it was him. 

him wearing his old black coat that had to torn holes in the pockets.

him with his worn out sneakers that he can't seem to part ways with.

it was him.

i could feel the blood rush to my head and my heart pounding hard against my chest.

i stare at him for what seemed like hours but was only for a brief few seconds.

he looks back at me with a shock that was clearly on his face.

he still looked the same.

he smiles at me which takes me by surprise.

i could feel the world around me shift.

his smile gave me chills all over my body and i instantly look away.

"well hey, it's nice to...meet you." he says, as you outstretch your arm gently.

i hesitate instantly. did i really want to feel his touch?

i slowly shake his hand.

"was your trip to the bathroom well?" veritgo asks, as she looks over his shoulder.

oh was it?
i smile and nod shyly.

"how about we properly sit down and talk." vertigo says.

i follow them and sit on the opposite side of the booth from them.

i bite down at the thought of vertigo and him together.

i close my eyes as i drink my coffee i ordered earlier slowly.

the sound of my heart could be heard a block away.

i open to my eyes to vertigo laughing and him watching me.

our eyes meet but he looks over at veritgo who was now choking.

"have you guys met before or something?" vertigo asks, noticing the awkwardness.

oh, have we met?

i open my mouth to say something but then he speaks.

"no, i don't think so." he says.

i could feel rage rise up.

how dare he lie and act like all we had was absolutely nothing.

i get to my feet. i had to leave.

tears brimmed my eyes because not only is he pretending he never met me but he is winning once again.

he gets to see me weak once more. i am always the weak one. he will always have that power above me.

veritgo looks at me, confused. "hey are you okay?" she asks.

i nod and instantly sit back down.

he's not going to win.

"okay so tell us about yourself." he says, after clearing his throat. 

his eyes meet mine and i look deep into his eyes.

i could see all the memories flashing before me and the pain ripped at my heart.

what has he done to me?

he waits for a reply.

"i am nothing special. i'm just me." i whisper. my voice shook.

he sits forward, making further eye contact.

"i'm sure there is more to you than you think." he says. his breath hits my face and the familiarity sets my heart on fire.

my heart was demanding two words.

kiss him.

i swallow the thought in disbelief.

did i really just think that?

"no. i am just me. my favorite color is blue. i like foggy nights and cloudy days."

"same as always." he mumbles, barely audible. but i hear it.

and nobody else does but i hear it loud and clear.

he didn't forget.

he hasn't forgot.

which means that he has thought of me.

i swallow the hope down my throat.

and repeat to myself over and over

there is no hope, there is no hope.

there is no hope.

||self destruct pt 2 up next ||