|reunite|

it took me days to finally pick up the courage to find vertigo.

i walked around for hours looking for her. as soon as i saw her, i began to feel guilt.

she saw me and walked towards me. she looked like she was near tears.

"hey, its you!" she exclaims. she wraps me in a tight hug.

i hug her back in shock. "you aren't mad?" i ask.

"of course not!" she says, wiping a few tears away.

i remain emotionless. "but xy said..." i don't finish.

"xy has always been angry. he just wanted to find some blame. don't listen to him. it isn't your fault." she says, patting my shoulder.

i could see a thick scar had formed on her cheek.

"i have so much to tell you!" she says.

as we walk down a path, i listen as she compliments the nurses and doctor's that had helped through it all. but then one sentence makes me freeze.

"oh and guess what i met a guy." she says, finishing her ramble.

i let her continue. i wasn't going to rant about how love destroyed me completely. don't get too close to anyone. everyone leaves eventually. i had to remind myself before i vented and broke down.

"there was this guy who would wander the halls everyday for hours at a time. he'd simply just walk around, pacing the floor. so one day, i decided to call him into my room and see why he was doing that." she says, pausing for breath.

i stay silent, i never was the one to speak. i've always been the listener.

"so once i had got his attention and asked him, he said he was visiting someone. i asked who. and he responded somebody he used to know. he never would give me any other detail. so i stopped asking about it eventually." she says, looking up at the sky brightly.

"anyways so he promised he'd take me on a date and make me feel beautiful once i get out of the hospital." she says, with a giggle. i could see her cheeks turn a light pink.

i could taste the vomit trying to force its way up my throat. i forced myself to contain myself and listen.

"so later this afternoon he's taking me out!!" she shrieks.

i force a smile. "that's great, vertigo." i say.

she smiles at me widely. "you're going to meet him soon too. you'll see how great he is." she says, with a grin.

i nod along with her but the memories of my own experiences were burning a hole in my heart deeper than before.

the first stages of love made me sick. how naive i was made anger rise in the pit of my stomach.

after i had went home, tears flooded my eyes and i fell to the floor. i threw the album of pictures of me and him and cried until i passed out.

because unlike vertigo knew, love will break you down into bits and pieces.

and once that happens you lose control of everything, even yourself.