i whisper, trying to stop shivering from the frosty air.

he sighs and reaches his hand in his pocket.

" i forgot to give you this." he informs me.

           i look down at his hand, and see my locket that i had forgotten while i was over at his house just several days before he had left me.

i gasp, and take it from him quickly.

" thought you may want it. memories and all." he says, returning his hands to his pockets.

             i appear down at it. this is what he had gave me for our four year anniversary. it had a picture of us two in it. he had told me it was his favorite picture of me.

                i shakily open it to be disappointed.
                the picture was gone.
                 i could hear my heart tearing. 

               "but the picture...where is our picture?" i ask, looking up from the locket, searching his face.

"oh i took it out. i didn't think you needed it since we aren't together and all. it would just hurt you even more, wouldn't it?" he states, with no emotion.

              the sound of his carelessness made me question why i even loved him in the first place but in the back of my mind, the reasons why were loud and clear.

              " i can not believe you've did that. you take everything away from me. i needed that picture, it was your favorite picture. you can't help but to keep hurting me more and more. Where is it?" I snap.

" i simply burned it. look, i must get going. we are going to catch a cold standing out here for so long. go home." he says, as he waves and turns the other way and leaves.

            i clench the locket in my hand and hold back tears.
            i watch as he gets further and further away.
            i lost him again.